Unhappy Friday

Well hello there!

I was hoping to write something funny and/or insightful today, but it's not going to happen. You see I've done something tres stupide and have gotten myself into a little situation. I'm dying to write about it, if for nothing more than to make each and every one of you feel far superior to me, which would be a nice little "going into the weekend gift" from me to you, but I'll need some time to try to fix things before I share.

So, given that I'm in a major snit, and I can't write about what's really bothering me, I thought I would do a little free association list of some OTHER things that get stuck in my craw. One of which is the expression, "Stuck in my Craw." What the heck does that mean, anyway? Sounds gross, and I'm too afraid to Google it.

When I started blogging, I made a list of things that bugged me.

Here are some additions:

Self Checkout at the supermarket: Why would I want to do someone else's job when I could be doing a quick scan of People and US Weekly instead? And if I am going to do someone else's job, which only happens when I'm pressured to do so, why can't it ever work out right? Why does the disembodied voice NEVER BELIEVE I am putting what I am putting on the conveyer belt? And, if the checker has to come over and help me anyway, then send me to purgatory (the service desk), are we really saving any time or money here?

"Let Go and Let God": Just bugs me. Always has. Always will. Great concept; annoying phrase.

Magazines that encourage us to strengthen our pelvic floor muscles by "stopping the flow of urine midstream." Puh-lease. Telling that to someone who has squeezed out 2 kids is like telling her to go climb Mt. Everest before school pick-up time.

Living In Overcrowded 'Burbs: I do not appreciate having to get up at 5 am to register kids for swim lessons, or tennis, or preschool. I mean, who wants to be wait-listed for VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL for heaven's sake? That just seems wrong.

Not enough Samoas in a box to satisfy me.

Mouse poop in my can of refried beans. Yep. Happened on Wed.

Providing snacks for every child-related event.

Muddy Paws.

High Pressure Sales Tactics. (more on this next week)

Feeling Foolish (more on this next week)

Tripping on everyone's stuff. Every darn day.

My blue jeans rubbing off on the new car's leather seats.

A 60 lb dog who hangs out ON the kitchen table while I'm at work.

And last but not least:

Wayward pantiliners.

March: In Like a Lion, Out Like a MAN?

I was digging in my purse today and saw something Molly doodled on the back of an offering envelope in church. It was a joyous springtime tribute to March.

See anything interesting?

Looks like something other than ROSES is coming up this time of year.




Oh my.

Thanks to your generous contributions, our Well Fund is up to $467! I have faith that we can get to $5,000. Please check out our donation page and save lives.

Recipe for Disaster?

Take one 10 year old boy. Add an all-night church lock in. Keep him awake for 32 hours straight. Top off with the final basketball game of the season. Watch as absolutely NO hilarity ensues.

Let's Dig It Together!

You may remember back in January when I posted that my immediate family and friends from my small group had decided to spend this year finding creative ways to raise money to build a well for people without access to clean drinking water. We would have yard sales, clip coupons, host parties and beg generous blog readers to join us.

Well, somehow January soon became March, and this Year of Living Generously needed kicking off! In my search to find the perfect organization, and one that would enable blog readers to securely donate online and track progress, I found Charity: Water!

Oh my. What a jackpot!

While the fundraising amount was higher than I had anticipated (interesting how we are often stretched beyond what we think is do-able), I was stunned to discover that 100% of every penny raised goes DIRECTLY to well projects and sustainable clean water solutions in the areas of greatest need around the world.

I can't wait for you to read about Charity: Water, and I can't wait to see how you might be prompted to respond.

To add to the, errr, excitement, Charity: Water fundraising projects run for only 3 months spans.

Eeek.

This means that while my family and small group will be raising money all year long, the particular well project we have signed on for needs to be funded by early June.

Impossible?

Let's see.

Thank you to the An Inch of Gray reader and funny gal who already donated $100 to kick things off.

Go to our Year of Living Generously Page and check out how you can help!

Maybe I Should Break Out the Garanimals

Scene One:

So when I dared to give Molly clothing advice for Friday, when she will be getting up in front of the entire school and has been told to “dress up,” she scorned my choices immediately.

I did not like her tone. A skirt flew through the air.

Keeping my voice low and calm, I said, “You may wear what you want, but I refuse to accept your telling me I don’t know anything about clothes.”

More eye-rolling, mocking.

“I was, as you may have heard, voted Best Dressed in high school.” Yes, I'm not above playing the Senior Superlative card with my 8 year old.

Her reply: “I wouldn’t brag about that. Everyone knows that was the 80’s.”

Scene Two:

Upon presenting my beloved son with a shearling lined hoodie from Lands End, I was distressed to see he rejected it because, “It looks like it’s for a girl.”

Molly agreed.

Jake continued, “Sorry, Mom, but I have to go with Molly on this one. She’s Present Day.”

Sheesh.

SNUGILVR

Whether you are a Snuggie Mocker or a Snuggie Lover, I have a cool opportunity for you. My blog buddy Kristina, over at Pulsipher Predilections, has decided to channel her Worldwide Snuggie Power into helping elderly folks in nursing homes. Go check it out! My only complaint is that she's not paying me royalties for using me as the chest model in the graphic below.






And stay tuned for an update on our Well Project which will kick off THIS WEEK! I am so excited!

It's All about Me, Right?

So I was having a fabulous dinner with college friends this weekend when one of them mentioned a guy I dated a bit in college. She had seen him on Facebook. I continued eating my salad, but all I could think of was “Holy Batman! He’s on Facebook?!”

After nearly 20 years of nary a peep and zero updates through friends, I now had a chance to see how he’d been doing. Most other exes of mine are still friends. Tom and I go on double dates with a guy I dated for 2 years and his wife. One lives 2 doors down . Several came to our wedding.

But this one was different. He was the last guy I dated before Tom. He was at a tough time in life when he just seemed rudderless, and I worried about him. We had no closure, as we were just “hanging out,” and then one day we weren’t.

Earlier, when I dated a guy who didn’t seem that into me, I was secretly relieved when he later informed me he was gay. So, I think I tried to convince myself that if THIS guy hadn’t really hung around, captivated by my sparkling personality and inescapable beauty, he must be gay, too. File that under “Narcissistic” please.

Anyhoo, I had wondered over the years, because although I had been able to see other exes find their way, establish careers, and start families—I had heard NOTH-ing about him.

Well, upon my Facebook perusing, I see that not only is he NOT gay (hot wife, adorable kids—I know there are exceptions to this, but still…) he has established a great career in a town where you don’t have to wait a freakin' hour to get into the parking garage to go to a darn movie (just venting here), and he appears to have a fantastic quality of life.

During my Facebook stalking (PLEASE tell me he has not yet discovered the “See Who Has Been Viewing Your Profile” function!) I had mixed emotions.

You see, a wee little part of me fantasized that he’d be miserable because he didn’t have me to give his life meaning and purpose. File under "Narcissistic part deux," please.

Because I had neither seen him nor heard from him, in my mind he was still that endearing yet confused 22 year old needing someone to help him. I had stuck him in a box, but he had obviously crawled out of it a looooong time ago, while I went right on worrying. And, really, he was never mine to worry about in the first place.

Have you ever put someone in a box, or in a corner ("Nobody puts Baby in a corner!") only to be surprised when they didn't stay there? Has anyone done this to you?