Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Fashion Photo Shoot, Take 563

So I was thinking about starting to post photos of some thrift store outfits and get feedback from readers.

I'd be all: "brown boots-- $7.50, sweater-- $4.00, Ann Taylor Loft jeans-- 6.00, Bracelet-- 50 cents" and you'd be all: "Looks great! Don't feel bad that you spend $28.00 on jeans for your nine year old daughter but buy used clothes for yourself. You're looking f-i-n-e."

But I couldn't quite master the whole "taking a picture into a mirror thing," so I asked my 11 year old if he could pry himself from the computer for 5 seconds to take a picture. Whine. Complain. Huff. Puff.

He took this pretty much from Siberia, so if you want to get out a magnifying glass you can see my outfit. Fortunately the distance also shrinks the laundry piled up on the couch.


Then I decided to try what every woman aged 7 and up is doing these days-- and tuck my boots into my jeans.

My jeans aren't "skinny jeans" and the boots have an unconventional zipper situation, so this was harder than it might seem. To gain leverage, I had the audacity to sit on the couch.

THIS did not sit well with Shadow the Dog. Notice the glowing red eyes of the Devil's Spawn:

You see it was 4:18 and she eats dinner at 5. If I dare sit down between the hours of 4 and 5, she torments me by climbing on me and barking until I feed her. Yes, this is the dog we got instead of having a 3rd child. Waah.

So as I tried to shove my boot-cut jeans INSIDE the boot, I had a stinky fish-breath dog all up in my business.

My son, The Reluctant Photographer, suddenly got the undeniable urge to document:

While she may look semi-innocent standing on the floor in the rest of these photos, please KNOW that when my son pressed the button on the camera for each picture, the dog was on my lap. By the time the pictures took, I had shoved her ungently to the floor. BTW, who put my mother's hands in these pictures? Tail wagging. Happy to torment:



Looks can be deceiving:
Going in for the next lunge:

Get out of my crotch! How long does it take to put on a stinking boot?
This smile is fake. I am not amused.
Losing my will to go on. Does the dog look guilty?

I have an idea. Maybe if I just drink my tea she'll go away.
Fat chance. OUT! I AM SO SICK OF THIS DOG!

GO!

FINE! I give up. I will never sit down again. You win. Why don't you just eat yourself into a vomitous stupor?!

Here's the final pic, with one boot on and blurry.

Not that you can see the boot anyway. Sheesh.


Oh what we endure for the sake of fashion.

16 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I totally have that same issue with my jeans! I looked at Skinny Jeans the other day, but they sort of scare me.

Raine and Sage said...

I felt myself working into a lather just watching you put those boots on. It made me laugh! Nice outfit though and natural photography too. :)

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e) said...

High
Lar
Eee
Us.

One of my students broke her boot zipper today, and she said, "Well my mom is going to take these back, they cost 80 dollars." Seriously? She's great and all, but she's ten.

Meantime, I'm standing there, five times older, wearing a sweater dress I bought at Meijer (like a Target) for eight bucks.

And this season I'm endeavoring to buy nothing at all, even super clearanced or thrift. But this post, even with all its angst, has me thinking a Goodwill trip may be in order...

Graceful said...

Oh my gosh I am laughing and laughing. Don't I say that every single time I leave a comment here? You kill me.

I just had my son (9) take pictures of me in an outfit for a future blog post this week. I made him take like 900 shots, because, you know, I had 12 chins in one shot, looked like a frump bum in the next, was too far away in the next, had my head half cut off in the next. He finally said, exasperated, "This is the last picture I am taking Mommy." Yikes, reprimanded by my 9-year-old.

dearheart said...

I love how your son was able to capture one of the few awkward moments of motherhood. (:

Seriously, though, love the thrift finds, skinny jeans look or no. (:

L said...

Too funny! My stomach hurts from laughing! Thanks for the great start to my day!

Nichole@40daysof said...

Mine are supposed to eat at 5:30, at 4:30 they start to follow me around the house and stare plaintively. Aren't labs hilarious and pathetic? I guess one good thing is you can just put pills right on top of their food and they scarf them down. People with non-labs never believe me about that!

Masala Chica said...

so funny. I love you intention but the end result and your torturous journey to get there, so wonderfully documented by your son - were so much better.

love it.

Becky said...

Hah! What a fun post! I love the color of your curtains... not that that was part of the story at all.. but I do. I also like the cute buttons on your boots!

kim jackson said...

i love that dog. oh, and your outfit, too..... :]

Ann Imig said...

I LOVE thrifting! Great finds.

nonlineargirl said...

In case I have not made this clear enough in my responses to your other "used stuff" posts, I love this kind of thing. (except maybe for the dog on lap part. Dogs are so pushy.)

We belong to a neighborhood "swap shop" and I recently brought 5 boxes of clothes there. This week Ian, Mira and I stopped by and got 3 baby books, two pairs of 2T pants, a few shirts and a canvasy-jacket for me. If I decide I hate the latter item, I can always bring it back. One day I will shoot a picture of one of my favorite sweaters, also from the swap shop. Total cost $0!

Ann Imig said...

p.s. YOU WON YOU WON! Come claim your book and chickens!!

Jill said...

Oh your dog reminds me SO much of mine.

Same as your kids taking the pictures ...

Heidi said...

Hu-lar-ious!! So funny. I like your smiling face, your exasperated face, your angry face. Thanks for putting a smile on my face...before I've even had a chance to have a cup of coffee. And that is something.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

This totally made me laugh. I will be the "never" person to tuck jeans into boots. I could say it's because my butt is too big - but the more practical reason is that my CALVES are too big. It's hard enough to find boots that zip up over them - forget about tucking pants in. That fad can pass me by. I still think you look adorable.

p.s. Don't tuck in your pants.