Friday, September 19, 2008

"Good Academics and Some Moral Respects"

I started to dip my toe in the water about getting a job last night. As I perused the Craigslist want ads, one caught my eye. I was mighty excited about the subject matter and the salary. Perhaps getting back into the work force wouldn’t be as hard as I thought. I sent off an email. This is the response I got today:

“Hello Tutor,
Thanks for replying back to my online job posting, requiring your tutorial service for my son, I would like to make a tutoring arrangement between you and my son for the month of October 2008, I would like you to tutor him within a period of 1month, on a schedule basis of 1hr Daily, 3 times weekly, totaling 12 times in a month. I am willing to pay $70/hr. I would like to use these medium to inform you that my son dont live in the US, he would be flying from Australia to the US, I want you to teach him during his 1 month stay in the US, if there is need to extend your services, an ammedment would be made to your salary. The Local Library close to your location, would be your meeting place with him, he would be dropped off/picked up by his nanny during the hours of teaching.

Payment Terms & Condition:You would be receiving a check drawn from a Bank in the US, from my business associates in the US, since i am from Australia and Australia payments wont be honoured in a bank in the US, These check would be made out for the cost of the tutorial services you are rendering, and also for the living expense, nanny fees of my son.

Regarding this- I hope i can trust you with these payments, as the payment would be made out in excess, so all you have to do is process and cash the payment instantly at your bank, deduct your tutorial service fee, which should be $70 per hour X 12 Times a Month = $840 i would include an additional $100 for run around fee and any additional text book you might be needing- so $940 is what you deduct from the check you receive , whatever the remaining balance is after deduction of the $940 go ahead and deduct Money Gram transfer sending charges for sending out the remainder to the Nanny who would be contacting you with futher arrangements and instructions regarding pickup/drop off of my son to the library where you would always teach him.

So i hope i can trust you that you will teach my son good academics and some moral respects so that they can be good to their self in the future, i hope i can count on you for the tutorial and the money to be sent to the Nanny. I look forward to read a detailed message from you containing the following information, if you are OK with my arrangements, terms and condition.

Full Name.
Mailing Address including Zip Codes ( no PO Box pls ).
Cell No ( If Available ).
Home No.
Marital Status.
Best Time to Call.
Present Job Status.

N.B My sons Name is Bill Jr, He is actually coming to the US for sight seeing, but while he is here i want him to study at the same time, he understand english, can write and read fluently i just need his grammar, reading and writing upgraded,

Thanks for your Understanding.Bill Christopher.”

I’m glad to see that Mrs. Mary Williams of Nigeria, whose pleading missives regularly fill my in-box, is diversifying. Bill Christopher, Esquire from Australia? Oh boy. I’m not super psyched that he/she has my name and email address, all because I finally bothered looking for gainful employment. I can't wait to see what other gems are going to flood my computer in the coming days.

My job confidence was already faltering, and now I have to get spammed, or phished, or robbed or whatever you want to call it on my first attempt out. Of course the teacher side of me feels like helping poor Australian Bill with his letter writing skills. Maybe I’ll just stay home and blog more often.


Gretchen said...

Yikes! I was going to post my services on Craigs list. I am a tutor too. Now maybe I wont!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

It's sad how easy it is to spot these things now... That's pretty funny though.

L said...

No way! Is even Craig's List not sacred???? I am appalled.... and a little creeped out.