Out of the Mouths of Tweens

So a little while ago Molly comes up to me holding a half eaten half gallon of ice cream and two spoons. Molly: "Wanna go watch some tv and finish this thing off?" Me: "Sure! How do you know me so well, little girl?" Molly: "Well, you did push me out of your private parts, didn't ya?"

The Divine Ms. O

So which do you think is weirder? Kitty's Kelley's revelation that Oprah had a passionate love affair with John Tesh, or that Oprah downed 2 pecan pies in one sitting?

I'm going with Tesh since I, myself, am not unfamiliar with what can happen when one is left alone with a pie and a fork.

Oh Well

Remember last week when I was going to write about my mysterious yearly weight loss? Well, never mind.

Friday Confession

I'm already on my third round of candy corn for the season. I've gone through 1/2 a bag of Skittles and just opened the Reeses assortment Tom bought for trick or treaters. I hate to think I'll have to make a run to the store on Halloween night, but why should this year be any different?

A "Fallen" Woman

Even though it was 91 degrees today I know FALL is here. Why? Because I just bought me a 1 lb 4 oz tub o’ candy corn! I’m ready to get down to business. I usually share 1 or 2 pieces w/ the kids then eat myself into a stupor.

Molly and Jake aren’t much into candy anyway, so there’s no compelling need to share. In fact Jake said yesterday when Molly wondered where her Halloween (and Valentines and Easter!) candy had gone, “Oh Mom ate it. We’re more into the getting and she’s more into the eating.” Oh so true.

I don’t really love the taste of candy corn, but it’s right up there w/ the smell of new school supplies and buying 2 big mums that I’ll kill within a month for ringing in the new season.

I usually limit myself to one big container of candy corn a year, but I wish the stores would hold off a little in stocking their shelves. If I start too soon, say August or the 1st week in September, I sort of forget about the gorge-fest by late October and opt for a repeat performance.

What says “fall” to you?

It's My Party and I'll Fry if I Want To

I enjoyed the Olympic segment on all of the strange fried foods you can get in China. Scorpion on a stick, anyone? It reminded me of a family tradition I’ve been meaning to share with you.

Each summer we go camping in West Virginia with my brother. We stay at a rustic campground (toilets, no showers) in the mountains. We tube slowly down a river (beer cooler in tow), and make S’mores on demand. My brother is an expert camper, so Tom and I just need to show up and pitch our tent while he takes care of the rest.

One of the highlights of the weekend is “Fry Fest.” My brother heats up a vat of oil on his camp stove, whips up a batch of beer batter and starts to fry stuff. My son Jake has never enjoyed any type of fried food, so I usually sneak him a yogurt out of the Igloo cooler at this point. I tried to supplement our menu with a bagged Caesar Salad, but it was met with derision by the die-hard fryers in the group.

Within minutes, my brother and his best friend Will are dumping large quantities of fried food onto the picnic table. We sit around in camp chairs eating ourselves into a stupor.

Past experiments have included:

Whole onions, corn dogs, hardboiled eggs, chimichangas and doughnuts.

Here’s what we had this year:

Fish (caught that day)
Fish (frozen)
8 lbs of french fries
Chicken nuggets
Chicken breasts
Jalapeño jack cheese
Zingers (like Twinkies covered in raspberry jelly and coconut)

And my personal favorite: fried OREOS! Check out the photo above. Yum!

If just reading this makes you feel queasy and maybe a little bound up inside, you get the picture. Considering the rustic bathroom accommodations, and the fact that I try to make it the whole weekend without using the facilities for certain acts, Fry Fest works out just fine for me.