Saturday, December 27, 2008

Gooey Perfection

I remember feeling really sorry for Deborah Norville when she took over Jane Pauley’s spot on “The Today Show.” People were so mean. They never even gave her a chance. For 20 years or so I’ve been rooting for her, even during those lean years on “A Current Affair” or “Inside Edition” or whatever it was… until now.

Her interview in Family Circle has left me fairly nauseous. Perhaps I shouldn’t be reading magazines such as Family Circle if I don’t really aspire to a certain level of domestic bliss myself, but puh-leez.

I mean, at our house we had a near perfect Christmas. We wept at all the appropriate parts of “It’s A Wonderful Life,” we looked semi-decent for church. The kids woke up at a reasonable hour and took turns opening presents. They seemed genuinely grateful. We ate homemade chili and played games all afternoon. Fine. But do you really want to read about that?

Here are some snippets from the Deborah Norville interview:

Q: You were raised in Georgia. How have your southern values influenced your kids?

There’s a lot that I’ve tried to teach them: to say ma’am and sir, to have impeccable table manners, to respect their elders, and to pray before bed.

Yada, Yada, several more Q&A’s in which Deborah confesses to being a superior seamstress who “feels fulfilled when I finish making curtains or a dress” and a terrific cook whose chicken curry “is the dish my kids request the most.”

Personally, I feel most fulfilled after diving into a half-gallon of brownie ice cream. And I know that the second I would dare to mention that my children have "impeccable" anything, all hell would break loose. I'm never taking that chance.

This my fav:

Q: What’s life like on a random Saturday at your house?

A: If raspberries are in season, the kids and I like to bake a berry dessert. We put fresh berries in the bottom of a quiche pan and sprinkle them with sugar. Then we top that with a mix of soft butter, sugar and flour and bake at 325 until the fruit gets gooey. Delicious!

Sounds just like a typical Saturday here at Casa See. Nice and gooey.


Rebecca said...

That's so funny. I was jut thinking about how certain people have these "perfect" lives with laughter and joy at all appropriate times with no sign of losing their tempter at their kids when they spill a big glass of milk all over the table on top of all the food or wanting to escape to their room for a few minutes of alone time.

L said...

I think most of those "perfect" people are lying. Or at least I like to think that they are....

Ash said...

I smell something...and it ain't berry dessert, if you get my drift.

anymommy said...

How big a staff does she have so that she can maintain her berry baking bliss?! Yeah, it's c-r-a-p. Switch to People!! It's fantastically amusing and you'll end up feeling really good about yourself because you're not on your eighth husband or in rehab.

Anonymous said...

Am I going to make it here in Georgia? Even though I was born in Savannah?

I have already heard that the unofficial Easter dress sewing contest is severe... Maybe I'll play dumb? Or should I remind everyone that I spent most of the last decade in The North?

I am mostly Southern... and Deborah should know that any good berries are best eaten as you pick them! Anybody who really knows anything about berries comes back home with a full belly and only a half a bucket of berries.

Can you tell I prefer the awshucks-ish redneck rules to the uppity-ish debutant rules? Hope she didn't miss out of teaching her kids true kindness and Southern hospitality.
Don't worry... we always take down the Christmas lights before New Year's Eve.

Gretchen said...

Uh, that post is sick and wrong. Doesn't she know by now that NO ONE feels better hearing about how much better someone else's life is? A certain degree of self-deprication should be applied to her interview, in my opinion.

Madge said...

oh the berry answer is hilarious! "if berries are in season" really? that was what popped into her head when they asked her that question?

next time berries are in season i'd like to throw them at debra norville.

Keetha said...


She and Martha Stewart are both pod people.

(No joke - my verification word is "equal.")

Kate Coveny Hood said...

You know it's bad when the reader isn't wishing that life was more like that and instead thinking, "puke."

I'm sure that her kids are very well behaved as long as their staff is on hand to remove the trouble makers for periodic time outs.