What The???

We’ve been talking about dirty words around here a lot lately. The kids being told by some helpful soul that the “F word” starts with the letters “f” and “u” and hearing someone say “Ass Head” helped get the ball rolling. “My Dog Skip” added “titties” to the word bank. Let’s just say that the days of the “S” word meaning “stupid” are over in this house.

Anyway, as soon as Jake hears a dirty word, he starts to talk about it in lightly veiled terms (“the S word, the D word”) which while under the guise of protecting Molly’s innocence, just gets her more intrigued.

We’ve talked about how certain words or phases can be problematic because they are right on the verge of cursing. Thus my aversion to the current preschool trend of little kids saying “What the??? What the????” Ewww, I do not like that.

Anyway, now that they are 10 and almost 8 we have been giving the kids more freedom of speech than before: Toot has become Fart and Bottom has become Butt.

This pleases them to no end. I’m sure the slight hesitation and sheepish looks that precede the use of these words will not last forever, if they last till the end of the week.

During our most recent conversation they quizzed me on what is and isn’t allowed in our house (“Is darn allowed? Yes. “Suck?” No--use “Stink” instead. “Oh my God?” Absolutely not. “Oh my Gosh?” Well, yes), then Molly came up with this phrase crammed full of Mom and Dad-sanctioned expression.

“So you’re saying it’s okay to say,

Darn it my stink butt farted. Oh my Gosh!”

Much giggling ensued.

I’m sure we’ll look back at these as the Good Old Days.