In the Trenches in the Dog Days of Summer

When the kids were little, it seemed as if all hell would break lose when Tim would leave town, but when I was away, Tim would say things like, "We made a quick trip downtown so I could show the kids what a real Picasso looks like. There was a parking space right in front, and the stroller made everything so easy!" Then he would leave town again, and I'd be like, "Well, we all have diarrhea. And croup. Bright spot? We had a productive discussion as to whether diarrhea should be called #1 1/2 or #3."

The best/worst example of this phenomenon was when he got an extended assignment for his firm in Paris.  I was pregnant, with a sick toddler and a my own case of walking pneumonia. Oh, and my rib was cracked from coughing.

I'm sure Tim dreaded calling home.

But for some reason that didn't stop him from telling me about the great wine selection and how at one restaurant the staff rolled a cart to the table upon which sat, "The biggest cheese wheel I've ever seen!" I didn't even know what that meant, but in my diminished and desperate state, upon hearing that my husband was enjoying wine, freedom, the City of Light, and an enormous quantity of CHEESE, I was fraught with jealousy.

I share this because on Saturday, while I was away at a fantastic blog conference, almost 14 years after the cheese wheel incident, I think we are more than even.

I received this email from Tim while I was sitting in the warm sunshine, connecting with old friends and new:

BTW, I came home after dropping Margaret off and Shadow had got into
the trash and eaten several boxes of raisins.  I made her throw up with
hydrogen peroxide (there were raisins in the vomit).  But within seconds
Charlie was chowing down on the peroxide-laced vomit.  So I put him inside
while Shadow barfed outside, only to find when I returned to the kitchen
that Charlie had barfed and was promptly snacking on the twice recycled
vomit (is that like double baked potatoes?).  Definitely could have used an
extra set of hands!

Things have since calmed down.

Hope you're having fun.  Look forward to having you home tomorrow.

Of course my first concern was for the puppies, because raisins can be lethal for dogs. Little Charlie only weighs 7 lbs, so the prospect of his ingesting even a single raisin was terrifying. Fortunately they are both fine!

Once we were able to determine that they would be okay, I was able to laugh at Tim's email.

I mean, I think the phrase "peroxide-laced vomit" earns him his stripes when it comes to being in the trenches solo, for sure. His story has several moving parts including peril and bodily fluids, so let's just give him props right here.

I was glad he was on duty, that the situation turned out well, AND that I was over an hour away from home.

p.s. The two happy pups are cuddled at my feet right now.

p.p.s. What do you think about the diarrhea question?

Dog Days

We got a dog this summer. After debating about whether to have a third child, or get a dog, and the dog won out. This dog practically fell in our laps. My husband and I are people of little action, which explains how we woke up one day realizing our baby girl was over 6 years old. I was afraid that unless a dog fell out of the sky, we would never get one. Well, my sister called one day and said her next door neighbor wanted to give away two chocolate labs. My sister was up for one, if we wanted the other. Did we ever! This dog would be free, would be almost a year old (yay, no newborns!), and could play with her dog sister whenever my sister and I got together.

We should have felt forewarned when we called the dogs’ vet and the lady at the desk said, “Dallas and Shadow? I remember them. They are crazy!” Great. Anyway, we drove to my sister’s 4 ½ hours away and brought home our sweet puppy, Shadow.

Shadow was already crate trained, and we had every intention of keeping her in the crate when we weren’t home, restricting her to certain areas of the house, and letting her spend large amounts of time on a dog run outside. That first night she missed her sister and crate-mate so much she barked all night long. My husband slept on the cold floor next to the crate. The next day I left town for a girls’ weekend away. When my husband called me he shared the good news: “Shadow isn’t barking all night anymore,” and the bad news: “She’s sleeping in our bedroom.” Tim was so taken with having a dog, especially a big dog, that I’m lucky she wasn’t sleeping in my bed and on my pillow by the time I got home on Sunday.

Getting used to having a dog took some time. After one pee in the house incident, my husband moaned, “I just want to send her back!” He was seriously fed up. I was fed up when we hired a dog sitter later that month. Shadow was still using the crate sometimes during the day. While the pet sitter was out, Shadow broke out of her crate, injured her head on the metal, opened the guest room door and peed on the pet sitter’s bed! Ugh. When it became clear that the crate thing wasn’t working out, I decided to give her better accommodations by locking her in the bathroom while I ran errands. I figured she would be grateful to have so much more space, her food and water bowls, and a comfy place to rest. Ugh. When we got back, the water was running, the towels were shredded, there was broken glass everywhere, and my bamboo plants were eaten. She had trashed the bathroom.

Six months later we are doing great. Shadow is truly a member of the family. She hops in the minivan to go with me to drop the kids off at school and pick them up. She has a cozy dog bed that alternates between our bedrooms and the kids’ rooms, and the crate is gone forever. She won the battle, but we are all enjoying our new family dynamic.

Having a new dog reminds me a lot of having kids because BK (before kids) my husband and I had very firm beliefs about how the experience would go. We knew our children would be well-behaved, we would follow all the child rearing books about how to avoid common pitfalls and, in a linear fashion, raise wonderful people. We would let our kids cry it out, they would sleep through the night, and they would eat nutritious meals each day. They would be polite, and of course, gifted. Before long, with both the kids and the dog, we realized life was messier than we had anticipated. Our plans didn’t hold up in the face of day to day reality. We gave in on the issues we once thought were biggies and stubbornly dug in our heels on trivial matters. We’ve been disillusioned and disappointed and at other times delighted. With kids and with the dog, life is messier, but richer than we anticipated.

See you later. Shadow and I have to go pick up the kids now.