Friday, December 1, 2017

Toddler to Teen

I think I need an 8 year old.

Toddlers want to help All. The. Time. Every morning Andrew "unloads" the dishwasher. Of course he goes straight for the knives, buddies up to the pizza cutter, and sneezes on the Tupperware. His help is adorable, slower than cooling magma, and kind of gross. God forbid I forget to run the washer the night before. He does NOT understand why I do not want him to deliver slimy dishes to the cabinets. Of course he will also sit in a poop diaper, so I'm guessing cleanliness is not his #1 priority.

Big Sister considers household drudgery beneath her, certainly not worth leaving the comfort of her bed and Netflix. When forced to assist, she looks around the kitchen as if uninformed as to where we keep the drinking glasses. You would never guess she used to beg to clean the toilets.

Other chores? Sheer joy for a little one. I got Andrew a miniature Swiffer for free at a yard sale. It will be his "big" Christmas present. If I gave Big Sis a Swiffer, I think she'd call CPS. Her Christmas list includes cropped tops, oversized sweaters and expensive makeup sets with names like Sex and Pervy. On this ambitious list, items 1-16 totaled more than the cost of my wedding dress.

I told her how our family used to do the 3 present rule-- after all that's how many gifts Baby Jesus got. She scoffed and pitied her former ignorant, compliant little self.

Truly, an 8 year old would be perfect.

He might not be as eager as a toddler to do chores, but quality control would be less of an issue, and I could get some good work out of him before the teen years.

At least that's what I think. Check back in with me in 6 years and we'll see if Andrew's enthusiasm for helping has waned. I hope not, because Mom and Dad aren't getting any younger.

In the mean-time, I wonder how long it will take Big Sis to clue in that she can train Andrew to deliver a chilled La Croix and Cheez-its right to her bed, a germy smile on his face.


Anonymous said...

Your posts are very entertaining, chuckled my way through this one. The teens do come out the other side tho - my (almost 20) actually see what needs doing and do it without asking and also thank me for the things I do! Happy day! Mandy x

Susie said...

Oh please hug , kiss and squeeze that germy little knife grabbing boy....he is growing before your very eyes honey. Heaven forbid a teen should lift their hand to do anything but put food in their mouths. LOL. I have always teased that I had 4 dishwashers and none of them worked, they were Angie, Kathy, Liz, and Karen. LOL. Blessings to you sweet mommy, xoxo, Susie

Gigi said...

Hahahaha! I remember having a cute and germy, little helper!

Karen L. said...

Haha you've summed up the two age phases quite well, especially the teen girl. My daughter is now 43 and we both laugh about how self-centered those teen years were for her. Now we're good friends. :)

Steph said...

Your line cracked me up: "she looks around the kitchen as if uninformed as to where we keep the drinking glasses" Unfortunately, it is the same at my house with my teen daughters:)
Thanks for writing,

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Sweet post Anna. Have a Very Merry Christmas!

Anonymous said...

You could borrow my 8 year old, but maybe you won't want to--she thinks she's a teenager. : )

You are hilarious--Sex, Pervy, sitting in poop.


kristine said...

Lol! I have an 8 yo son, and I have to agree that I love this age! My friend has an 8 yo daughter and it's a different story! 😂