Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Power of Words

Last week I got three very nasty comments from an anonymous commenter who attacked my character big-time. I've taken them down because I don't want to get in a peeing match here, and because they made my sister cry. Peeing matches are never worth it. I will say the commenter called me hurtful names, by far the kindest of which was "glutton."

So last night I found myself eating an enormous bowl of ice cream and chasing it down with Oreos. I don't even really like Oreos. I had been eating non-stop all day, but when I put Margaret to bed I went back to the kitchen looking for something, anything, that would fill me up. "What's going on? Am I getting my period?" I wondered. Nope.

And then it dawned on me. The words, which I tried not to let sink in, were somehow getting inside me. I had been called a glutton, which at first seemed utterly laughable, but now I was acting like one. I think she meant it in a figurative sense, but try telling that to a stomach full of Twizzlers. And glutton was by far the most innocuous thing she had said about me. What about the others? Were those hateful words seeping into me, making me doubt my worth, as the commenter hoped?

Maybe.

It made me think about words.

And how when a teenage boy carelessly labels a girl a slut on Facebook or through the rumor mill, the girl starts to see "slut" when she looks at herself in the mirror. "Why not act like one," she wonders,  "if everyone already thinks I am one anyway?" What about other words?

Lazy. Stupid. Ugly. Despised. Unreliable. Incompetent. Worthless.

What about Bad Mother? (Sometimes we call ourselves names, too.)

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." Martin Luther King, jr.

I don't have much to write today, but I want to leave you with a few words to put in your pocket and pull out when you need them:

Beloved. Beautiful. Smart. Worthy. Wonderfully Made. Cherished. Capable. Kind.

 


209 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 209 of 209
Anonymous said...

I have been visiting your blog off and on since I heard about Jack. I think you are entitled to do whatever you want..feel whatever you want..say whatever you want to help ease the pain. It is your blog...the reader who wrote whatever she/he wrote has a choice to not read or read it. I know I know..she also has a right to post or not post.......but ....al I can say is that she must be in a real bad place to think she has the right to call you names or say anything unkind. We all grieve in our own way....I have been grieving since 1988 for someone close to me that has passed. You never ever get over it..but you deal and life does go on.
I hope you don't ever take anything negative said on your blog too personal. I know it is hard...but that person doesn't know you....she doesn't know how much you have helped others by writing this blog. Ok..I have rambled...but it just pisses me off when someone thinks they can write negative things about another when they have the choice not to read..not to respond. Jack on...Jack on..that is why we are here. A HUGE SUPPORTER OF YOURS! M.

Mandy said...

I have just read this post and am horrified that you have had to endure this. My words for you are: inspiration; beauty; truth; healing and light. All those things you have bought to my life.

Peace be with you.
Mandy

Momma Holmes said...

I know I'm a week late, but here are some words for you...

Fabulous. Inspirational. Real. Warm. Soothing. Comforting. Beautiful.

Take those words and stuff them inside.

LISA A said...

I haven't checked in on you in awhile but just wanted to say that those words were really not directed at you. People usually call others what they feel themselves. Hopefully some light will enter her life soon. Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Anna honey, I am so proud of you....you know how I can pull out my "redneck girl" when hurtful words come. The truth is you are graceful, wicked smart, incredibly beautiful and PATIENT beyond belief.....If you are a glutton then I am the "glutton queen"....Cheers to bacon, Krispy Kreme, and friends of Melody Lane....all my love, Aleta

Kate said...

trolls. Not sure love or light can do the trick. I'll make my best effort though because I love reading your words

MaryBeth said...

I do NOT like it when people who are cowards say mean things to anybody. At least sign your name if you are going to insult someone!
Anna, you and your blog are wonderful! Are you perfect? No. If you were I wouldn't love reading your blog so much! Keep it real and keep it coming!

Jules said...

I wish that people would keep their ugly words to themselves. This has been a week of ugly words around me & it hurts. You are a mom who hurting from a loss that most of us can't even come close to understanding. You are a mom who is loving your daughter each day as she misses her brother. You are a loving wife. You should remember the loving words that we all see in you - mother, kindness, love, heartfelt, passion

Anonymous said...

You have uplifted me with your words! I am so sorry someone hurt you, thanks for turning your pain to good, and beauty. I needed to be reminded not to listen to belittleing words, especially when they come from me You are a treasure, blessing and a wonderful mother and person.

«Oldest ‹Older   201 – 209 of 209   Newer› Newest»