Tuesday, June 17, 2008

When You're Climbing Up a Ladder...


I’ve been feeling pretty bad that we haven’t taught Molly how to tie her shoes yet. She keeps asking, and I keep saying, “We’ll do it in the summer when there’s more time.” Back in the day, a rising 2nd grader couldn’t get away with not tying shoes. I was the last kindergartner in my class to learn, and I didn’t want it to be public knowledge, so my dear friend Yvette secretly tied them for me for the first half of the year. In an age of Crocs and slip-on sneakers, however, shoe tying is getting later and later. At least at our house.

Well, you can’t say Tom and I haven’t taught the kids SOMETHING, because over the weekend, we added greatly to their cultural literacy. We were at an amusement park for the weekend and I was having stomach distress. Perhaps it was the two days in a row of my favorite fast food restaurant, Taco Bell, or one too many spinning rides, but by late afternoon, I was incapacitated.

From the other side of the bathroom door in our hotel room, I heard Tom start to sing, “When you’re climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter, Diarrhea, bomp, bomp, bomp, Diarrhea.” So much for sympathy. I started cracking up and countered with, “When you’re lying in your bed, and you feel something spread, Diarrhea, bomp, bomp, bomp.” Since Tom grew up overseas, and missed some American culture, I didn’t know we both had derived so much pleasure from this catchy adolescent tune.

The kids stared at us in disbelief. Were these really their parents? The ones who let them watch only PBS until age 7? Who say “toot” instead of “fart.” Who refer to the backside as a bottom or, possibly, a rear? More importantly, was there more to this song?


Within moments we shared all the verses we could remember and added a few more:

“When you’re swimming in the pool and you feel something cool, Diarrhea…”

“When you’re sliding into 3rd and you feel a big wet turd, Diarrhea….”

“When you’re sitting there at school and you feel like a fool, Diarrhea…”

“When you’re on the monorail and you leave a squishy trail, Diarrhea…”

You get the picture. Sorry. Have a great day.

10 comments:

Vanessa said...

I love reading your blog - it always makes me laugh and wish we lived so much closer!

Kristen said...

Can't wait to share this new tune with my little Anna! ;)

Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

Anonymous said...

Directamente en el objetivo http://nuevascarreras.com/cialis/ cialis o viagra cual es mejor Mi dispiace, ma, a mio parere, si sbaglia. Sono sicuro. Scrivere a me in PM, parlare. comprar cialis original hehxpnrzel [url=http://www.mister-wong.es/user/COMPRARCIALIS/comprar-viagra/]comprar viagra[/url]

Anonymous said...

als auch allen, und die Varianten? viagra online rezept levitra wirkung [url=http//t7-isis.org]viagra online[/url]

Anonymous said...

la respuesta Competente, de una manera seductora... http://nuevascarreras.com/category/cialis-generico/ cialis 20 A mio parere, si sono errati. Io propongo di discuterne. [url=http://nuevascarreras.com/ ]cialis y alcohol [/url]

Anonymous said...

En esto algo es la idea bueno, mantengo. [url=http://csalamanca.com/tag/sin-receta/ ]viagra sin receta madrid [/url] Ud la persona talentosa http://csalamanca.com/tag/comprar-viagra/ viagra generico en espana

Anonymous said...

hippy personals [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]baby boomer dating site[/url] meet singles http://loveepicentre.com/ totally free online dating

Anonymous said...

sony laptop [url=http://www.hqlaptopbatteries.com/-233x-laptopbatterymodel1226.html]hp laptop[/url] High quality discount laptop battery store http://www.hqlaptopbatteries.com/battery-233lc-batterytype1.html LG Laptop
compare laptops [url=http://www.hqlaptopbatteries.com/-m6-ez6711-laptopbatterymodel1660.html]Samsung laptop battery[/url] original laptop batteries http://www.hqlaptopbatteries.com/-445cdx-laptopbatterymodel296.html best laptops
Alienware Laptop [url=http://www.hqlaptopbatteries.com/-j62-laptopbatterymodel1929.html]compare prices laptop batteries[/url] universal laptop battery http://www.hqlaptopbatteries.com/-1200-s122-laptopbatterymodel313.html IBM laptop battery

Anonymous said...

custom auto audio systems [url=http://www.cardvdplanet.com/buy-cheap-car-dvd1.html]aams auto audio mastering system[/url] auto audio advice http://www.cardvdplanet.com/7-inch-car-dvd-with-touch--discount-price102.html robb report volvo car audio awards
d mercedes benz reviews auto extended warranty car audio and [url=http://www.cardvdplanet.com/768t-is-multi-function-portable-dvd-rotation--discount-price97.html]car audio subwoofers auto cheap insurance[/url] auto audio systems http://www.cardvdplanet.com/car-dvd-player-2-din-5-8-inch-tft-touch--discount-price16.html auto dvd player portable
oem car audio ford taurus [url=http://www.cardvdplanet.com/car-radio-with-usb-sd-mmc-card-discount-price115.html]audiovox auto dvd[/url] compatible wireless headphones for all auto dvd systems http://www.cardvdplanet.com/buy-cheap-car-dvd2.html car audio for subaru legacy