Sunday, January 23, 2011

Wouldn't a Trip to Disneyworld Do?

So we were driving to a museum yesterday (I know, bonus parenting points!) with the whole family in the car. On the way out of the driveway, we stopped at the mailbox. When I was passing directly in front of the car, Tom took his foot off the brake and put it in park. The car lurched forward and gave my leg a little brush. The look I gave back shot daggers through the windshield.

A few moments later, Jake says, "Why don't you two get divorced?"

My heart sank, wondering whether Mom had been just a little too mean lately. Perhaps the evil glare I gave Tom when he nearly ran me over, had made him think, well, that the spark had died. Perhaps he wondered whether Dad was trying to do me in.

I mean, we've been trying to kiss and hug a bit in front of the kids, because they've asked if we "Ever Make Out," but I guess we haven't done a good job making marriage seem appealing.

Silence. Then I asked him what he meant.

He replied, "I just want us to have something new and exciting happen in our lives. You didn't have another baby, and that would have been exciting. Besides, when parents get divorced they buy you lots of stuff because they feel guilty."

Sheesh.

19 comments:

Stimey said...

Ha ha ha ha ha! That's awesome. Watch out for that kid.

Kristina P. said...

Yeah! Kids really need to buck up when their parents get divorced. It's awesome!

Brenda Susan said...
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Brenda Susan said...

Good thing you asked what he meant by that, otherwise you'd be wondering how you "ruined" him somehow!

You'd think going to an museum would be more exciting than a divorce! Ha!

EatPlayLove said...

Ouch! My 4yo always says, Eww gross when my husband hugs me or gives me a kiss. Kids are pretty funny.

Chris said...

I followed your entire thought process! We often underestimate ourselves as parents... I think... Funny story!

mgheadley said...

Uuugh!! I think each of my girls had a similar question at some point. In fact, I remember one of them asked "WHEN are you and dad going to get divorced?" As if they had begun to believe that divorce was just another nature phase of marriage.

And they've each suffered divorce envy... it was very brief, though, as it was all I could do to hold back the tears as I explained that
A) the LOTS-of-stuff phase was very brief, ended as soon as the lawyer bills came, and was followed up by the learn-to-expect-NO-stuff phase
B) I would have gladly traded all the stuff I owned to have my family back

I hope my children will never have to experience a divorce to learn how precious a good marriage is.

mgheadley said...
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Masala Chica said...

Oh I love that our children are pushing us in our already stressful marriages to divorce for need of more material things. I am sure Shay will be campaigning for John and I to split sooner than I know . . .

Nichole@40daysof said...

This reminds me of a talk I had with my niece a couple of years ago. I am a child of divorce. She was complaining about all the perks her best friend was getting as a result of her parent's divorce and my niece was feeling like her life sucked. I explained to her that:
1) She is the lucky one because when she goes to sleep at night her whole family is the house together and she has a feeling of security that her friend doesn't have.
2) She doesn't have to pick who to spend important days with. She can spend all her important days with her entire family without guilt or worrying if her parents will fight with each other or cause a stressful atmosphere.
3) Her parents can spend their time concentrating on her and her activities and not on finding themselves a new mate.

Surprisingly, she said it was one of the best serious conversations she had ever had with an adult. Ten points for Aunt Nichole!

Anonymous said...

Wow. I think Jake has been reading too many Judy Blume novels. :)

jbhat

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I used to think about that...and the kids who had Christmas AND Hanukkah thrown into the mix. All those gifts...

What materialistic little bastards we all are as kids.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

THAT is hilarious. I'd try so hard to think of some smart alec remark, like, "Well if you want, we can arrange something where you go live at your grandparent's house every other weekend of the month, but you won't be getting any extra wii games out of the deal." or some crap like that! ha ha

for a different kind of girl said...

I remember asking my parents that question, but I was nearly 30 at that point. By that age, of course, no double gifting!

anymommy said...

It's hard to fight his logic, but go with the Disney thing!

Heidi said...

This is something my kids would say or will say one day. Too funny.

Elisa @ What the Vita said...

(Anna's) kids say the darnest things! These two kids of yours are smart as a whip, I hope my kids turn out half as smart and thoughtful as yours are!

purejoy said...

wow… still processing all of that. as if divorce is such a normal progression in a marriage. wow.
your kids really are hilarious.
and your husband? sheesh. not really getting putting the car in park, really. but your glare? i totally get that because trying to get four people in a car to go anywhere is stressfull and he's lucky you didn't grab him out of the car and punch him!

Annie said...

The other day I realized we didn't have many "almost a tragedy" stories from our days when the kids were little. There are noticeable differences in the entertainment value of childhood stories when the mom is SOOO careful that nothing near to dangerous happens much.

Actually, I just realized all those funny stories were about my less than graceful moments when I almost offed myself in front of my loving family... and yeah... they laugh.