Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Pillow Talk



My daughter whispered in my ear tonight that she loves hugging her teacher because she's, well, "soft right there" (pokes Mom swiftly in the boob).

This made me smile because it made me think a bit about hugging. You see, my mother was rather generously endowed in the breast area, and her ample bosom made for some really great hugging. You kind of eased into the hug, ran the risk of disappearing for a while, and hung on as if clinging to a squishy life raft of goodness

I remember as a kid wondering how I'd do as a mom. I wasn't thinking about nurture or discipline, and cup size was far, far from my mind. I was primarily concerned with the arenas of fruit and vegetable cutting. I admired my mom's deft skill with a paring knife. I wondered, would I be able to carve perfect v's in apple slices to rid them of their seeds? And making carrot sticks? That seemed way too hard. Fortunately, I've mastered the apple...and the carrot sticks? Well, bagged baby carrots came along just in the nick of time.

But what about hugging? The years I was breastfeeding were the only time I had "Oh my goodness they are so big I cannot see my feet!" boobs. For the babies they were a means to a meal, and to Tom they were pretty much off limits. "These are WORKING boobs-- back off!" Before and since, I've had more of a marble in a tube sock thing going on.

So, do I feel like a mom when I hug? Of course I do, because I am one, even if my hugs may not have the same near-suffocating quality my mom's did. And moms come in all shapes in sizes from AAA cups to FFF. Some moms do not have any breasts anymore, and they are no less motherly for it. We are THE mom our kids are supposed to have. I like to tell my kids what my mom told me, particularly when I'd gripe about something, "I'm the best mom you'll ever have."

But back to hugging: my friend Kris told me, just last week, "Anna, hugging your mom was like hugging a pillow. Hugging my mom was like hugging a board." I'd like to think that wasn't all about size, but more about her willingness to be huggy in the first place. And I hope I've got that. What my hugs might lack in bosom-itude, I make up with an extra squeeze, a grunt (umph!), or a pat on the back.

And during this time of rampant New Year's Resolutions, if you are worried about a little extra padding here or there, just remember the joy that softness can bring with a cozy squeeze or a squishy lap to sit on (I've definitely got one of those!).

For as we said in my house growing up, "Men are nice, but there's NOTHING like hugging a WOMAN!!"

20 comments:

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Oh, I love this post. It totally makes me smile.

And I'm jealous that you are in so many family pictures! Getting my husband to take a picture of me & the kids is an exercise in testing his patience!!!

Brenda Susan said...

Ha! "marble in a tube sock" ! Ha! I totally relate to that statement. I used to call mine 1/4 cup water in a baggie. I like your description better! Thanx!
Don't you love that out of your lovely post I center on that one thing?!

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e) said...

My mom was a size 20 when my son was little. I was a 4.

He told me once that Gramma was better to hug because I had too many bones.

Christy said...

Love, love, love this post. :)

Heidi said...

Sweet post! My Oma was someone I loved hugging. She was short and round and soft. She could rub my back for ages too. Ah, memories...

Kate Coveny Hood said...

My Dad never wanted my mother to lose weight (even though she wanted it) because he said he liked her "soft." Chris is kind of the same way and would rather me be a little bit heavy than a little bit skinny.

I think this goes to show that the kids are the honest ones about what feels better. BUT I do agree with your point, that your own mom is probably the gold standard for good hugs.

Kate Lewis said...

I proudly lead the lowercase B huggers who grunt AND pat with the hugs and smack with the kisses! What a great post. Smiled all the way through.

Sara said...

"marble in a tube sock"
Thank you Anna...I really needed that laugh today!

Jill said...

There IS nothing like hugging a woman ... in fact, I really like a good hugger and can't stand when people don't go in for the big squeeze.

Can't wait to squeeze you - soon enough!!

And I totally agree with your munchkin. :)

dearheart said...

As a fellow marble girl, perhaps our hugs can be considered (personal) airline pillows. I often wish I had one when flying....

Anonymous said...

My mom has 3 daughters who are not well-endowed (which is fine with me), but I've always been curious about why we didn't receive the huge boobs gene that she has been blessed/perhaps burdened with. But she definitely passed on the saddlebags, sigh.

jbhat

K A B L O O E Y said...

I think it's the love that makes the hug.

K A B L O O E Y said...

OK -- unrelated but weird: my word verifications were "fence" and now "catsedog."

Ellen Dunaway said...

I tend to be "ample" all over. I'll never forgot my youngest son hugging me when he was about 4. A look of sweet contentment spread over his face and he said, "Mommy, you're a pillow." A few seconds later he said, "You're a pillow AND a blanket". I took it as a high compliment. My son is now 17 and I miss those days of him sitting on my lap and snuggilng w/me. The same son once tried to put his arms around my waist and told me I was "as big as Barney". I didn't get nearly the same warm, fuzzy feeling from that comment.

Graceful said...

I love that I laugh every time I come here. Man you are a cup of good cheer. As for the boobs, size A here...definitively un-squishy. But my oldest still calls me the snuggliest mommy -- maybe he's hugging my butt?

Mrs4444 said...

This is really beautiful--I love it and will be linking to it a week from today :) thanks so much.

noexcuses said...

Hi! I came over from Mrs4444 Saturday Samling. What a wonderful post! It made me proud to be a squishy hugger!

Hyacynth said...

Such loving thoughts you've shared ... also, my boobs are working boobs right now, too. So I totally laughed out loud when I read that. I'll have to actually say that aloud. ;)

lisleman said...

interesting perspective on hugging. The dumb "rugged manly" thing of only shaking hands just fails to convey enough emotion. Kisses on the cheeks are good too. I don't know why our culture got so messed up in the area of showing emotion. My mom was big and of course all the kids loved her size.

Emily said...

Never thought about this before but lovely post! From a 34 D whose breast became smaller AFTER she had her baby!