Sunday, May 23, 2010

My Cup is Half Empty

So today at church a friend gave me $10 she owed me. I wanted to donate it to our Well Project. Since I was wearing a dress and didn't have any pockets, I decided to do what any classy, well-bred woman in my family would do-- tuck it in my bra.

My late mom was a buxom beauty. She was head cheerleader and Homecoming queen in the 1950's when the uniforms were modest,the bras pointy, and the lipstick red.

I remember a trip into Washington DC with cousins when I was about 10. Mom played tour guide and was in charge of all the important stuff. I remember watching in horror as she pulled 11 metro tickets, the house keys and possibly a small map of the city out of her ample cleavage, or as she called it, her "bosom."

I've never been built like my mom, except perhaps when I was nursing and could no longer see my feet over my boobs, but I have been able to carry my own in curves department.

Things have changed, I guess. When I went searching for that $10 bill later, I realized it had snuck right out of the bra, headed south, and made its way right out of my dress. Boo. I told Molly and she said, "I saw a guy pick a folded ten dollar bill off the floor at church and look around to see if anyone had lost it."

Poor guy, poor me.

Thinking I could keep that bill held securely in my bra was akin to convincing myself I could keep jello from running through a sieve.

Oh well. Here's to a Monday where your cup is MORE than half full!

16 comments:

purejoy said...

i'm hoping that the man who found the ten bucks used it to bless someone else. or perhaps he was blessed by an unexpected windfall. of course, that doesn't get the people in africa drinking water any sooner, but i'm trying to look at the situation through a cup half full!!

Shawn said...

heh, heh....I now have that bosom that you are talking about! And I used to be a double A! Thanks to menopause....

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Oh Anna, I say this with all due respect:
I am so relieved you did not include a picture with this post.

And, I'm happy to say that the thing that would keep a $10 bill in my bra would not be a bosom, but rather the pint or so of sweat from haulin those nursing beauties around all day long. Especially in Texas. Especially in the summer. Yuck.

Brenda Susan said...

Ha! Very funny post! I have so little upstairs that i couldn't even hold a phonebook in there!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I wouldn't even try... I've lost money like that before.

vawriter said...

So let that be a lesson to us all:
If the money is WARM, drop it!

Heehee! Anna, I want to see your mom's cheerleading picture!

I also had a mother who was "endowed". I kept waiting...and waiting...to blossom like that. Nope.

Didn't you just love it when boyfriends ccold not seem to pry their eyeballs away from the sight of all that cleavage?

I still remember hearing a lifeguard gasp when Mom bent over.

Sokphal said...

My "cup" has been half empty for a while. Thank goodness for push-up bras. :)

Deidra said...

Hilarious! Pointy bras! Jell-o through a sieve! What a happy start to my Monday where the cups around here are always half full!

Nichole@40daysof said...

So sorry! Might be time for a bra fitting. :)

L said...

My cup runneth over.

TwoWishes Tara said...

Clearly you were meant to write this post today, so that I could read it, then come across the following product and SOLVE your problem forevermore. (You're welcome.)

http://jezebel.com/5546695/cleavage-caddy-keeps-those-old-lipsticks-snug-between-your-boobs

BeeHive said...

Ha, I wish I could even ponder the possibility of holding anything in my bosom, or lack thereof.

Glennon said...

another amazing post title. it's a gift.

cleavage caddy! going to do my own "research" now.

love!

Heidi said...

Ha! That would totally happen to me.

K A B L O O E Y said...

Mine did that too. Did you mom keep tissues in her sleeve? Did she always have one of those little fold up plastic rain bonnets in her purse? The ones that fit in the little plastic hinge-top basket? Just asking...

Dee said...

I like to tuck my money into my ample busom when walk to Starbucks, but I am kind enough to remove said money prior to purchase! My "ainee" called them her purse. She even had room for Sucrets....