Sunday, April 4, 2010

"I'm Doing it Because I Want to and NOT Because You Told Me To"

So we just got back from a fantastic trip to my sister's house. And by fantastic I mean that no one got hurt on the trampoline, everyone bonded and slept well, and I wasn't too much of a brat. Feel free to substitute another b word of your choice if brat is not to your liking.

As has been my lifetime practice of being nicer to complete strangers than my own flesh and blood, especially when I feel "safe" with them, I continue to be a bit of a nightmare when unleashed upon my family. For those of you who have pitied me for the way my daughter Molly unloads on me, I must emphasize here that it is payback to the nth degree.

Anyway, my sister and I had a great time, greatly aided by the fact that she is a yoga instructor, and attending her Holy Yoga (Christian yoga) class kept me calm and grounded for the most part. I got snipe-y a few times about the kids but kept my stuff together pretty well until right before we left.

After Easter services we went to Shoney's buffet. I was seriously put out when my brother-in-law announced to the waitress-- with great flourish-- "We'll all have the buffet," and the waitress disappeared, taking any chance I had of perusing a menu with her.

I realize you, like my relations, may enjoy buffets. I, however, had something else in mind. A crispy asian chicken salad, perhaps? A chicken caesar wrap? I don't even know what Shoney's offers, but I just wanted the chance to choose for myself. When I go to a restaurant buffet I tend to overeat stuff I don't really like in the first place.

So I guess you can lead Anna to the buffet, but you can't make her eat. I got screechy and weird in front of my bro-in-law as I picked dramatically at my salad and biscuit. Sure I went back later for grits and french toast sticks, but that's beside the point.

I think my tantrum was my way of saying I was ready to be back on my turf, with my own schedule, making my own choices. Old lady much?

So, L, if you are reading this, thanks for having us. The kids and I are still talking about how much fun we had. Thanks for your hospitality and for loving me DESPITE me. I miss you already.

And as far as getting the chance to practice being nicer to those I love? Tom's sister, brother-in-law, and 5 kids will roll into town on Wednesday. You read that correctly.

Pray for us all.



We are over $1300 for the Well Project, but we only have 2 months left to reach $5,000. Here's the donation page.

17 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Shoneys! They all went out of business around here. :(

Glad you had a good time!

K A B L O O E Y said...

I completely relate to this post, well except for the Christian yoga and Shoney's parts. But I definitely relate to the regressing into my less-than-lovable childhood self when that family dynamic kicks in. And you seem so kind and well... well-balanced to me -- it actually makes me feel there's hope for myself. So thanks for being honest and posting.

Tracie said...

I have control issues and don't take kindly to someone making choices for me.

Also, I worked at Shoney's in college. My manager used to scold me by saying "Idle hands are The Devil's work and we don't want The Devil in Shoney's." I don't go there much anymore.

Brenda Susan said...

Ha! Sounds like you may have barely passed the family test & will get a do-over this week! Good luck! Hope you have a fun time without too much screeching! Ha!

Quilting in My Pyjamas said...

Keeping it real as always.

Glad you enjoyed your time away!

I get cranky after about 4 days out of my own fishbowl. I hear your pain sister.

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

I smell some good bloggy material coming this week, thanks to the impending family visit!!

Glennon said...

Anna,

Can you give me some more info on the Christian Yoga? It sounds quite exciting to me.

Glennon said...

Also, Tracie is really funny.

Christy said...

You are NOT a freak! I wouldn't have been able to resist calling the waitress back though and saying, um no actually I'll look at the menu. Thus, pissing off said brother in law I'm sure. But I mean really, is this the 1950s?! I think your seething was totally justified! :)

And yes, thinking of you this Wednesday! Have fun - I'm sure you'll have a good story or two to share with us when they leave!!

Diane said...

AMEN!

Krista Groen said...

Just found your blog...so funny...and I completely get that! Last year my sister in law arranged for me and my fiancee at the time to come stay in their hotel room instead of at his brother's house as planned without consulting us on the matter...I was so annoyed and made a big deal of it too...unfortunately that was the weekend my niece was born so I could have been nicer...Chalk it up to learning experience!

for a different kind of girl said...

My sister and her daughters were here this weekend. There was no buffet, but there was a long, drawn out debate over Dominos pizza. I'm not proud of that, but I am glad for the break now! Here's to your continued strength!

Cynthia said...

Oh my gosh, can't relate. If there's a buffet, I am totally ALL OVER IT!! Especially for breakfast! That said, I would still not want to be ordered for.

(Sorry, M!)

L said...

We miss you!! I said something to said bro-in-law and he had already forgotten any remotely screechy behavior (and therefore will not learn a lesson about making declarations about what we all will, or will not, have to eat at Shoney's). Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

...and for anyone interested in Holy Yoga, check out www.holyyoga.net. Now I am offically a spam-commenter!

Can't wait to hear about your adventures with the other half of your family this week!

vawriter said...

Oh, yes, you are a leeetle sensitive about control issues, hmmmmm? I know what you are talking about. I grew up with an overbearing father who got pouty and mean when crossed, so tended to just let stuff like that go. Now, of course, it spurts out at inappropriate times and slimes unsuspecting, innocent victims, such as The Engineer. I mean, WHY did it take me 30 years to demand my own bag of BUTTERED popcorn at the movies, which I was free to eat WHILE HOT and uncongealed during the previews? (And you should have heard me snap and snarl when said Engineer observed, "It will all be gone before the movie starts." "I don't CARE!" I hissed as he flinched. Next time ask for the menu.

Beatnheart said...

I'm at my worst when it comes to family...The buttons get pushed without even trying...It is a tough one really...For all we know its about some doll she got that I didn't back in 1955...geez..So you are not alone...

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Um - was he paying for your meal? I think there is something incredibly presumptuous deciding what someone else will eat. It would have annoyed me too (and I know this for a fact since my well meaning husband unwittingly does that all the time).