Friday, March 12, 2010

Unhappy Friday

Well hello there!

I was hoping to write something funny and/or insightful today, but it's not going to happen. You see I've done something tres stupide and have gotten myself into a little situation. I'm dying to write about it, if for nothing more than to make each and every one of you feel far superior to me, which would be a nice little "going into the weekend gift" from me to you, but I'll need some time to try to fix things before I share.

So, given that I'm in a major snit, and I can't write about what's really bothering me, I thought I would do a little free association list of some OTHER things that get stuck in my craw. One of which is the expression, "Stuck in my Craw." What the heck does that mean, anyway? Sounds gross, and I'm too afraid to Google it.

When I started blogging, I made a list of things that bugged me.

Here are some additions:

Self Checkout at the supermarket: Why would I want to do someone else's job when I could be doing a quick scan of People and US Weekly instead? And if I am going to do someone else's job, which only happens when I'm pressured to do so, why can't it ever work out right? Why does the disembodied voice NEVER BELIEVE I am putting what I am putting on the conveyer belt? And, if the checker has to come over and help me anyway, then send me to purgatory (the service desk), are we really saving any time or money here?

"Let Go and Let God": Just bugs me. Always has. Always will. Great concept; annoying phrase.

Magazines that encourage us to strengthen our pelvic floor muscles by "stopping the flow of urine midstream." Puh-lease. Telling that to someone who has squeezed out 2 kids is like telling her to go climb Mt. Everest before school pick-up time.

Living In Overcrowded 'Burbs:
I do not appreciate having to get up at 5 am to register kids for swim lessons, or tennis, or preschool. I mean, who wants to be wait-listed for VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL for heaven's sake? That just seems wrong.

Not enough Samoas in a box to satisfy me.

Mouse poop in my can of refried beans. Yep. Happened on Wed.

Providing snacks for every child-related event.

Muddy Paws.

High Pressure Sales Tactics. (more on this next week)

Feeling Foolish (more on this next week)

Tripping on everyone's stuff. Every darn day.

My blue jeans rubbing off on the new car's leather seats.

A 60 lb dog who hangs out ON the kitchen table while I'm at work.

And last but not least:

Wayward pantiliners.


Kristina P. said...

I have to admit, I love the self-checkouts.

Sorry things suck today!

slow panic said...

ugh with the wayward pantiliners and the let go let god phrase AND the snacks. always with the snacks.

Christina said...

Thanks for the rant. I am having one of those days myself. And, your rant made me laugh! Thanks!

Julia @ Hooked on Houses said...

Oh. My. Gosh. This had me laughing out loud. You are too funny! Sorry you're having an unhappy Friday, though. I hate when that happens. Crossing my fingers for you that everything gets sorted and worked out--or whatever needs to happen to make things happy again. Hang in there!

Lynn Kellan said...

May I add... "doing your taxes on a crappy rainy day with bored kids interrupting you every 5 seconds."

Sending a sympathetic hug. I hope your unhappy situation works out quickly! :)

Caroline @ The Feminist Housewife said...

I'm so with you...on all of those.

Especially the pantyliners. Seriously, I'm already moody? Do I really need a wedgie that could end disastrously?

Rebecca said...

OMG, what a great list. I'm in one of the neighborhoods you described. I had to put kids on several waiting lists for preschool. It's beyond ridiculous! I have to beg these places to pay them an unreasonably large amount of money to teach my children a few things (hopefully!).

And self check out? An oxymoron as long as I'm concerned.

I really hope things work out and that you're not too hard on yourself!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Oh no! I love the last one. I'm curious though - what happened...

Pamela said...

Oh Anna - I'm sorry you're having a crappy day. Love you!

Ann Imig said...

In agreement--except I found a RAT TAIL in a bag of tortilla chips once.

Still GAGGAGGAG thinking about it.

Beatnheart said...

stick in one's craw means according to Shorter Oxford Dictionary means something that is unacceptable. A craw is a birds gullet. Birds don't have teeth. Love your list..Right on!

Shay said...

I'm sorry to hear you've got yourself in a pickle but I'll be interested to hear how you get yourself out of it. I'm sure it will make for a laughter filled blog post.

It's probably not as bad as you're thinking either.

Self checkout has just started here and people avoid it in droves. I dont know anyone who voluntarily uses it. If you want me to use it - give me 10% off my groceries.

And I found a piece of plastic in a pasty once, and a dead MOTH in a pack of lollies. Neither company gave a darn. Yuk!

Have a peaceful weekend Anna.

Christy said...

Oh no, you poor thing. Totally opposite to my day - argh! That last one is just the pits. Ugh. And I'm sure you'll be able to work out the awkward situation - you have good intentions, at least! And I admit, I LOVE the self checkouts and wish our Wegmans had them! Here's hoping your Saturday and Sunday are better than today!

Julia said...

Whatever you couldn't be as bad as the woman in Florida who caused a wreck because she was shaving her privates while driving. That makes all of us
seem more sane and nicer. Right?

I love your list and agree with all of it. Thanks for putting it all into words for us.

Julia said...

Whatever you couldn't be as bad as the woman in Florida who caused a wreck because she was shaving her privates while driving. That makes all of us
seem more sane and nicer. Right?

I love your list and agree with all of it. Thanks for putting it all into words for us.

Brenda Susan said...

Dang you are so funny! I agree on all of those annoying things, especially the self-checkout thingy! And I am so very glad to be done providing snax for soccer, school, church clubs, etc.!!!

Unknown said...

Can't wait to hear "the rest of the story". This made me laugh out loud and of course I had to go read your other list. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've finally found another person who doesn't like Precious Moments! I call them the kids with a thyroid problem.

Oona Johnson said...

It makes me a little nervous to know that something so bad happened that YOU can't blog about it... What could it be? You killed your husband and hid his body in your upright freezer? lol

Oona Johnson said...

Oh, and the mouse poop? Sounds to me like a lawsuit... blurgh...

dearheart said...

LOL, per usual. I think the one that really got me was "stop the flow of urine midstream." I think I'm always trying to do that, just to keep myself dry.

Debbie said...

Sorry that you're having problems...but if it's any consellation you made my day by making me laugh!!!!!

Masala Chica said...

Anna! OMG... How many ways do I love thee?



vawriter said...

Oh, my, Miz Pyjamas, you did give me a laugh! You see, the only US pasties are nipple covers, worn for the barest minimum of modesty! And they ARE plastic!

I seem to remember reading that pasty is a meat pie. though. Am I right?

Anna,the wayward pantiliner is funny! If you need it for the kegel reason, though, you should look into surgery. Victoria's real secret is that she needs a pantyliner at all times.

Gretchen said...

Anna you are too funny. I hope this friday is better than the last.

And, on snacks, I agree. I vote that you should stand up! and say NO MORE SNACKS! KIDS IN CHINA DON'T GET SNACKS!!! Either that or send water and exactly 3 wheat thins for each child. Hey, it's a healthy snack and drink, right?

hee hee. I'm evil.