Feeling Louse-y

I stood in the shower and called to Tom, “Do you want to do it in here or somewhere else?” With a strange look on his face, he said, “How about the kitchen?”

I’d like to say we were having a romantic moment, and if I think about it, what we did was indeed intimate, but it is probably not what you’re thinking. However, I must say having a spouse de-louse your head definitely brings you closer together.

I was paranoid on our trip to NYC that we’d bring home bedbugs. I didn’t allow anyone to put luggage on the floor or beds, and I even pulled back the sheets to take a look—nothing.

I was completely unprepared, however, to pick up lice in my own home state. For the record, if anyone from the kids’ school is reading this: I am the one who had lice. Please do not treat my kids like pariahs when school starts. I did treat Molly for lice anyway, because she was in close contact w/ the vector like I was, but so far, so good.

It’s pretty funny that I’m the one who got it, b/c as an elementary kid I was obsessed w/ lice. When we’d all line up for our lice checks, I held my breath, knowing for sure that the school nurse would find something. When she didn’t, I wasn’t satisfied, and would make my mom check me again and again. After about 5 years of this, she refused to check me any more. “ANNA, YOU DO NOT HAVE LICE!”

I guess it was just my time. I have done 30 loads of laundry and wonder if my efforts have been successful. The entire louse count at our house thus far has been ONE and I pray that’s the way it stays. My hair is brittle and unbrushed. No conditioner for at least 7 days! I’ve thrown away my brushes and hesitate to buy new ones in case the pestilence returns.

Tom and I have grown closer as he conducts the nightly inspection. I mean, you can’t watch tv or read blogs while your hubby is checking you for lice. We’ve talked about the beginning of school, our crazy fall schedules and every few moments he comments on my flaky scalp. He keeps calling it dandruff, but for the record I’d like to state that my scalp has recently undergone harsh chemical treatment for de-lousing and what he is seeing might just be a sign of an eensy bit of stress.