Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Splotch of Gray

Okay, it's time to discuss the outcome of Tom's coloring my hair last night.

The results were mixed.

On the one hand, it was fun. We laughed a lot and it was a very intimate act. I mean, I don't remember feeling that close to him since, well you know... he picked the nits out of my hair .

On the other hand, he missed a few (big!) spots. His advice to me upon inspection, "Well, it looks like you'll have to do a comb over."

Certainly not words I thought I'd hear in my lifetime.

And in less than 2 weeks I'll be at a big blogging convention, which kind of sort of seems like the closest I've been to a prom since 1987. And while I won't have a date trying to deflower me in the back of his grandfather's Town Car, I will have some pretty pressure-filled moments as I try to hang with the big guys (er, girls).

I mean, I don't know half of the hip bloggy jargon and my real goal is to drink wine with people I have admired from afar rather than trying to do anything fancy to my blog.

I have some other issues, in addition to the comb over, that will not be working in my favor at this convention:

1. 5 lb summer weight gain. This may be as a result of canceling our pool membership, thus alleviating any pressure I've felt to fit into a swimsuit.

2. Going straight from my husband's family reunion in CT to the convention. Let me paint a little picture for you: 18 relatives, 1 week, 1 house. By the time I get to NYC I may very well have lost my mind.

And at my in-laws I think we may have been downgraded from our traditional twin beds. Not that my air mattress under the ping pong table won't be restful, but I have a feeling Psycho Anna will show up early and often. My mental state might not be the best for meeting new people.

3. The anti-humidity hair treatment appears to be wearing off. I fear I'll be like Cinderella at midnight when I turn into a big-haired pumpkin on 5th Avenue. Hello? August? In New York?

4. Due to much stellar planning, I have arranged to be on Day 1 of my period at the convention. This will ensure that I am a zitty, semi-comatose ferret, better suited to curling up with my friends Ben and Jerry in a fetal position than hanging with the cool girls in high heels and halters. Also, on Day 1 I can't drink alcohol without feeling sick, so there's that.

When I try to explain to Tom why I spent hundreds of dollars to watch Lifetime movies by myself in a New York hotel room while everyone else was out having fun, I don't know what I'll say...Nah, after almost 20 years with me, he'll think that sounds about right.

5. Additional 5 lb weight gain. See #4.

So, that's about it.

So if you are in NYC the first weekend in August, please take pity on me and come up and introduce yourself. I promise I won't bite. I mean, that may be what I do when I'm PMS-ing, but you will have just missed it.

Who knows? If you hang out with me, maybe we'll have a celebrity sighting like the last time I hit the big city.


L said...

cracking up!!! (but also basking in the glory of previous splotch-free touching-up) Love you!!

Ellen aka Ellie said...

Pragmatic advice...I mix up the root touch up, use it, save a little bit, and when it's dry, I find those missed places and reapply.

I've also been known to mix up only half and do a touch up and then a week later do another.

My gray is uneven. Right now, my temples are whitening before my eyes, but the crown of my head is still brown. Huh.

Have fun being zitty in the big city!

Gretchen said...

Oh, Anna, I wish I were going to BlogHer so I could meet you in person!!!

But we are going on our summer "vacation" to San Antonio where we'll listen to a time-share speech and get our hotel room for 2 nights for $60 total. Plus we'll get a $40 Amex card. Now, THAT'S how to take a cheap vacation. (Thought I'd send that info your way, in case you were still bummed about not going to Europe. Maybe you could grab a quickie 3-day vacay for you & Tom & the kids.)

anymommy said...

You'll need a weekend in the Hilton after the reunion/in law thing. And yes, oh god yes, on the humidity and how it turns hair into scary, people eating thing.

XO. I can't wait to chat and drink wine. Fun.

Mrs4444 said...

You're a pretty funny lady. I went to BlogHer in Chicago last summer as a newbie, and I can assure you that you will be just fine. I even sat and chatted with The Pioneer Woman like it was nothing (she is just a normal, everyday gal). You're going to have a blast.

But come on--No pictures?! It's pretty hard to sympathize with the hair debacle without them...haha

Shana said...

You are breaking my heart that I am not going to BlogHer. Instead, I will be using my air miles to go to Little Rock, Arkansas to meet my new niece when she is born in the fall. Frankly, I've got a good 18 years to get to know that kid, I should have booked the NY ticket!

Kristina P. said...

No picture?!?!

And I'm not going to BlogHer. :( Have a great time!

Lisa G said...

I know you'll a great time! Remember, if everything were perfect you'd have nothing to blog about...

I can't find my blog said...

You know what? No one will notice a zit, or gray roots, or even what you're wearing. Just tell that PMS who's boss, put on a smile, and you'll do fine!

Debbie said...

I bet you will have so much fun. I am beyond jealous. Darn these college kids for soaking up all my money and me not being able to go!

Heidi said...

I laughed at the Lifetime movie thing. I actually laughed through this entire post. My dream is to have a ridiculously long amount of quiet time wherein I watch movies I've seen before and love. Like they're old friends. That's probably what I would be doing in a hotel room all to myself - that and's NYC after all.

I hope you have a great time. I'm expecting some serious posting on this when you get back. :)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Yeah! I totally can't wait to be roomies! FUN!

Seriously though... It WILL be fun and you won't be...whatever you just said.

It will be great and I'm sure that a nice salon in the city can fix any hair issues that really aren't livable.

I'll bring you a hat.

purejoy said...

oh my stars. you are hilarious. a comb over! how bad could it be??

wish i was going to bogher in nyc. how fun would nyc and a bunch of women be?? sort of like sex in the city. (ish)

jules said...

My Dad always dies my moms hair and I think it's adorable! have fun in NYC. I was there in March and saw Michelle Obama, the girls and a LOT of secret service!

mosey (kim) said...

Flying home from blogher and visiting a few of my new pals. Wish I had met you a little earlier (like, three days earlier) than the very last night right before I stumbled up to my room and passed out. (from exhaustion rather than alcohol consumption)

Your hair looked awesome unlike my rat's nest.

Hope to catch you a little earlier in the weekend next year!