I want to thank you for peeing on my new off-white shag area rug. The way your urea sailed right through it within a matter of seconds, hitting the new hardwood floor like a tsunami and buckling the edges of the boards, just shows what incredible peeing intensity you possess.
More remarkable still was the fact that you squatted within feet of me here on my computer and opened the floodgates. Other dogs might have indicated a need to go outside, perhaps by a whine, a bark, or even by standing next to the door. That’s simply not your style.
Thanks, girl. You’re a real bitch.