Sunday, January 24, 2016

Update

Kind of a hodge-podge update for you today.

It has been a week of highs and lows, sometimes in the same moment. The week started well with my passing a 3 hour glucose test at the lab! While most of my friends and neighbors were scrambling around getting ready for our impending blizzard, I was getting A LOT of blood drawn. The whole process made me feel sick and worn down, but that could have been residual issues from the stomach bug last week.

Margaret and I were sleeping at my dear friend's parents' house in anticipation of construction dust and fumes at our house, as we were having the kitchen floor refinished. I slept better than I have in months, and ate well too. It was wonderful to be away from my sickbed-exile and in my friend Cynthia's childhood home again, snuggled in her cozy bed watching Gilmore Girls with my girl.

The best part, however, was how both Cynthia's mom and dad MOTHERED me while we were there. I realized that even at age 46, I crave mothering; perhaps you do too. I feel like I've been on my own for such a very long time. They fussed over Margaret and me, giving us just one more bite of Lebanese food, one more piece of fruit, helping Margaret print out a paper, and searching for flights for me on the computer.  Reflecting on how special this mothering made me feel, I now know I want to mother those who need it, whether or not we are connected by blood.

Tim had to leave town, which meant my finding the dogs a safe place to stay out of the fumes as well. Two lovely friends offered to help, despite crazy schedules and puking kids. The process of getting the dogs' things together, however, meant that the dogs and I were exposed to the absolute brunt of the fumes (due to a mix-up, the workmen showed up hours earlier than planned, while the dogs were still there). I had to get them safely OUT of the house, but I didn't want to be IN the house. Breathing those fumes has caused me a lot of anxiety about the welfare of the baby, but I can't undo it.

During my intense freak out about this (Why would God give us a miracle baby only for us to harm him doing something stupid? Will we ever get this parenting thing right? Why does Tim always go out of town at times like this?), my car broke down on a major road. So that was fun.

Two days later, my car back from the shop,  I had a doctor's appointment. They said I should have been getting sonograms every 4 weeks due to my age, but no one had told me or given me a prescription. They gave me one for as soon as possible, but I can't be fit in for another 2.5 weeks, which will mean I will have gone from 20 weeks to 30.5 weeks between sonograms. Ergh. I was dealing with some serious insurance wrangling when I saw the first flakes, and it became clear I needed to get someplace fast and hunker down for the storm, so I headed home to sleep for the first time since Monday. It also became clear that there was no way I could make it to Charlotte, NC for a speaking engagement. That was really disappointing.

Tim is in town again. He says he smells no fumes anymore, but I don't buy it because-- male nose-- so I'm back in my bed (the farthest spot from the kitchen) with all the windows wide open, looking out at more than 2 1/2 feet of beautiful snow. It's like unofficial bedrest-- a theme for this pregnancy. Margaret is at a friend's house for the duration, so she'll have someone to hang out with. The dogs are their spunky, happy selves and are LOVING the snow. No plows have come to our neighborhood yet, so it will probably be a few more days before we go anywhere. I hope you are warm and safe where you are.

So, no words of wisdom here.

No faith or philosophy. Just a mixed bag of worry and trust. Impatience and patience. Anxiety and peace. My village has really helped me this week. Thank YOU for being part of it!

p.s. Here's a pic of my kids during a BIG STORM in 2009



21 comments:

Gigi said...

Having someone mother you - when you haven't been mothered in a long time, is the absolute best. I remember how wonderful it was when I stayed at my best friend's parents house last year.

And, for the record? They are always out of town/busy when it all hits the fan.

Corinne said...

I just had two babies in a row. Please don't worry about the fumes. There are LOTS of filters between you and baby. It would have been nearly impossible for them to hurt the little dude. I know "don't worry" is far easier said than done. **hugs**

Kerry said...

We had our floors done the last time I was pregnant too, and I researched a ton about those fumes. We were supposed to be out of town when they started, but like you, the timing was off, and I was in the house. My OB said she went through the same thing pregnant and wasn't concerned. My baby (now 3) seems fine, other than being quite large for her age ;).

Anonymous said...

I never comment but wanted to delurk to say we redid our kitchen while I was pregnant with our first. 1. He's a healthy teenager now. And 2.
Windows open in the winter reminded me that I did the same thing. I worried about the fumes all the time. Some things end up bring way more stressful than we realize. Take care of yourself.

Laura said...

I was in and out of our house for things when we had our floors refinished--I was about 6 months pregnant. Our daughter is almost 15 and none the worse for wear. And I agree, everything goes wrong at our house when my husband is at the firehouse--every third day. Hope things settle down for you soon.

Penny said...

Of course you crave mothering, even at 46. I'm 65 and I sometimes crave it. You have so much going on in your life-such a mixture of joy, exhilaration and fear, all of which are normal. I'm so appreciative that you are bringing us along on this journey with you, and I hope it brings you some comfort knowing how many people (that you've never met) think about you daily!

A Speckled Trout said...

I love the sweet silence after a snowfall and I've been envious that we have barely had any this year. I hope your snow quiets the turbulence within. xoxo

nomadsbynature said...

Such a sweet 2009 photo of your two kids! Glad to hear you've been busy being spoiled and pampered for a bit. I love open windows with fresh winter air pouring in - and you are totally right about "male nose"! The fact that your smell senses go into superpower mode during pregnancy is highly under-recognized. Hoping your remodel is completed soon and you have that wonderful cozy kitchen space to enjoy a bit before baby arrives!

KathleenM said...

I am 53 and although my mother has been gone for almost six years now, I miss her something terrible. We who are always there for others, sometimes crave the same care and concern for ourselves. There is nothing like a mother's love.

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

glad to hear that you were able to get some much needed TLC in there, and also glad you hunkered down for the storm- we got something like 3 feet here... crazy!!!!!! i remember that 2009 storm and i thought it was insane... never did i imagine that it could be surpassed i extremity!

Suburban Correspondent said...

We moved into our first house when I was pregnant with my third. We had just had the floors refinished, and that baby is now at an engineering school on a full merit scholarship. Also, it isn't Tim's male nose at fault here, but your pregnant nose. That same house stank (in my opinion) of cat urine, to the point where my poor husband was ripping out bathroom vanities ( the litter boxes had been inside them) to make me feel better. 4 bathroom vanities. He is a good man.

Anonymous said...

What a whirlwind! Hopefully the snow gave you a bit of respite when it fell; there's no choice but to hunker down ... I also had the 3 hour glucose test when I was pregnant. Dang, it hurt when they had to draw blood from the same veins over and over.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Thank you for the update. Glad you got to be mothered. I know I could use some of that. Also Mark always seems to be out of town when something happens and it frustrates me even more now that I am older. (Like a dead rat on our front step last Friday!!!) Take care......

www.robinbotie.com said...

I can relate to that mothering thing. So great to get it, even at age 64. But really great to GIVE it. I mean, I NEED to give it out. So these days, the recipient of all my mothering is my little dog.
You've got a lot going on. I'm wishing you peace and quiet and fresh air and beautiful days.

Elizabeth Ryan said...

Anna, beautiful blog. I disagree that you shared no wisdom as I found plenty tucked into what you chose to share. Hopefully things will settle down for you and you will soon have reassurance about your baby. <3

Karen Almand said...

Hi Anna-I wanted to share with you that with my first child we were stripping some hardware of old paint (redoing our kitchen too in our fixer upper we had bought.) After using it for some time, I read on the can that pregnant women should not use it-causes birth defects. I think I worried about it the rest of my pregnancy. This now makes me laugh. I think the warning is on there for people who might strip paint for a living-not someone who uses it one time. Same with those fumes. If it was that easy to pass on a birth defect, everyone would have them. So please try not to worry dear girl!

Love, Karen from Memphis

Mrs4444 said...

I'm glad you got to be mothered; you deserved it. Stay warm, and enjoy your new floors!

julie gardner said...

My daughter Karly and I have been watching Gilmore Girls together now too, a show she was too young to watch the first time around.
She's 16 now (close to Rory's age for much of the show) and I just love the conversations the episodes spark for us.

More importantly, though, I'm glad you got a chance to be mothered.
We are never too young or too old to be loved like that.

Jennie Goutet said...

I'm a few days old on reading this, but was glad to get your update, even if I felt the worry - I get the worry! I'm just really glad you got some pampering. You are beloved.

www.thewhitefarmhouse2.blogspot.com said...

I have to tell you that it has been 2 years since I have visited, but I have thought of you and your family often. You have weighed heavily on my mind and every time I say a little prayer that all is good with you. It sounds like it is! A baby! Congratulations! Also, relax! I had my youngest when I was in my mid 40's. She is such a special joy to me. Let people take care of you. Soon you will have your hands full! Enjoy your time being pregnant and try to keep the stress away. I am looking forward to seeing pics of your new bundle of joy!

Anonymous said...

Anna, how exciting! I haven't had a chance to visit your blog for ages. I'm so happy for you all. I had a 20 year old and three teenagers when I found out I was expecting my surprise baby. I cried for months! They were wasted tears, though, because I treasured every single moment with her and she has been an absolute blessing. I didn't think I could 'do it all again' but age and wisdom make us realise how quickly the time passes and just how previous these little miracles are. God bless xx