Friday, September 5, 2014

Why I Stopped Sleeping with My Husband

Got to love an attention-grabbing headline, huh?

This post isn't about amorous activities or the lack thereof. It's about my shoulders. Again. Turns out I have a torn labrum on one side from a fall on black ice last winter. I still have the frozen shoulder on the other side which I told you about earlier, but it's hurting less now. I guess you would refer to it as "partially thawed."

After months of physical therapy but worsening pain in my left shoulder, I got an MRI and found out about the tear.  It's good to finally know what's going on, but I don't plan on making any decisions about surgery or other next steps for a few weeks.

As most people with shoulder injuries know, nighttime is the worst. I haven't had a full night's sleep since last November. Parents of babies and toddlers are probably saying, "Yeah, well I haven't either!" but at least there's the possibility that those precious nocturnal bed-hogs will care for you in your old age. My shoulder just underscores the fact that I'm hurtling toward mine.

So, in addition to my PT and an orthopedist, I sought the counsel of someone in the know about aches and pains-- my friend's charming 70 year old dad. He told me the best way to get a good night's sleep with a shoulder injury is to sleep in a recliner. We chit chatted about this over the 4th of July weekend, and I tucked his advice away, certain it couldn't apply to me. A recliner? As a visual aid,  his two green recliners sat right there in his den, but I tried to ignore them.

I wasn't about to adapt my long-held standards. See, I have always adhered to a strict NO RECLINER rule in our house.  Yeah, yeah Brooke Shields has made La-Z-Boy more attractive. but I've always been a little stuck in my ways. It's just one of those things. I still call Costco "Price Club," I don't wear white shoes after Labor Day, and I'd rather sit on an uncomfortable but attractive chair than in a recliner.

Or so I thought. After almost two additional months of wakeful nights, I caved. Last week I put out a plea on Facebook, and within a few hours, Tim was dragging Big Blue into our house. Big Blue is a supple leather recliner once owned by my friend's grandpa. That first night I settled into Big Blue with my eye shades, a good book, and my reading glasses (!!!!), and I haven't looked back. Sleep still comes and goes, but I'm a lot more comfortable.

My worldview has shifted, and now I'm a RECLINER LOVER! I can't believe we never had one growing up! How have I lasted 44 years without one, subjecting my family to chair after shabby chic chair that I'd rescued from the side of the road based solely on looks and never on comfort? For me, it was all about the decor. Well, décor no more!

After we return Big Blue, I wonder if I will take this new-found love to the next level. Maybe a massage chair? With cupholders, perhaps? They do make slip covers for these things, right?

In the meantime, I will be asking my friend Heather if I can borrow the wedge bed pillow her husband used following his rotator cuff surgery.

Because much as I have embraced the recliner life,  I don't want Tim to get too used to having the bed all to himself.

21 comments:

tracy said...

Ha! I see a Craftmatic Adustable Bed in your future...

Robin @ Farewell Stranger said...

I so get your reluctance, but sleep! I'd do almost anything for sleep. (And now I want a tricked-out La-Z-Boy.)

Lisa C said...

Been there and gave in, too! We now have TWO in the living room. While I still hate when family comes over and the men think it's a great idea to extend those recliners, therefore making an obstacle course out of the room, I still love that I can curl one of my littles fighting a cold into them with me and get some upright but comfy sleep :)

Kristin @ My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia said...

Feel better, you will be back to normal quick enough so hubby doesn't get used to the bed by himself :)

Lesley said...

I have always been anti-recliner (and anti-giant tv). Well, yesterday while shopping for a giant tv, my son experienced a recliner that "swivels in a complete circle with bumps as soft as elephant blubber". I hope your shoulder heals quickly and in case you want to experience elephant blubber, I happen to know just the place, and you can finance that baby for 24 months!

Suburban Correspondent said...

I am marveling at how you got through raising babies without a recliner. How did you sleep during those nights when they were congested and wakeful, dozing fitfully in your arms? I couldn't have managed without mine. We did finally get rid of it (for aesthetic reasons), but there are always those nights I miss it.

Theresa said...

We become the people we used to make fun of. -Wells Family saying

Dawn said...

I, too, have had frozen shoulder in both shoulders for some time now -- a year and a half in one and a year in the other, and they are finally thawing! It is heavenly. You are so right about the poor sleeping. That, trying to take my shirt on or off, putting on a coat, and toweling off my back after a shower were the banes of my existence. Glad you have found some relief in the recliner!!

michelle said...

Hi Anna! So glad you found a way to sleep a little more comfortably. I hope you find some relief for your shoulders soon! I've been a longtime reader and thought I should come out of lurkdom to say how much I've been encouraged by your writing even in the midst of grieving the loss of Jack. An amazing boy I will never forget even if I only met him through your words. Anyway, thank you for sharing your heart.

Finally, I wanted to let you know that I've nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award. The details are all over the internets but also on my blog if you'd like to participate!

Ellen aka Ellie said...

I hate our living room furniture, but it's so comfortable I can't consider giving it up. When it assaults my eyes, I take a nap or turn the lights off to watch a movie.

Sisters from Another Mister said...

LOL ... years back a girlfriend was trying to get pregnant to no avail. After spending a weekend with them, it came up that her husband fell asleep in the recliner every night.
I felt a birds and the bees convo was in order ;)

Tara said...

I love this! I love being comfortable enough to scrap our previous conceptions about how things should be and giving ourselves the grace to just be comfortable whether it's a tshirt and jeans or a nice cushy recliner. There's a place and time for everything. I truly have enjoyed following your posts for a while now, but this is my first comment. You are inspirational!

laura@imnotatrophywife.com said...

Yay for the recliner! I think that is what happens in our 40's.. we let go of "some of" the image. Function over Fashion! ha!
laura

laura@imnotatrophywife.com said...

and yes the title caught my attention! Want a smile this morning check out our new addition.. Bernese Mountain dog puppy!!!! laura

DonnaLinn said...

Yep, our La-Z-Boy saved me during pregnancy. I could only sleep about 1-2 hours in bed (if that!). Then it was off to the La-Z-Boy for a couple more hours. Glad to hear you are resting better. :)

Colleen said...

Anna, your headline and story had me in tears (of laughter). Our very expensive mattress started putting knots in my back at night so we're in the same boat as you and Tim. We have a leather recliner (no Lazy Boy for me, I HAD to have the yuppie expensive one that doesn't look like a recliner - which means I use it to put folded laundry on it) and I hadn't even thought to try to sleep in it. I'm so there tonight. The only thing I can think of is that I just spent a month being lucky enough to walk all over England (about 5+ miles a day), and the sudden return to my desk chair and far less daily activity is causing problems. Hmmm...how do I write myself a note to get out of work?? ;-)

Thanks as always for being humorous, inspiring and just plain awesome! Looking forward to reading Rare Bird - it's been ordered for months.

Alison said...

Ooh, recliners are just the best thing ever! I'm glad you're getting some sleep at last.

LisaAR said...

I guess I never really had an official stance on recliners, but I can certainly understand that the clunkiness of some don't make for a chic room. I grew up with this chair (http://www.daniafurniture.com/living/recliners/arum-recliner-with-ottoman-bn/5329) and we still have it in our home. It was my dad's chair, and I love that I have been able to snuggle my son in it, too. And there have been numerous rough nights made better by "his" comfort, too.

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Had to laugh because I call Costco Price Club too and Macy's is still Robinson-May for me! So sorry about your shoulders but glad that the recliner has actually helped. This was such a fun post :) We don't have any recliners yet, I've never cared for them either.

Jennifer Hall said...

We just bought a new couch with electric recliners AND cup holders! I go for usefulness over decor any day!

One crazed mommy said...

Oh I love a good recliner! When I was pregnant (and after first was born) I slept best in our big, soft, comfy LB recliner...it was a faux suede material that was sooooo soft, and it was big and cushy...I miss that recliner. The one we have now...not so comfy. I had many nights of restful sleep (and many of just rocking a crying baby) in that comfy recliner....sigh!