Wednesday, February 10, 2010
February 10, 2010
Dear Noah Wylie and TNT Executives,
When my family and I discovered your made for TV movies about a Librarian who must save important artifacts from getting into the hands of evil-doers, we were ecstatic. We found the first 2 in the series to be in the same spirit as Indiana Jones and the National Treasure franchise, but without so much killing and those freaky Nazis. We also enjoyed the supporting roles played by Bob Newhart and Jane Curtin.
Imagine my chagrin when we watched “The Librarian: Curse of the Judas Chalice” last night. I thought we’d get some more zany globetrotting adventures with historical allusions thrown in. You know, secret passageways, codes to decipher, and bad guys whose quests for power needed snuffing out by a hero who always gets the girl. I even fancied that it might be a little bee-blicle, given that Judas was in the title.
I’m not sure how you managed to turn it into a into a vampire movie where we had to deal with: voodoo, Count Dracula, and a bunch of ape-shit, or should I say bat-shit vampires flying around sucking everyone’s blood. I had gotten used to fast forwarding through the TV movie’s obligatory bedroom romp. My son asked me, “Why does Flynn (Wylie) have a different girlfriend in each movie?” But a little sheet time was nothing compared to exposing my 8 and 10 year olds to fangs, skeletons, the un-dead and bags of blood.
I will expect to receive from you, by FedEx or UPS, a King-sized Serta Perfect Sleeper to replace our current Queen. Mr. See and I do not anticipate sleeping alone together for quite some time.