I realized this morning after one of my cheap but beloved bras sprung a strap, that my cup runneth over. One would think I might be pleased to discover additional cleavage before breakfast, but I was not.
Over the past 39 ¾ years I have become privy to many cruel truths of womanhood. One is that when it comes to weight loss, the breasts are the first place you lose it, and when it comes to weight gain, they are the last place it lands. Uncool.
So what might have seemed like a bonus for a fleeting second at 7 this morning, was really just a sad reminder that the extra L-B’s have been creeping up my bod all summer long.
Pockets and pooches and dimples of unwanted smoosh have sprung up all over. A large dose of denial, an unseasonably cool summer, a job in an air conditioned office, and that fact that my whole family has been too lazy to use our pool membership (yeah, you read that correctly!) have all allowed me to stay covered in long sleeved shirts and capris rather than my customary summer uniform of tank tops or a skirted bathing suit. I mean what’s another 8 lbs if you’re practically wearing a burka?
Don’t know where I’m going with this.
Probably straight to the kitchen to commune with my new package of Limited Edition Oreos: Chocolate Sundae Crème flavor.
The Limited Edition crap gets me every time.