Tuesday, July 21, 2009

All Washed Up?


What is it about blond bombshell celebrities that seems so… OLD? Do you know how old Jessica Simpson is? 29. Britney Spears? 27. Pamela Anderson? 42.

I would have guessed their median age to be about 105. And Brooke Hogan, Hulk Hogan’s daughter? 20 years old.

Is it the fact that these women are so overexposed, literally and figuratively, that makes me feel like they should be pushing 50 at least? When I was a young girl, fretting that I’d NEVER go through puberty, my mom told me not to rush it—that some women mature and then flame out early—maybe THIS is what she was talking about.

Their big chests, blond hair, tan skin and sheen of skankiness make these ladies appear older than they really are. And they are vaguely annoying, which perhaps solidifies the feeling that they’ve overstayed their welcome in some way.

On the flip side: Sally Field? 62. Nanci Griffith? 56. Mary Tyler Moore? 72. Now those are some numbers I can get my head around, although poor MTM does look like she’s had a bit too much work done. For some reason, petite, brown-eyed celebrities have more staying power in my warped little brain.

Of course, I ended up finally “becoming a woman” at the ripe old age of 11. And I do dye my hair blond-ish. And I am a celebrity in my own mind.

Here’s hoping I don’t look too much older than I really am.

5 comments:

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

I'm always surprised by photos of me - getting older is definitely happening. Drat.

Pamela said...

You look fabulous! Since the tender age of 17, you've been one of the most beautiful people I know.

Heidi said...

"sheen of skankiness..." ummm...loving that!

I so love Sally Field.

Funny post.

Keetha said...

You don't.

I'd never thought about it before but you're right - those women all do appear older than they actually are. How about that?

Mother Mayhem said...

I dunno... I'm a redhead. ;o)