Monday, June 20, 2016

If You Give a Mom a Maxi Dress

If you give a mom a maxi dress, she might realize she needs a new strapless bra for it. If she orders a 6 pack of one-size-fits-all bras from Amazon for 19.99, she might not understand that the sizing does not apply to her enormous jugs. If she wears one of the bras and the maxi dress all day, she might wear it out to a party at night. If she's having a good time at the party, she might let good company and conversation distract her from a throbbing in her chest. If she is distracted from a throbbing in her chest, she might not realize the bra is cutting into her low-hanging boobs right where the milk ducts are, creating a formidable wall that no milk can breach. If no milk can pass out of her body, she might stay up all night in pain, pumping, praying, and cursing her life and her bra. If she stays up all night tending to her hard, misshapen balls of misery, she might be tired at her baby's baptism the next day. If she's tired at her baby's baptism, she might blearily look around at all the pretty ladies in their maxi dresses and wonder if she should buy another one.

If you give a mom a maxi dress...

Despite boob-trauma, Andrew's baptism was lovely. He didn't cry, which was a huge relief because he has been pretty fussy lately. I'm going to try dig up pics for you of Margaret and Jack in the same gown.

Godwink of the day: Andrew's baptism was exactly 17 years to the day after Jack's.






Would you like to watch his baptism here?

23 comments:

Kathy Radigan said...

Beautiful picture of the two of you!! So happy for you Anna!! Though I did miss you this year at BlogU! xoxo

Anonymous said...

He has to be one of the most beautiful babies ever and you look amazing Anna - no maxis in sight ;) xo Anna from Poland

Ann Imig said...

You are so funny and beautiful. Godwink indeed.

Jessica said...

Oh, man, that video made me cry. So beautiful. I hope Jack is watching from above!

Susan said...

Y'all are lovely.

Elaine Alguire said...

Oh so precious. I just love him in that gown! He is such a doll. Congratulations Andrew Luke!

Laurie said...

Thank you, I needed that boob trauma laugh more than you can imagine!!
Congratulations, again, on the Baptism

Jenn said...

Pete James baptized my two oldest boys in that same spot. Just hearing his voice makes me weep. What a beautiful day for you and your family. Thanks for sharing. God bless you, Andrew Luke.❤️❤️❤️

Heather Adler said...

Anna - you are just priceless. I hadn't thought of Pig and a Pancake in a while - but WOW- I like your take better (and I don't actually have a chest!). In any event - GOD BLESS. We loved your pictures of Andrew and this post - too funny - (too real!) but SO funny. Love your humor- never ever lose it please - it would be a loss for humanity! I'm with Anna from Poland - he has to be one of the most beautiful babies ever - but I guess that is what you get when your baby comes directly from Heaven itself. He is a gem. And he looks EXACTLY like Jack. Holy. Like - literal "HOLY". Amazing. Cannot WAIT for you to dig up those pictures - because if you black and white them - and show us all one we haven't seen, my money is that many of us will "get it wrong"! Beautiful children. XOXO

Jeanie said...

That was lovely. Get another maxi. And bra.

Kimberly said...

Oh, those wires in the bras are the WORST when it comes to milk ducts! I totally gave up on underwires while I was nursing!

www.robinbotie.com said...

Thank you so much for sharing Andrew's baptism on the video. I've never seen one before. It was beautiful and so warming, the way the babies were treated. When Andrew was lifted into the air it reminded me of the similar scene I loved in Lion King. So moving to see a wee one held above and welcomed to a community, to the world. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

You look well in your photos for all the late night pain and pumping! Those clogged ducts are super painful!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I really need to hold that baby again soon... xoxo

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

That is a great story you can embarrass him with about 13 years from now! What a blessing you have been to many!

katrynka said...

You are so hilarious!!!

Thank you for sharing his baptism!!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I love that Andrew's baptism was exactly 17 years after Jack's. Loved the video.

La Coco Noire said...

Literally hilarious. Such a beautiful post.

Katie xx ¦ La Coco Noire

green said...

Best sense of humor! Anna, you are brave and kind and beautiful. Thank you for sharing laughs and joy and tears. It helps so many of us.

erinlovesjolene said...

As a mastitis survivor all I can say is, good job mama! Andrew is adorable and the spitting image of his big brother and sister. Amazing that it's so apparent, so early.

To make it about me for a moment, I'm getting fired from a job I have had for 7 years. I'm not sad about the job,but I'm angry and hurt over the rehection. Anyway, thank you for serving as a reminder that this too will pass and that I can do hard things.

Jenna Clark said...

He is so swoon-worthy. Sending you all such love.

Abigail Benjamin said...

Blessings on your handsome son!

Anonymous said...

Hi Anna,
I am a long time reader BUT from a long time ago- well not that long but long enough that when I checked in yesterday I was SHOCKED and SOOO happy for you and your family. I had a baby at 43- he was a little bit of a shock and I laughed when you said that after you delivered him you could not deny you were having another baby. That was exactly how I felt!!! God is good and I just cannot stop thinking about you guys. You look fabulous and are rocking it, Mama. Love you- and sending hugs and best wishes!! And Margaret is adorable!!!
Amy W.