Monday, October 20, 2014

Itching to Talk to You

So much and yet so little to write on a Monday.

I could update you on my shoulders...(torn labrum is feeling MUCH better, thank you, and my husband and I are back to sharing the same bed!)

Or on how it feels to have the book "out there" for real people to read (not weird at all)

Or how I coped with our town's high school homecoming festivities without Jack (left town, had a great time, tried not to look at FB. Peeked anyway, gah!)

Or what it's like to have a kid whose math homework is now way too hard for me to help with (humbling)

Or that Tim and I almost jetted off to Paris for his work, but instead stayed home and got hooked on the True Detective DVD's he got me for my birthday (saved money, scary, good)

Or whether you think I should start signing every text with a simple new embellishment. (To Tim: "Please buy dog food. XOXO, NYT Best Selling Author" To my sister: "Period through jeans again. XOXO, NYT Best Selling Author" Is that too much? It's not, right?)

Oh I just don't know. Monday is making me feel all over the place, so let's just go with this morning's events-- a visit to the dermatologist followed by a wait at the pharmacy that was, I'm certain, long enough for me to pick up every single germ that lurked in the back of Rite Aid. And far too long for my bladder to hold its 3 cups of tea, but heck if I was going to use a bathroom in a PHARMACY, so I held it during a drive home laced with an, "I think I can, I think I can!" pep talk for myself.

But then, because of leaving the garage door open for our garage-mahal builders, the door to the house was locked but I had no key. I was locked out with a full bladder and a yard not wooded enough to provide an acceptable level of privacy, should I have to go outdoors.

A plan emerged.

Tim was getting a physical back in town, where I'd just come from; perhaps I could head him off at the pass and get a key from him before he headed to work. And instead of just waiting for me in the doctor's office parking garage, he suggested Starbucks. So we had a 10:30 a.m. date, which is pretty spiffy for a Monday morning.

Yes, my part of the date consisted saying, "Hey!" and running to the bathroom, but moments later it  seemed pretty date-like as he slid a house key across table with a smile. Had this been Mad Men, not my suburban life, and had I not just come from a dermatologist who diagnosed me with an itchy, creepy skin virus  over my entire body, well, this story could have ended differently.

Instead, Tim headed to work and I to the gas station.

But you should have seen how hot he looked as we parted ways and he whispered,  "Try Shell. We might have gas points there."

After a few more errands and an ill-fated search for red lentils at the store, I'm back home, Shadow at my feet, trying to ease my way into this week.

I hope your week is filled with love, laughter, and non-rashy days.

31 comments:

Sherri said...

Ah, Monday... yours sounds just about like how I would expect. And I would never want to pee in the pharmacy bathroom, either. Who KNOWS the germs that lurk in there??

Hope Tuesday is all shiny and nice.

tracy said...

Oh my word you had me giggling. Old married people are hot, right? Love that Shell comment. Happy Monday my friend. xoxoxo

Sarah said...

Ha! And you ran into Sarah Bagley, the complainer ;)

Cindy said...

Hysterical! Love you!

Suzanne said...

Ha! This happened to me once and I had to pee in my backyard. Pulled my pants down and just went for it. Sigh, it happens!

And that Shell comment was hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Cute. You're so lucky Tim goes to work instead of you :-)

AmyLynne said...

I love this! I read your whole book yesterday, and then I hugged it. I thought I had done my part when I got my small-town library to buy it, but of course now I have to buy my own copy. (I should have just done that in the first place.)

Thank you so much for putting your book "out there." I feel like I'm a better person after reading it.

Ingrid said...

Anna,
this post made me smile....and Congratulations on the BEST SELLER!

Rebecca said...

You are one funny lady! And OH MY GOODNESS, you are a NYT best selling author. So excited for you.

I say YES to the text signature. :)

Sybil@PeaceitallTogether said...

Sounds like the perfect day! HAHA!! My husband and I had a similiar mid-day meeting, when I had to take him his forgotten checkbook...he was in the middle of a meeting and I had a trunk full of groceries, so back home alone I went :)

miapurdin said...

Period through jeans.... I am crying laughing. Aunt Flo's been visiting me for almost 20 years now and I still can't figure out the right tampon/pad ratio to avoid that delightful discovery!

miapurdin said...

Period through jeans.... I am crying laughing. Aunt Flo's been visiting me for almost 20 years now and I still can't figure out the right tampon/pad ratio to avoid that delightful discovery!

Jenn said...

Yas Bakery for the red lentils...staying away until your rash subsides:)). Love you!

Alison said...

Yes, of course you sign off allthethings with NYT Bestselling Author!

Hope that rash clears up soon. xoxo

Anonymous said...

So many bloggers have gotten book deals, but I think you are one of two or three who deserved yours on the merits of your writing alone. I'm only sorry you had to tell the story you did.

So glad you continue to publish!

Steph said...

Loved this post! Congratulations on your new status and signature you NY Times BESTSELLER! Although I've never met you IRL, I'm so happy for you.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Hahahahaha! HaHa Ha! Still laughing about the Shell line - too funny.

www.robinbotie.com said...

I'm just finishing your book and it is so inspiring to hear you going on about your Monday. It's just that life happens and life goes on and thank you for this - for showing that there is life and laughter after your world goes kerplunk. Cheers!

Martha Brettschneider said...

My door is always open if you need a bathroom, New York Times Best Selling Author. As always, beautifully crafted post! Hope your Tuesday was better than your Monday!

Anonymous said...

Haha, I love your new sign-off! We are all so proud of you.

You'll get to Paris...

love,
jbhat

Lisa C said...

So funny:) This made my morning!

heather blair said...

Thanks for the smiles. :)

Anonymous said...

What is your creepy skin virus? I'm asking because my daughter has had a rash for four months and doctors and dermatologists can't figure it out. She's miserable.

Lady Jennie said...

I read torn labia. I'm glad you don't have a torn labia (NYT Bestselling Author). ;-)

julie gardner said...

Forget worrying about gas points.

Just tell the Shell guy you're a NYT Best Selling author.

(Then hope he doesn't notice your period through your jeans.)

:-)

Anonymous said...

pharmacy bathroom really isn't different from the rest of the pharmacy germ-wise (sorry to tell you) ;) CONGRATS on the NYTimes listing!!!

ellen said...

you are funny.

Jen said...

Are you kidding? I now pepper my conversations with, "Well, you know my friend Anna, the NYT Best Selling Author..." Go for it sister - you've earned it! XO

Anonymous said...

Anna, try one of the indian grocery store for red lentils.

Princess Kate said...

I wanted you to know that I am still here and still caring and praying hard for you and your family. Jack is never out of our hearts and minds on this side of town.

Jen G. said...

Hi Anna,
I bought your book and finished it last week. Thank you for your raw honesty. Your writing is exquisite, and real, and I am sorry you had to write this particular story but so glad that in the midst of it all, you showed us how you walked it out, and continue to do so, with God. I was just reading verses in John today, and they seem to apply to your story (John 17:8: For I (Jesus) gave them the words you gave me, and they accepted them." You are a print missionary! :) )
I also wanted to tell you that in April, I emailed you to ask what I could say to the parents of a young boy who tragically died at middle school baseball practice. I read, and shared, your post on ways to help a grieving family, and am trying to live that out for them. I also passed along my copy of Rare Bird to that family, in the hopes that your words would bring them comfort in ways that only someone who has walked this path could comfort them. Blessings to you today.