Game On

Dear Dick's Sporting Goods,

When your shop opened in our area a few years ago, I never made fun of your name. I realized that you must have been founded by someone named Richard, and I respected that. I did not giggle or snort when I told people where I'd be purchasing sporting goods for my family because that wouldn't have been polite, and I'm also known to be quite mature about such things.

In addition, I am very sensitive to people's plights with difficult names. I had a friend growing up whose surname was the same name as your store's. I also had a best friend in elementary school named Camille Peed. So, I'm sensitive that way.

When this rather large object came home in the box with my daughter's cleats this week, however, I was taken aback. When she grabbed it, and started singing into it like a microphone, I was further astounded. When she said she'd like to put it in her soccer bag and take it to practice to show the girls, well, I wasn't quite sure what to do. While I am (still) too mature to stoop to the level of joking about your name, or about what I think this object may resemble a teensy bit, I am not too mature to put a picture of it on my blog.

And please don't worry that you'll lose our business over this. In fact, we'll be in next week. We need balls.

Sincerely,
Anna See