Fourteen

Some really neat things happened around Jack's birthday.

Tim and three friends ran a 5k in his honor, and one of our neighbors ran a 1/2 marathon.

On Saint Patrick's Day, the night before his birthday, we gathered at a Mexican restaurant with a big group of Jack's best friends and their families. Don't you think Mexican food when you think St. Paddy's?

People came and went as schedules permitted, ate dinner, visited, and looked at family albums. Three of Jack's classmates drew amazing portraits of him to give to us. I know that when I was their age, I was struggling to make a line drawing of a SHOE in art class, so the skill and love that comes through these drawings is astounding!




We were supposed to leave the restaurant at 8, but we stayed until closing time, sharing stories and laughing a lot.

On his birthday, which was snowy and cold, Auntie Liz ran 14 miles in his honor, while I nursed about 14 cups of tea. Two of my friends joined her for the first 5 miles, their hair covered with ice, the wet snow still coming down.

Friends decided to do 14 acts of kindness, and  we got to hear the stories pour in: of Lego sets given to children in the hospital, toiletries donated to women's shelters on the west coast, and even of grace extended to someone who had done something very hurtful.

Two of Jack and Margaret's friends went with their mom to a local grocery store and waited by the bakery. Each time someone came to pick up a birthday cake, they gave out a gift card for 14 dollars to help pay for the cake and then told Jack's story. This took guts and creativity, and one of the recipients was so touched she went home, Googled our story, and re-donated the money to Samaritan's Purse in honor of Jack. So many acts of kindness, so much love.

One of the neatest stories came out of a rural high school in West Virginia where my brother works. Our friend, an English teacher, developed a lesson plan around specific posts on this blog. The students were so moved that they decided on their own to commit to doing 14 acts of kindness for Jack's birthday. In all, these amazing teenagers committed to doing 3,000 acts of kindness in Jack's name! For example, one boy gave a veteran a ride and spent time visiting with him at a fast food restaurant.  A girl put positive quotations and affirmations in every drive-thru bag at the McDonalds where she works, spreading love up and down a major highway. Forty other English teachers from all over downloaded the lesson plan to use with their own students.

Each signature on this poster represents a student who will be doing these acts of kindness! Isn't that beautiful?

When this same English teacher was on a school trip 3 hours from home a few days later, a stranger offered to pay for her coffee. "Why?" she asked. "Well, I'm doing these 14 acts of kindness in memory of a boy..." The love was spreading!

These acts helped motivate Tim, Margaret, and me to do 14 of our own, and it helped us think beyond ourselves for a little while. We made "blessing bags" for our cars-- Ziploc bags filled with snacks, new socks, toiletries and a few dollars, to have ready when we encounter someone in need.

Cards, beautiful Lego keychains made by a friend, 14 luminaria on our door step, a stained glass window for our wall, flowers, and prayers from all over the internet, helped us get through the day.

Thank you so much!

My favorite jewelry designer, of Holly Lane Designs, created a beautiful pendant with Jack's favorite Bible verse on it. The Mobius Strip design is a perfect nod to Jack's love of puzzles, as well as God's ability to make the impossible possible.

The rest of the week, I was in birthday recovery mode, which I've noticed is pretty common after a major holiday. The buildup and anticipation are the worst, with our feeling weepy, irritable, and hopeless, and then it gets a little better afterward. Kind of like PMS for grief.

Five days after Jack's birthday, 8 family members and I went to a restaurant after Margaret's soccer tournament. The bill was NOT small. When it came, the waiter said it had already been paid for. "What?" We looked around, confused. Surely there had been a mistake.

"No," the waiter said, "Someone paid and said it was for Jack's mom.'"

Wow.

Life is hard. Life is good.

So grateful for all the lights that flicker in the darkness.

Happy Birthday, Jack! We Love You.

Thank you for all the prayers and love as we celebrated Jack's 13th birthday this weekend. If he had been alive, we would have had about 5 boys over for a sleepover, and then taken a family trip to Chevy's Mexican Restaurant.

Instead, we had a weekend-long love-fest remembering and honoring our sweet boy. Relatives came to town to support us, Facebook lit up with blue ribbons as people changed their profile pics for Jack's birthday, and sweet cards and gifts came in the mail. My sister compiled a memory book for us with letters and emails from friends and family. Flowers appeared on our doorstop, and at the cross by the side of the road.

Margaret baked a birthday cake shaped like giant Peep. She's pretty stoked about putting that on the blog in case any of you want to attempt it for Easter. Pics to follow.

Saturday was the Rock and Roll Marathon in DC, with an amazing team of Jack's Lanterns running their hearts out for Jack. Almost $20,000 has been raised for Samaritan's Purse so far! Jack's special cousin, Isaac, ran 1/2 of the 1/2 marathon as a relay with his mom, Jack's Auntie. Tim ran his first half marathon ever, with his son's photo on the back of his race jersey. One of our dear friends ended up in the ER after passing out from dehydration at mile 12, but so determined was he to finish the race, he ran the last 1.1 miles around our neighborhood on Sunday, Jack's birthday. Other friends ran different races in Jack's honor this weekend.

Saturday night, we had dinner at Chevy's, where we hadn't been since Jack's 12th birthday. Here are a few pics from one year ago:

As we returned from dinner, we looked up our hill and saw the most beautiful sight or our lives. Luminaria lined our entire driveway and the flickering candles beat back the darkness.

At church on Sunday the choir wore blue ribbons, parishioners wore ribbons or lego crosses from Jack's memorial service, and beautiful flowers adorned the church.

That afternoon, Jack's 6th grade classmates and their parents came over to reminisce and to plant a butterfly bush in our yard. We loved listening to more "Jack Stories" from these kids. Hearing how entertaining and outgoing our pensive, shy boy was made us smile and shake our heads. I have to wonder if one of the reasons Jack was so funny in school-- driving his dear teachers to distraction-- was so this group of kids would always remember him with a smile. One classmate made "picklesicles" out of pickle juice, a nod to Jack's love of dill pickles and to an experiment he and I tried a few years ago.

After this class celebration, we headed to the cul de sac. The same culdesac where Jack learned to ride a two wheeler, and where Margaret would walk down with him to try to drum up a neighborhood game of soccer, Extreme Tag, or Manhunt. The place the kids were heading the last time I saw Jack alive right before one of the neighbors said, "Hey, let's go look at the creek!"

The culdesac was filled with people who have been loving on us constantly, asking nothing in return. One friend made beautiful tags with Jack's Bible verse and a blue bird on them for people to write messages and attach to the balloons. Another set up a table with cookies and lemonade. I didn't get a chance to visit with everyone, but I saw the faces and felt the support.

We sang Happy Birthday to Jack and released the balloons. A day that had started out overcast and dreary, was sunny with a brilliant blue sky. The balloons sailed up up up over the treeline, over the stupid creek, heavenward. Other balloon launches took place in Richmond, across town, at the beach, in Indiana, and even in a Giant Food parking lot.


Tim and I have been amazed and humbled by all of the love and support we have received since Jack's accident. Time and again people have extended themselves, pushed themselves, and inconvenienced themselves, all in the hope of proving us comfort. And they have. You have. And we appreciate it so. We are learning a lot about love from you.

Speaking of love, how about watching one last Jack balloon launch? It's amazing:

In the Blink of an Eye

Happy Birthday, Sweet Boy! You changed EVERYTHING, in all the best ways.

Love, Mom