So, I have my 6 week postpartum OB/Gyn visit next week and I'm a tad nervous.
You know how they say all babies steal a piece of their mamas' hearts? Well, I think mine may have stolen something else when he went hurtling out of the birth canal. Was he grabbing at my innards with those tiny dagger-like baby nails? Was he trying to guarantee there would be no more miracle babies in our family, by ripping my uterus out? Or, although quite toothless, was he somehow fighting tooth and nail to stay inside the cozy chamber of my womb?
Who knows? But something doesn't feel quite right even after almost 6 weeks. You know, a little twinge-y. Sure, I'm no longer wearing an adult diaper and spraying myself with Dermoplast. My self care the past few weeks has been more about brownies and ice cream than sitz baths and ice packs. But I should have known there could be trouble when the doctor spent more time stitching me up than she spent delivering my sweet bundle of joy.
I remember my last postpartum doctor's visit, almost 15 years ago. The elderly male doctor said with a hardy-har and a big smile, "Now you can go home and do your wifely duty!" My first thought was, "Um, did he really just say 'wifely duty'?" My second thought was, "Poor Tim is going to miss out because I am now mad at the whole patriarchal society, AND my boobs are leaking."
I'm guessing if my new OB/Gyn gives me the green light at the appointment, hopefully in far less sexist words, I may have to proceed with caution. Wouldn't a yellow light be wiser than a green light, anyway?
Who knows? I'm hopeful there will be an easy fix to get things back to normal down there.
If not, I could always do what I did after that last visit all those years ago.
Tim: (hopeful countenance, eyebrows raised) "Um, so, what did the doctor say?"
Anna: (fake look of disappointment, shaking head slowly) 10 weeks. He said we need to wait 10 weeks.
p.s. I may be joking a bit here about my own discomfort, but I have access to great medical care. There are many women around the world who lack the resources to get help for OB/Gyn injuries, and it leads to ostracism and life-long disability. Every woman should know about The Fistula Foundation and the amazing work it does!
21 comments:
I love that you end your post with a reminder of our blessings.
You are simply wonderful.
(And good luck at your appointment. Hope there's a yellow light in your future...someday.)
"Poor Tim is going to miss out because I am now mad at the whole patriarchal society, AND my boobs are leaking."
I adore you, Anna.
I am so terribly sorry for the pain. I'm also laughing very, very hard because oh my goodness, you are funny!
I have the same thing after my first child and it was a stitch giving me discomfort. After it dissolved everything was great.
You are managing this like a champ. I am so impressed!
Yes, totally a yellow light. That's completely okay.
Hope all goes well, whichever way you want it to go. LOL.
Good luck with your check-up. Not to rub it in, but do you think you might be "twingy" because you're a wee bit older this time? Now, that is not an insult since I'm many years older than you, but just a thought.
Thank you for sharing. So good, from title to tail! After I finally got a consult with a PT after my second child was nearly two, I am all about talking about pelvic floor dysfunction and telling people about some awesome practitioners who can really support you! I'm now convinced most women who've had babies are walking around feeling ways they don't need to feel and just not talking about it or knowing there is help - targeted, not-forever help. I will PM you!
'Wifely duty' in this house means that I spend an inordinate amount of time reminding my husband to do all the things he said he was going to do.
Hope all is soon well in lady town. :)
I had to be stitched up with 2 of my 3 babies and that definitely made for a longer healing process. I think 8 weeks for one and 10 for the other until I was fully healed. I was okay with that. Andrew is a beautiful baby!!!
My youngest is 16 months and it's still a yellow light! Hahaha jk! Sorta ��
So I'm not sure if you are aware of it, but there is something called a pelvic floor therapist. I recently found out about this from my regular physical therapist, who encouraged me to go because of lingering problems after hip surgery for a torn labrum. Without boring you with my complete medical history, I'll say that I've struggled with hip pain and low back pain for years, getting increasingly bad after the birth of my third child. I've had three c-sections and I found out the scar tissue and ensuing lack of muscle function has caused loads of problems. A few sessions with the pelvic floor therapist has done so much for me, both in terms of my orthopedic issues, but also other issues "down there" that I didn't even know were not normal. It seems kind of weird or creepy, but it's really not. I wish my first obgyn had told me about this years ago. I wonder how it might have changed things for me. Good luck!!
so funny. was it a man who came up with the 6-week mark?
You are hilarious! Fake look of disappointment. ha. :)
I miss you bunches. xo
You are one gutsy lady. Wishing you well with everything. Cheers!
My friends daughter just had her second baby. Her first won't be one for another 7 or so weeks! So she has two babies under the age of 1 and they are not twins! LOL.
Her mother told me she got pregnant at 4 weeks and I said what the heck was doing that at 4 weeks for! Crazy I think and really what man who was in the delivery room wants to do that again so quickly?!!
After going to a male OB/ GYN through the single years and 3 pregnancies and c-sections, I switched to a female doctor. Mostly because I came to the realization that HE had never had a period, a pregnancy, a c-section, a sneeze accompanied by pee, or PMS. At the 6 week check up after my 3rd and last child, the male doctor did his exam "down there" then asked me to sit back up. He said, "I need to tell you something." In the 2 seconds following, I had myself dying from cancer, as I was sure he saw something down there. He then said, in the most serious voice....."You need to lose about 30 pounds."
Buh, bye, old man who has never been pregnant.
You take care down there. Love, Julia
I was very saddened when I ended up having to deliver my babies by c-section because I wanted to have natural child birth's. Never did get to know what that was like, however it did however make the return of the LOL "wifely duty" a whole lot easier!!!
Keeping fingers crossed for the appointment. One of my sisters-in-law swears she misunderstood the doctor at her six-week visit and thought he said six MONTHS until, ahem, marital relations. Since that was perfectly all right with her, I'm still not completely sure I believe it was an honest mistake….
I found it incredible that I had to point out that a baby came out of there 6 weeks earlier. The doctor was there and saw what happened! You'd think they would know 6 weeks is just a ridiculously small amount of time.
Hope you're feeling better! Its a challenge to take care of oneself with a newborn! I remember the recommendation to take lots of sits (spelling?) baths (with those comical contraptions for the toilet seat) after my babies' births, but who has time for that? At least you have chubby cheeks and toothless smiles as your reward!
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