Monday, November 4, 2013

It's All in the Jeans

(photo from JAG jeans website)
I've put on a few lbs lately, and my jeans protested being stretched to the limit. So I ventured out to the mall to buy a new pair. Yeah, super fun. After mucho humiliation in the young, cool department, I decided to give the older ladies' department a try.

After loading my arms with skinny jeans, because apparently older ladies are expected to shoehorn themselves into skinny jeans like the rest of us, something caught my eye.

First I thought it was a rack of  maternity jeans, which didn't make sense because I was in the older ladies' department, but no, they were something called JAG jeans-- high waisted, pull-on stretch jeans with no zipper or belt loops. I thought it would be hi-larious to try them on and possibly make fun of them here on the blog.

I mean, they looked like they'd come up not quite to boob level, but bra-less boob level for sure. The wide fabric band on top was like one of those belly bands that pregnant women wear, except I was pregnant like a million years ago and missed out on that whole thing.

Sure that I was in for a good laugh, I pulled them on and felt... comfortable!

What had started as a joke suddenly got real, Dude.

Sure, there was the risk that all of that lycra could give way to mid-day crotch sag, making me look like Justin Bieber, but maybe it was worth the risk. They felt so good. Then I wondered if it makes any sense to buy jeans when you've gained a little weight; isn't it better to stay uncomfortable as a motivator?  Shouldn't I keep my jeans  "aspirational?" 

Oh my. I wanted the jeans. I tried to justify that I could promise myself I'd never wear them out of the house, since I work from home now, but I've tried that line of reasoning with slippers, yoga pants, and my banana clip, and my resolve never lasts. What starts as a quick trip to the mailbox soon becomes a milk run to the grocery store, then who knows? If I bought these jeans I'd have to be willing to wear them out and about with high-waisted pride.

I was not ready to commit to that.

So, I stripped them off and started trying on the stack of "real" jeans,  you know the ones with zippers. Let's just call them Chafey, Scratchy, and Squeezy. It was like putting on pantyhose immediately after taking off flannel pj's. I was in trouble.

I put the un-jeans back on and looked at my rear. Could I really make these things work? In the car world, a Jag might conjure up the terms "streamlined and sexy," but these Jags were not doing my butt any favors, that's for sure.

But what about the convenience?  If I had a pee emergency, there would be no belt to fumble with, nothing to slow me down. Can I get an Amen on that one?  I would always wear a long shirt or sweater. NO ONE would have to know I lacked a zipper.

So after ten minutes of internal debate, I decided to buy them, even though I am terrified that Margaret will find out. At age 12, she looks with scorn upon all of my clothes and claims I invented the fact that I was "Best Dressed of the Class of 1987."  The first time I bend down and she sees the stretchy fabric reaching toward my clavicles I'll be discovered. 

I got to the cash register and handed them to the older lady working there, along with a coupon clipped out of the newspaper, because that's how I roll. Her response, "Oh? High waistband? I had a pair of pants like this once!"

Excellent.

Judge all you want, but I'm super comfy right now.

Turning in my "Best Dressed Card" momentarily.

54 comments:

CaseyinTO said...

My friend is 27 and wears those. They actually make her butt look good. Youd never know they had that waistband...

Alison said...

My favorite jeans ARE maternity jeans.
My youngest is now 18 months old. Ahem.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Considering that I've been searching for jeans that fit for 6 weeks now and that I had just decided that there would be no harm in my picking up a couple of pairs in the maternity section of Target, I have just one question: WHERE CAN I FIND THESE?

Brittany said...

Okay you made me want to go try them...for reals. They sound super comfy and hey, that is worth a heck of a lot!

Anna See said...

@suburban correspondent: I got them at Lord and Taylor!

Mindy Carlin said...

You look beautiful in anything!! No judgment coming from this mom!

Ann Imig said...

I adore you, Anna. And you always look fabulous. Now comfy and fabulous.

Anonymous said...

I'm 26 and have a few pairs of elastic waist! They're made a lot more "fashionable" now and meant to be worn by everyone. Much more comfortable. Embrace them!

CB_Wilson said...

Hello! Sounds like a version of jeggings to me! Only, maybe a bit more roomy and comfortable. I'm thinking you can claim them as such though! See - there you go, keep that Best Dressed Card!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

You totally bought jeggings!

{sue} said...

Ok, shhhh. Those are the only jeans I wear. I LURVE them. Like a nicer (much) version of pajama jeans. (Nordstrom also has them.)

tracy@sellabitmum said...

I love you.... and need lots of pictures! xo

Cat @ BudgetBlonde said...

I just got this awesome pair of maternity jeans with an elastic waist under the belly. They are SO COMFORTABLE. I told the hubs I would be wearing them forever more, pregnant or not for all the reasons you just stated in this post. Who's going to know?!

Jenn said...

I'm usually the one to stay uncomfortable in my too-tight jeans when I've gained a few pounds as an incentive to lose. But now I really want to try those jeans, Anna!

Lisa said...

Oh my goodness, I'm only 30% embarrassed that I want these. I miss maternity jeans! So comfy...

korinthia said...

I'm glad you went for it. You make me want to go for it. What is the point of choosing clothing that's uncomfortable? I do it all the time like I don't deserve to comfortable until I'm a particular size, and I'm starting to think I will never be that size, so does that mean I won't ever get to be comfortable? Agh! I am going to look for a pair of those jeans.

One crazed mommy said...

Oooh - comfy jeans...I'm there! Every Friday for jeans day at work I have been wearing the one pair that I can somewhat still fit into...by the end of the day I am rushing to get home to put on my sleep pants!!! LOL! Blessed relief when those things are off. I need to find me some of these jeans...no one will ever know with the long tops and sweatshirts I wear. :)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

They sound perfect. I never wear zippered pants but the ones I wear are not sexy like the ones you bought. Glad you bought them. I have to tell you that my husband just got his first pair of stretchy jeans and he is in love with them!

Anonymous said...

If anyone can rock the high waisted elastic waist jeans, my guess is it would be you! You & Jack were on my mind this weekend. My 5 yo put together a pretty complicated Lego set all by himself for the 1st time. He is so happy & proud of himself. Something about those boys & their legos. :)

Anonymous said...

I love coupons too. Glad you're enjoying the new jeans!

The cotton Minnie pants at JCrew feel as good as yoga pants. Also, they don't need to be ironed or dry cleaned; just hang them. (The label says dry clean--ignore it and wash cold.) I wait for a sale.

I like my jeans from Land's End; some of their jeans scream GRANNY, but I found a cut that works and they also have good sales; very simple dark wash jeans; they don't shrink in the wash or stretch out.

Hope that didn't sound like an infomercial, but bad pants can ruin a day...

Jodi Edwards said...

I am currently in maternity jeans and trust me these are way cuter!

Jenny Hart Boren said...

I love (but can't really afford) NYDJ because they have lycra and a nice smooth high waist. Anything lower is bunchy and uncomfortable. On an absolute whim, I tried on jeggings at Old Navy--I look like Laura Petrie but heavens, they are SO comfortable. And very flattering--smooth from thigh to waist. I personally think they make my rear look better than other jeans--and I don't race to rip them off the moment I get home from "out there". Also--they are SUPER dark blue, almost black. About $30. Try them!

StephDSays said...

Just to make you feel better...Brass Plum sells them. So the cool kids are doing it too.

Gretchen said...

awesome! I just bought my first pair of jeans from MAURICES! Lol, I thought I'd missed the boat at shopping that store, apparently people over the age of 40 are also allowed in there, haha

DonnaLinn said...

I am already considering keeping my maternity jeans for well after pregnancy because, well, they are SO COMFORTABLE!

Lisa said...

They don't LOOK like "Mom" jeans in the picture...I may have to check those out. I am a firm believer that it is possible (not always easy, but possible) to stay cute AND comfy... ;)

Laura O'Rourke said...

As I write this, I see that Alison pretty much said exactly what I am about to say: I still wear maternity pants. 18 months later. Also? those pants I wear that aren't maternity pants? Are still stretchy, no zipper, "control top" (though not high wasted) pants. They're great. So, high five, you! I bet you rock them.

Peg said...

Dude, I need those jeans :)

Noah's Mom said...

Anna, first, I should just mention that I want to look for those jeans as I feel I am pretty much in the same boat with jeans & all the issues. But what I REALLY want to say is "I LOVED this post because it had me literally laughing the whole way through!!" (and it felt so good to laugh like that). This is just one reason why I love your blog so much...your writing has a way of taking us from the most serious side of life, and then throwing in something light & fun! AND, you always do it with grace and style. Anyway, I really DID pay attention to the jeans (because they look GREAT) but just enjoyed reading this!

Alison said...

St. Anne LaMotte says life is too short to wear pants that don't fit. Preach on sister.

Kathy Glow said...

I sooo see nothing wrong with this. Says the woman who can't stop gaining weight and curses the fact that there is no Lord and Taylor where she lives.

Kristin said...

Honey, I wear my yoga pants to bed and then into half the day. AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TO A YOGA CLASS IN THREE YEARS. I'm checking into those jeans.

Cynthia said...

Love you, girl!!! Can't wait to follow suit!!!

Rach said...

I've been there. It's happened. I've moved from "Fashion over Function" to "Function over Fashion". :sigh: Getting older is the pits.

Anonymous said...

I'm in the market for jeans and you've sold me! I hope you get commission!

Theresa said...

if you want to get real high fashion I can point you to the super stretchy lycra black leggings with the faux pleather racing stripe down the side. badass, yet expando waist! what more could a girl want?

Lisa C said...

Hmmm, fashionable skinny jeans with a "control top" waist? Sounds like a win to me.

The comments from others are cracking me up!

Heidi Cave said...

Pictures! I want pictures!

I hate shopping for pants/jeans/anything covering my bottom half. It is such hard work. Legs, hips, waist, bum - there is a lot going on.

Wear those high-waisted jeans with pride my friend!

Rebecca said...

I have 2 pairs of elastic waist jeans and one pair of maternity corduroy with the cotton waistband. Don't care, I can breathe!! Long tops and nobody knows! They're SO MUCH better looking now than the older version... the ones I have on today are boot cut in a dark wash! Can't beat that!

So of course I say wear them proudly!

LisaH said...

The older you get the more of an emergency that trip to the bathroom can become. Bring on the zipperless, beltless jeans!

Recovering Church Lady said...

This is so funny because just this morning I put on some of my old jeans that have a "Normal" waist, not HIGH but also not waaay down there on the hips and they felt SO GOOD!
I kept imagining writing a post about bringing them back and then I read this!
Let's do this!! Haha!
Susie

Mama Mary said...

I need some of those jeans, asap! Also, can I borrow your banana clip?

Lady Jennie said...

*giggling* I have stooped so low, there is just no way I can judge!

Princess Kate said...

I saw these jeans in the store today. Gave them a good look over and then passed on them. I'm not there yet :). Hope you are enjoying them.

Mandy said...

you go girl. I'm all for comfort....and there's nothing flattering about muffin bits hanging over the top of normal jeans anyway!

Anonymous said...

hahaha ahhahahahah..... love this. why is being uncomfortable a sign of moral failing ??? it's NOT! abercrombie just wants you to think it is. beautiful people (like yourself) should not give them the satisfaction. comfort is a form of rebelllion!!!

Suburban Correspondent said...

@Jenny Hart Boren, I see nothing wrong with looking like Laura Petrie ;)

And the jeans are also available on Zappo's. I got mine on sale for 55 dollars. They are awesome. Thanks, Anna!

GrahamForeverInMyHeart said...

I vote for comfort! Life is tough enough without having to deal with uncomfortable clothing. I have no doubt you look pretty no matter what.

thejugglestruggle said...

I love this post for so many reasons. And "...bra-less boob level for sure" wins the "favorite phrase" award! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Bought 2 pairs from Von Maur after reading your post. Love them!!!

Anonymous said...

PS Congratulations on turning in the first draft of your book. What an amazing milestone!

Alison said...

My favorite pants/ jeans all have stretchy waistbands. Welcome to the club!

Bridget McCarthy said...

By any chance does the high waist band double as a steel gated corral to keep my 4-yr old post baby jiggly belly in check? Because then I would totally save money on shape wear. I mean, with a necklace and cute pair of shoes I could wear this to a wedding, right?

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