Saturday, June 16, 2012

Oozing with Love



Margaret has been away for a week having a blast with her cousins in Ohio. She comes home today, and I'm eager to see her. Not only because I missed my sweet girl a ton, which I did, but also because it's been a little weird not having someone around to comment on my appearance, my clothing, and especially my acne.

When I was growing up, that role was fulfilled by my older brother John. "Hey Schween-bag, can I carry your zit?" he would ask with a smile/sneer, stretching his arms out in front of him as if he carried a boulder. I think the proper grammar would have been, "May I carry your zit?" but he certainly made his point.

On the other hand, Tim could see an oozing pustule akin to Mt. Vesuvius on my face and say nary a word. I think he lives in fear of my reaction.

Before I married him, I informed him that while I would be a certain size on our wedding day, I wanted NO comments about weight throughout our marriage, either to me or to any of our future daughters. I had seen too many friends deal with the crushing burden of eating disorders and poor body image to tolerate any nonsense from a man who I believed, from peering into the crystal ball of my father-in-law's physique, would always hover around a spry 145 lbs and would never experience the bodily havoc of birthin' babies.

Knowing my penchant for jumbo bags of Twizzlers and Little Debbie Swiss Cake rolls, this promise could have bothered Tim, but he never let on, nor has he EVER commented on my weight, positively or negatively, in the past 20 years...even when I outweighed him by more than 40 lbs before (and after!) the birth of our scrawny baby Jack.

Sooooooo, I guess it's no surprise he does not dare comment on my adult acne.

Neither did Jack, who got many of his mild-mannered traits from his dear dad. I must tell you that a peri-pubescent (new word?) Jack did once say to me, "That shirt makes your boobs look big. But in a good way" which made me chuckle.

But from Margaret, who as a speech impaired toddler caressed my thigh and said, "'Dat bumpy MaMa," I can always count on a little zit commentary when applicable.

Which seems to be more and more often as I get older.

So I've missed her, of course. And I'm counting down the hours until I can give her a hug, at which point she can weigh in on the constellation of pimples on my chin and forehead and any/all embarrassing habits I may have picked up while she was gone.


P.S. If she asks you if I played with her hamster, Bear, while she was away, please say YES. Thanks.

54 comments:

lisa said...

This made me smile...such a typical mother-daughter relationship. Hope the reunion went well!

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

Ah, brothers and the differences between girls and boys. *sigh*
Wishing you a happy reunion with your lovely daughter and the best father's day possible for Tim.

A Speckled Trout said...

My sister and I were just discussing our girls. They will set you straight about how you look even when their opinion is not asked for. If you think you're rocking those jeans, ask your kid. Gosh, those poor mothers of boys......forever stuck in mom jeans and turtlenecks while we're in Forever 21 (forever) wishing we'd put a flask in our faux Kate Spade handbag.

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

My brother used to tell the waitress at our favorite Mexican restaurant that I didn't get my silver ware and then point to the gigantic wooden decorative ones on the wall and ask them to bring me those! Yep, it still makes me roll my eyes! And having my last child be a daughter, I completely know just what you are talking about... you're gonna wear that to the store??? To which I reply, yep wanna come with? I'll be thinking of you all tomorrow and glad that you are all back under one roof! Is Margaret going to church camp this year?

spedhead said...

Use some witch hazel on the zits and maybe she won't have much to say about them :) Have a wonderful reunion with baby girl and a nice day as you celebrate Tim.

Anonymous said...

You are the only other adult I know who will admit to eating Swiss Miss Cake Rolls. I appreciate that. (Try them frozen too!)

Annabelle said...

1. Murad

2. My mother used to say (often), "When you're face clears up, your mind goes fuzzy." Using that one regularly now myself.

HFD, Tim.

Gigi said...

Not having a daughter, my clothing choices are not often critiqued. But if I'm wearing something that my son feels is showing too much (which is ridiculous because I'm very conservative) he'll let me know that I should be wearing a habit!

Cassie @ Primitive & Proper said...

this cracks me up! kids are so honest! i think girls are made to find our faults though sometimes. ;) and i hope you and bear had a great time with all your playdates.

Mrs. E said...

Sounds about right. Yes, I love the daughters--their witty little commentary, not so much. However, when they compliment, it almost makes up for the rest.

Japolina said...

I think that your husband is great! My husband is like that. He thinks I'm cute even when I'm looking disgusting (or at least he says so!)

I'm sad for my girlfriends who, now that we are in our 40's, are afraid that their husbands won't like their more mature selves and are killing themselves with beauty appointments, crazy workouts, starvation and medical interventions to look great. They are starting to look a little scary. Be glad that your husband does not care about your zits!

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e/Mrs. Seaman) said...

The boobs comment made me laugh out loud.

My dad commented on my zits and any stray hair (there were plenty since I have naturally wavy-curly-crazy hair).

My brothers comment on my butt size and my crooked teeth until they started dating women with bigger butts and until my braces came off.

My husband points things out matter-of-factly, just like my dad. Sigh.

I don't have a daughter, but my niece gets mad when I point things out about myself that I don't like.

And last week she bought m sunglasses since I was too cheap to buy my own and because I'm guessing she did not approve of the WalMart shades I'd been wearing...

Hugs to Margaret!

Geri said...

Just wanted to say I love your writing. Every single word. Hope today isn't too brutal for everyone.

Donna said...

I bet it will be good to have her home! Thinking about you and sending out some extra love for Tim today.

Marguerite said...

I read your blog all the time and after reading this I had to chuckle!! I LOVE twizzlers and Little Debbie Swiss Rolls too! Oh ya, I am also married to a mild mannered Tim! Thank you so much for always letting us know how you and your family is doing....I think of all of you often.

LauraBeth said...

Sending HUGS to you all this day...

Anonymous said...

So happy to read that Miss Margaret had a good time in Ohio with her cousins!

Praying for all of you, and especially for Tim.

Why waste your time on Twizzlers and snack cakes when you could be having the really good stuff?? (That would be Junior Mints, washed down with ice-cold Diet Coke...)

Laura said...

1. Twizzlers and Swiss Cake Rolls ~ and here I thought I was alone in my penchant for those . . . thank you. I may just come out of the closet now.

2. Jack's boob comment had me laugh out loud.

3. Margaret might just be the coolest girl I know. (Thanks to your sharing of her antics, observations, and sage advice. ;-))

4. I love your sweet family.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Ha! Eleanor calls my adult acne my "boo boos" - as in, "you have a lot of boo boos Mommy." She's also informed me that my behind is HUGE. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

I fought with acne my whole life, even into my 40s. Ugh. Same big nasty pustules.
Then, I broke down and bought Bare Minerals makeup. Skin better within weeks and I ca honestly say I havent had a nasty breakout since, going on 6 years. The makeup isn't cheap, but neither is all the crap you have to buy to deal with zits. Give it a try.

Anonymous said...

Poor Margaret.

L said...

Glad you have Margz home, and can't wait to hear her commentary on, well, everything. Love you!!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Hope it was a perfect reunion yesterday. I am sure it's nice to have here home even if she is honest to a fault! ((HUGS))

JennyExplainsItAll.blogspot.com said...

Have you seen a dermatologist? There are dozens more (very effective) treatments than there used to be. It's not vain or frivolous to want clearer skin! Be prepared to try several different things before you find the one that works for you, but please don't suffer with acne unnecessarily. Don't let difficult skin be your hair shirt (and I mean that in the most supportive way!)

OSMA said...

I think I have a Margaret in the making. She told me this morning that I can repaint my toes any time now "because they look like broken dishes."

I bet you missed each other last week. Will be nice to catch up over cleansing creams and cucumber eyes.

Still thinking of Tim today while keeping windows open to let in the birdsongs.

xoxo

Dana @ Bungalow'56 said...

Thankfully my girls take after their dad and don't mention the pimples. Although every once in awhile they will ask what's on your face mom?
Dana

Anonymous said...

Thinking of your family today, especially Tim.

Claire Plante said...

Sitting here writing with a constellation of pimples on my forehead. At age 48. I actually think I have more now than when I was in high school. Lucky me!

The magnificent Suzy Q was always my "chocolate thing with white cream inside" choice. I think I am due for one now, since of course the pimples are an indicator of something else that still visits, despite my being 48. Sigh.

Your post today made me laugh out loud. Thank you for that. Nell is right on schedule with Margaret with the comments. Yet I do find myself turning to her when I really want to hear the truth about an outfit. It's brutal - but usually right on.

I hope Margaret had a great trip to Ohio - the Promised Land I call it, despite the rather boring views from the car window on I-70 or I-80 (I was born and raised there). I'm sure Margaret will be happy to see you and Tim too!

I was thinking of you today and sending Tim happy father's day blessings.

Love,
Claire

Stimey said...

Ah, the charm of daughters. :) What a good man, that Tim. I've been thinking of him on this father's day.

Also, that photo of Margaret? She is GORGEOUS.

Cat Alford said...

Thanks for the comment on my most recent post, Anna! I bet you loved how many times I started a sentence with "and" - haha! Why does it sound better to me that way? ;) P.S. I wish you were going to Haven but totally understand why you wouldn't want to. You will be missed.
xoxo
Cat

EatPlayLove said...

My 5yo is exactly the same way. Mom what's that on your chin? It's a pimple! What's a pimple? It's a zit. What's a zit? It's a blemish. What's a blemish...

Repeat non-stop....

Lady Jennie said...

My 8 year old daughter said, " you look like you have a baby in your belly mama." And then she gasped, "but I don't want to cause you pain!"

And my husband is also blessedly gentle about my weight and all my other flaws.

Welcome back M! :-)

goroes said...

absolutely love finding a new post and this one had me laughing out load.

i am a 30 mother of 2 and up until 2 years ago i was known to my husband lovingly as the product whore. you see i too suffered from adult acne. after seeing several dermatologists and trying EVERY single product known to mankind i changed my diet and the acne has vanished. i was shocked that no one ever brought this up with me before. if you are interested check out the paleo/primal lifestyle and read specifically about dairy and acne. Much love to you and your family. Enjoy your reunion with your sweet girl. Love!

cdrover said...

Ugh, adult acne. An unsolicited suggestion -- I went back on birth control recently at 46 and the acne disappeared. (Along with my psychotic hormonal mood swings. That was just a bonus for me and everyone else in my life. :)

God bless, Anna.

Anonymous said...

When I had zits as an adult, the kind lady who was giving me one of the rare facials I have experienced said that I needed to use a hydrating toner to make them stop. It seemed to work.

I am GLAD to hear that Margaret is having a blast with her cousins. And I hope that Tim is as free with his compliments as he is careful about other "observations."

love,
jbhat

Anonymous said...

you are so funny! love your writing, your thoughts - did you get a publisher yet???!!!!! hope Fathers Day was loving and peaceful for your family.

Princess Kate said...

I have a 5 year old daughter that ALWAYS tells me the TRUTH but she's the first one I turn to when I'm heading out the door. I always call her my REAL mirror.

I'm glad Margaret had a great time. I hope you and Tim had some special time together too. You all are always close in my thoughts.

Peace and prayers for you all.

Leslie said...

I bet it's wonderful to have Margaret back! I can't imagine the mother-daughter relationship from the mom standpoint... yet. Mine is only one. I like this age. Thank you for reminding me that while they will act like I did when I was living with my (poor, poor) mother, that there is much to miss, also.

Always praying for each of you, Anna.

kimberwidmer.com said...

Even though I'm not visiting as much, I am reading, just not commenting {sheesh, you have a LOT of commenters!!}. I love the poignant way in which you share. The posts from the last few days have been so sweet. Even though that word hardly sums up how I feel about you.
I will never forget where I was when I heard about Jack. I was surrounded by my entire family for a family gathering and I heard. I felt sucker punched, and to say even that makes me feel like my feelings are not even on the same wavelength of yours… but then why would they be.
Oh, this is just a rambly comment to let you know that I STILL pray for you continually. I thought of Tim on Sunday. And of course, you too. I love how you can still poke fun at the so-not-fun-adult-acne. I heart you, Anna. I have a daughter just like your Margaret and a son just like your Jack. Perhaps that's why that kick to the gut hurt so bad.
Sorry if I didn't say this right, but know that you are being lifted up, remembered, honored and loved.

Meredith Self said...

Awww, Margaret. :)

michelle said...

A hampster named Bear...I like that! We have a newly acquired hermit crab from the outer banks that my 5 year old named "lucky Steve"?! I don't have a clue. My daughter made this random comment the other day "I'm glad you dress like a mom. I hate it when moms try to dress like their daughters." Good to know, because I don't have the physique, cash, or energy to dress like anything else! :)

Karen Robinson said...

Margaret is so pretty. Yes, M, she played with Bear while you were gone!

Kara said...

My husband doesn't tell me about any of the things I don't have time to pay attention to, either. Like hair growing on my freakin' chin. My 12 year old daughter, though, brings me the Nads and tells me that its time to take care of the chin, lip and eyebrows. I am grateful for that, though. Hamsters are not my favorite, but Jack telling you your boobs looked big in a good way is my favorite!

marthaleone said...

Hi friend: For what it's worth, whenever I see you in person, in my mind I'm thinking, "she has the smoothest skin on her face." Zit or no zit, you're beautiful!!

Mexmom said...

Just leave it to my dad to buy me medicated soap and asking if I wanted the cream also. Gee thanks dad, nice way tp telling me I have zits!

Anonymous said...

Think about you often since finding your blog. I have a 13 yr old boy and hug him much tighter now. I came across the song Godspeed by Dixie Chicks. Thought maybe it would bring you some peace. Love to you, Kristine

Aimee said...

LMAO..... Thanks for the laugh, I needed it ! ;)

Princess Kate said...

Just stopping by to say I'm thinking and praying EXTRA hard tonight. Peace

macmac524 said...

You're such a good Mom....

Anonymous said...

Returning to let you know you remain in my prayers. So proud of you, and trusting that all is well with you.

Belief or unbelief, your readers believe in you.

dileepa dayan said...

she's dress are dutiful. i have also Delicious something

Laura at Ms. Smartie Pants said...

I had Taco Bell today in honor of you guys, you got me to craving it! :)that just never happens!

Kim Elkins said...

I laughed so hard over the last half of your post, I had to go fetch my inhaler to breathe :)

Kim @ A Brush of Whimsy said...

Hilarious :)