The past week has been challenging. We went to a baseball game to see Jack's team play his best friend's team. Ouch. Then we had the spring arts festival at school. Not only did it bring back lots of memories, including the way Jack and his friends talked the music teacher into adding a part to last year's performance so Jack could be a tumbleweed, but it was also brutal seeing Jack's sweet classmates play a song on their guitars. You see, all the 7th graders learned guitar this year. I was pissed that Jack didn't get to play guitar because I wasn't born yesterday and I know full well that a cute boy, even one who might not be the biggest, hunkiest guy on the block, will get the girls if he has soulful eyes (check!) and plays guitar (check!).
The highlight of the evening (seriously!) was Margaret's hilariously spot-on comic performance of a female cat whose love falls off a roof and dies and then is brought back to life during the funeral in the folk song "Don Gato." Strange topic, we know, but nothing surprises us anymore and she nailed it.
Now, as we enter the weekend, we face our town's Memorial Day carnival, which has always been a highlight for our family.
Craptastic. But we'll survive. I promise.
I want to leave you with a "God Wink" for the weekend. I have so many of these to share, and I hope you find them encouraging.
A few months ago, my fellow Monkees at Glennon's AMAZING blog Momastery, put together a goody bag for us that centered around a jaunt to Leesburg, a quaint nearby town. They were hoping that an afternoon away would be an opportunity for us to make some new memories, and it was. We took Margaret and a friend and went out to lunch and to a few adorable shops. The second one we entered was a French kitchen-type store, and I soon noticed there were large ceramic cicadas all over the walls. Not the most attractive things, but you know my affinity for cicadas, and how they remind me of Jack, so I was pleased. I was chuckling about that when Margaret's friend went straight to the greeting cards, pointed to a single one in front, and said, "This one's cool."
Indeed. Now it's on our fridge.
Old memories. New memories. Lasting Love.
44 comments:
love you Anna. You are doing hard things with an impossible amount of grace. You are my hero.
How wonderful...love Leesburg. Thinking of you all this weekend.
Love the card...a wink from God (and Jack), indeed!!
Try to enjoy the new memories among your old ones this weekend....
Chills.........these happeings can't just be coincedences....they just can't!!!!!!!!
Hugs
Luv2run
I have always loved the song "Don Gato"!!
I have never met you, and probably never will, but your family is on my heart often. I'm sorry this weekend will be hard. I pray for moments for you to remember Jack with a smile, and honor his life by finding joy.
Anna, we've never met (I live in England!) but I have been following your blog for a while and have been continually holding your family in my heart since your loss of Jack, and I just wanted to share with you that yesterday, as I was reading your blog, I happened to look up into my garden and saw a small brown bird, with the boldest blue wings. I've never seen such a bird before, least of all in my garden, but he hopped around out there happily the entire time I was reading.
Sending you and your family love and peace.
Ax
Oh, fond memories of singing Don Gato when I was a kid. I second Zoey, the first commenter, in remarking on your "amazing grace." Thank you for sharing another wink with us. I love that Jack finds ways to let you know he is with you and always will be. I read your blog because I like you and think you are interesting and funny, but mostly because you share these winks. I find them very comforting. I know they must be so comforting to you! Thank you.
Anna-God Bless you and your family on this Memorial Weekend. You inspire me so.
-Falls Church Neighbor
Anna,
Although we don't know each other, I have been been following your journey for a little while now. Since a couple of months after the accident. For a number of reasons, I have never commented before. My heart absolutely tears apart for you and your family and I have quite literally thought of you every day since I began reading. But in many ways, I just couldn't bring myself to comment.
For one, I started following your story when my son was about 5 months old and I just found it so hard to fathom an existence where I was enjoying my new son and you were mourning the loss of yours. For another, I have never been a particularly spiritual person, but both the birth of my son and the incredible stories of your Jack have caused some serious contemplation for me.
Then today, I just had to reach out to you. My son will be one year old next week. I was just feeding him lunch (I am on the West Coast of Canada) and he was babbling and pointing excitedly out the window. So, I asked him what he saw and he said "bird". This is his first real word, besides ma-ma.
This just made me think of Jack and you and then I went on and saw this post. I know that this little story may not really mean much in the scheme of things. But I wanted you to know that, even though I never knew Jack, the memories of him you so graciously share mean something. I can only hope that I will have the kind of relationship with my Josh that you enjoyed with your Jack and that he will grow to embody some of the wonderful qualities of your son.
Continued thoughts of love and peace for you and your family.
Jodi
Thinking of you Anna!
Wow, that is such a groovy card for so many reasons. Not only is it super cosmically so "Jack", but it's so funny yet stylish at the same time. And how nice of the Momastery ladies to do such a nice thing for your family. It's amazing how much support you have, though we all wish you would not need it and just had Jack instead. So glad Jack is communicating with you any way he can. Rare Bird, indeed.
All I can say is "Wow" God truly does work in mysterious ways.....what else could it be. I have read that there is no such thing as a "coincidence"
God does have a way of sending us signs. "Godincidences"
Happy to hear that Maragret did a great job on her performance. I wish things could be different for you. ((HUGS))
I will be thinking about you all weekend and praying for all sorts of comforting signs from your rare bird. Blessings Anna (and family).
Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous. Albert Einstein
goose bumps...continued blessings
I need to become a monkee... that sounds fun. Love you Anna. And STILL waiting to hear about lunch...
You'll be in my prayers througout the weekend. That's an amazing card.
There are NO coincidences in life.
Surely we BOTH know that by now.
xxx
Wow. Jacks presence is constantly around u. It's truly amazing. Always thinking of your Rare Bird.....and you.
theresa o.
WOW, this one gave me chills! You all are in my thoughts, always.
I'm also a new follower and am amazed at your courage and generosity to share your beautiful son. I'm all for "winks" and get chills when I hear others speak of them.
Enjoy your family now and then as you recall the wonderful memories that you all share.
Prayers and hugs to your family always. Seeing that card is amazing. Hope it comforts you too.
Phew, chills. Praying for yall often. Thinking of your rare bird often. xoxo
Amazing!
Yeah for Margaret!! Yeah for all of you keeping on when it is so painful!
And yeah, double yeah, for Jack finding ways to let you know you are not alone or forgotten. You continue to touch my life. Thank you for sharing your strength, weakness, happiness, sadness and anger. In the sharing there is comfort for everyone.
Sending prayers and love - I check on your blog and please know you and your family are in my heart.
i still find it all so amazing.
just as amazing is the strength of your spirit in the face of such tragedy. that also fills me with awe.
love to you!
I spent last weekend in Falls Church for 2 of my sons graduations. I live inNj but visit there often. I always think of you because I met you at an outdoor sale at the antique store. I bought a few things from you and you gave me your card. I have been reading your blog and just want you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. I lost my sister when I was eight and she was six. I can especially feel Margaret's pain(my name as well) You amaze me and encourage me with your faith and you have helped me deal with my niece's 2 year old daughter's cancer. My heart goes out to you...
You amaze me with your ability to carry on the way that you do. God works in such amazing ways and it is very evident that He's doing great works in you in spite of all the pain. Stay strong!
On the way to the fair yesterday, I was looking out the window and saw all of Jacks blue ribbons, and my heart ached for you all. I hope and pray that your weekend has gone well. The cicadas you found and the card are so awesome, so cool to find those! <3
Anna...
Keeping you all in my prayers, and continuing to send love and hugs from the other side of town....
Yes, you guys will definitely survive. Love that card.
Feeling like Jack is watching, for sure. :-))
Wishing you a smooth, sweet Memorial Day.
thinking of you this weekend! glad you enjoyed leesburg and that you made some new memories. all my love!! xoxo
Oh shoot! Why didn't I remember that when I saw the porcelain cicadas everywhere in Provence? I was too busy trying to figure out what they meant to the South of France, the history, etc.
I did, however, think of Jack and that day last night as I was falling asleep. You guys are never far from my mind.
"Rare Bird." Unbelievable, and yet not. Love you.
Just stopping by to let you know that you and your dear family have been in my thoughts and prayers this weekend.
You always are.
Love the card!
Hugs! I'm glad you caught that wink. And that it continues to wink at you from your fridge.
love,
jbhat
Awhile ago, one of your readers said that the veil between this life and the next is so thin. I have thought of that a thousand times. I had never heard that before and I found it very comforting. Perhaps that is why you get so many signs.........Jack is ever close by. Just on the periphery and keeping watch over all of you.
The last time I read your blog was months ago, before the death of Jack. I was led to it by Young House Love one bored night. I remember thinking you were funny, and obviously had a perfectly imperfect little family, and I was glad to see a Christian woman blogger. But I have no children yet and was only 23 years old, so I didn't add you to the list of blogs I regularly check. Tonight I went back to YHL's list of blogs to re-find some of the ones I had enjoyed, and I landed on yours. I was shocked to see that this funny blog had been changed forever by Jack's accident. I'm so so sorry for your loss.
The odd thing is that I've inexplicably had one of the saddest days I've had in quite some time. I sobbed uncontrollably this morning in front of my husband for no apparent reason. And I've just recently been getting mass texts from a woman whose 14 year old son passed away ten years ago of muscular dystrophy, which I've always been troubled by since we went to youth-group together. It was the anniversary of his death a few days ago, and her daughter has just passed the age he was when he died. Your post about what to say to a grieving person gave me the nudge I needed to text her back and tell her my memories of her son. Thank you!
I guess I just want to say that you can add me to the list of your God-fearing supporters. I admired you back then, before the accident, and I admire you now for continuing to blog and heal and be a mother to your daughter and wife to your husband through it all. Thinking of you...
You are so strong Anna, the way you carry your grief and Jack's memory with such grace.
Margaret's character. Really?!?! You all amaze me.
I imagine everywhere you turn are memories.
Oh, my heart. Rare bird. How perfect.
I wanted to drop by and say how amazing I think you are. I read here regularly but rarely comment.
To go to the Memorial Day carnival you speak of here had to be one of the bravest things I can imagine. My husband is from the same town so we were there too as every year...family tradition and all. {pretty sure I spotted you but was too akward/embassed to say hi}. I can only imagine being in your shoes and I am pretty sure I would have locked myself away from the world vs. manuevering through this tragedy with the grace you have.
We drove by my husband's childhood home {as every year} on our way back to our house and I was instantly brought to tears by all of the blue ribbons in the neighborhood...not a mailbox was without one.
Just know that, each and every day, your neighbors {and even strangers} thoughts and prayers are with you.
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