Thursday, December 3, 2009

What's-Up Pre-Nup?

Without saying anything more about the whole scandal, I would like to mention that Tiger and Elin Woods are currently reviewing their pre-nup. Tom and I do not have a pre-nup because with my teaching school and his being in grad school, there wasn’t a whole lot to consider, finance-wise, and we figured, correctly, that we'd never be rich and famous. We did, however, go to a few hours of pre-marital counseling to discuss our wants/needs in marriage.

You may remember from an earlier post, that Tom’s primary need in our marriage was “Clean Counters.”

I must say that I have done swimmingly on this front. While they are sometimes cluttered , our counters are almost always clean. I wield my Method spray bottle as a woman on a mission to make the house smell like cucumber-melon and to keep my husband satisfied.

As he approaches his 40th birthday, Tom has begun to wonder if he really chose the best “Need” to head up his marriage list. He claims he didn't really understand the question. This morning he asked me if we could re-negotiate in light of this confusion and his upcoming milestone birthday.

I believe he was alluding to a different kind of need, perhaps in the Lovin’ department. Maybe he wanted to address frequency, such as amending it with, “on the occasion of a full lunar eclipse, not just a solar one.” Perhaps clean counters do not provide him the kind of satisfaction he once envisioned.

So I ask you, should I hold him to the original 1996 agreement of “Clean Counters,” or should I take pity on the guy and re-negotiate? Is this like being granted 3 wishes and then using one wish to ask for 3 more? Because I never really thought that was kosher.

18 comments:

Heidi said...

Loved this. You got me with the sonar vs lunar eclipse. I don't know...it may be time to revisit that contract.

I so enjoy your writing.

Kristina P. said...

I have a very good friend whose mother-in-law told her she had to sign a prenup before marrying her son. That caused WWIII.

Lori said...

clean counters vs. sex hmm... that's a toughie. i hate cleaning up, so that's really a toughie. :)

Anonymous said...

I want you to write a book someday, pulling all of this excellent and hilarious material together in one place for ALL to enjoy, not just us lucky blog readers who happened to have stumbled across your site.

In our house, my husband is the keeper of the clean counters. I wonder what this means in relation to our conjugal...relations.

jbhat

Glennon said...

maybe you could just make out on the counters? all the flinging things off might speed up the cleaning process?
two birds, one stone..

Masala Chica said...

glennon - that's two "responsibilities" now. I don't know. Give em a foot, they'll ask for a yard. (or as I like to say - give him some play today, he'll expect it's here to stay).

besides counter cleaners are very astringent on the skin - don't mess with that Anna.

Stay strong during renegotiations.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

He deserves a mulligan on this one. Renegotiate. What's your mulligan gonna be?

KEEP BELIEVNG

Oonafey said...

Naughty.

I say let him renegotiate. He has put up with a lot in the last 13 years. (So have you, but that's a different renegotiation, right?)
You are so funny!

Lynn said...

He sounds like a keeper so I'd redo the needs list. You get to revisit your, too, don't you?
BTW I am impressed with your faux mud room

Kelee Katillac said...

Hi Anna!

I was wondering about it too?! How do you redo a pre-nup--what's the point?


love, kelee

Sokphal said...

There's always room for editing. You could compromise. Maybe include add when the moon is waning and waxing in there as well. You are hilarious. :)

EatPlayLove said...

I'm thinking no deal, unless there's something sweet in it for you as well. If so, start the bidding.

Lynn from For Love or Funny said...

I agree with EatPlayLove. In order to renegotiate, there's gotta be something good in it for you.

I'd say you have a world of possibilities to choose from...

Christy said...

I would totally let him TRY to renegotiate, because you NEVER really know what he's going to ask for right? You would have never guessed clean counters, right?!

And then tell us how it goes, of course.

I loved this post - sooo funny.

Mwa said...

What you have there, dear, is LEVERAGE. Ah, the things you could get out of him...

rebecca @ older and wisor said...

Loved this.

NO REVISITING.

I say: All sales are final. No refunds. No exchanges.

And the whole cookin' on the counter (so to speak)thing sounds great in theory but then your butt gets cold, somebody pulls a hamstring, a child comes down to the kitchen for a drink.....

Or so I've heard. ;)

Madge said...

if you make the full lunar eclipse, not just the solar one deal -- don't tell my husband....i've got that contract totally tied up.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I would need more specifics about time of day. Since you mentioned this conversation starting in the morning - that set off a major red flag for me. Unlike 95% of the rest of the human race, I loathe morning sex with its associated bad breath and bright sunlight. Fine for gorgeous movie stars in flattering light - not so much for me. I can't stand morning breath. I like morning sleep.