Okay, so I’m still a bit sick, and I’m swamped at work, so I thought I’d make you do the hard part here and toss out
Today’s Flatulence Etiquette Question for you.
If you are shopping in a crowded store and are suddenly overwhelmed by a holy heck awful-- so bad you can taste it-- smell in your general vicinity do you:
A. Ignore it, hope the burning sensation in your eyes goes away, and keep shopping?
B. Crinkle up your nose in a delicate manner to show that while you do acknowledge there is a putrid smell around you, you are not the source?
C. Wave your hand a little in front of your face, as in “Whew, that was a bad one?”
Issues I have with the above:
A. Does this make me look oblivious as in, perhaps one snuck out and I didn’t even notice?
B. My preference, but I’m afraid it might be a little insensitive to the guilty party should he/she notice. Also, does crinkling my nose smack of, “Whoever smelt it dealt it?”
C. Just seems a bit rude, as well as artificially chummy. I’m here to shop people, not bond.
So which one is it? Or is there another option I’ve not considered?
And to add a wee little wrinkle, what if I just happened to be bending over a stack of china plates at the time the smell originated? Does this incriminating posture negate all of the above options?
Would acknowledging the odor in any way at this point reek of, “Methinks thou dost protest too much?" At this point would it be better to just slink away?