Barbie Without a Beach Blanket

Jake: “Mom, if Molly’s naked Barbies were in a movie but they were real people, like teenagers, and instead of being in the tub, they were like, at a beach, would the movie be rated R or X?”

Mom: “Um, X, I think.”

Jake: “I thought so.”

Note to moms everywhere: if you have a pile of naked Barbies in the house because they are marketed to girls who are far too young to have the dexterity or follow-through to dress them in their teeny tiny clothes, you may want to think twice before you leave them lounging around in the family bathtub.

If you’ve, ahem, gotten so sick of the little shoes and wetsuits and hotpants that you threw them all away in a cleaning frenzy, you may want to get off your rear and dispose of the dolls themselves, too. What may look innocent to a little girl or her mom could scream X rated movie to others in the house. And if you have Bratz, go ahead and toss them, clothed or unclothed. I’ve heard those girls are hussies.