Not Such A Bargain?

My friend Cynthia wanted an update on the table and chairs I got at the thrift shop last Monday. Their auspicious beginning has not turned out to be so wonderful. When I borrowed a pick-up truck to go get the table, the thrift shop guys had taken it apart down to the smallest piece and it was a heap of wood and screws on the ground. Although this would have been easier for me to transport and get inside the house, I had them put it back together to make sure it would, indeed, go back together. When I got it home, it sat in the carport for 4 days.

A monsoon blew through on Friday night and the table got soaked. I was so mad that we let the table get trashed in the rain! When Tom and I brought it in on Saturday, it smelled disgusting. With the rain, a simple musty odor had morphed into the pungent smell of cigarettes, cat pee and as Tom said, “nasty taxi cab.” This is right about when my stomach flu symptoms showed up.

Not sure if the hulking, smelly table in my living room is making me sick, or whether my illness is making the table smell more disgusting. Okay, I need to stop writing about this or I’ll have to run out of the room. Let’s just say that a complete dining room set for $44.00 was looking awesome, but now I would be willing to pay to get it out of here to breathe in peace while I wallow on the couch. The buy of the century? Maybe next time.

FYI

It is not a good idea to watch Rachael Ray's cooking show while suffering from the stomach flu.

A Bit Warped

Am I the only one who gets a little freaked typing in those security codes when buying or posting something on the internet? I start second guessing-- is that really a Q? I know they are all wiggly and distorted for a reason, so other computers can't copy them, but I never know if I'm typing them in right. I guess the whole process leaves me feeling a little...insecure.

Going Out of Business

I drove by a mom and pop jewelry store today and saw it was going out of business. I feared this would happen, as I had never seen anyone going in and out. A sign proclaiming “Body Jewelry” went up a few months ago, in an effort to attract new customers, but I guess it was not meant to be.

Do you have a store or a restaurant in your town that constantly changes hands? This jewelry store has been an antique/thrift store, insurance agency, wild bird food store, and, when I was a little girl, a pet store called “The Goldfish Bowl.” I know several restaurants that change every few years or so, too. It breaks my heart, because of course I see it as dashed dreams and mounds of debt. I guess I don’t help when I go to chain restaurants, Target and Wal-mart. Did I darken the door of this little place to help keep it going? No. I’m not even sure what body jewelry is.

I did have an interesting encounter with the place years ago when it was in antique/thrift shop mode. My kids were babies, and on a beautiful, warm fall day I was pushing them in their double stroller. I was feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t have a mom to help me with the kids, to give me a break, even for just five minutes. As I passed the storefront, I saw a sign “Opening Soon,” and, to my amazement, two very familiar chairs in the window. They were two chairs from my childhood home that I had sold years before for $10 each when I had to move out. Was this a sign?

Here I was missing my mom so much, and there were her chairs sitting in the window! I had always regretted selling them. Who knew rattan would be hot again? And, I felt comforted that my mom might be dead, but she was never far from me. I imagined myself going into this adorable new store, buying the chairs back for a semi-inflated price, and having a great story to tell when the kids got older.

A few weeks passed, and when the store opened I went in. A chat with the owner told me this little store was, indeed, her dream. I didn’t mention that that storefront had changed hands so many times she might not linger long. Never did the words cursed or blighted cross my lips. I hoped her dream would come true.

I did tell her the neat story about the chairs and how they had given me hope on a discouraging day. Could I please buy them back? No dice. They may have been part of my plans, but they were part of hers too. For 5 years they had sat in her shed while she plotted having a little shop of her own. She pictured herself and a friend sipping tea, sitting in the chairs, tending a quaint little shop one day. Not for sale.

What do you do when your dream is at odds with someone else’s? For me, I shut my mouth, bought a few small items (that were also "mine" from that fateful yard sale years before) and left. It was only a matter of months before the shop was no more.

Yes, I feel terrible when I see another “Going out of business” sign, and I fear we may be seeing more and more these days. And how I wish I had gotten my chairs back before that one store was gone.

Things That Don't Do It For Me

Some bloggers share a list of 100 things about themselves. A list that long about me would bore you to tears. Since I'm feeling lazy today, however, I thought I'd share a few things that I don't really like. Sorry to start w/ the negative. I'll put together a "stuff I like" blog soon.

Lice

Front doors with Oval glass windows in them.

Vinyl siding --I didn’t say I don’t have it, just that I don’t like it .

Precious Moments figurines

The word “Ginormous” --I’ve tried to say it a couple of times, but it just isn’t a good fit for me. Kind of like the tube top I tried to wear last summer

Skulls for Halloween decorations --This stems from a trip to London about 18 years ago. Some loser was selling REAL skulls on the street. How disrespectful. I’ve been scarred ever since.

Underwear that doesn’t fit right

Blisters

Snacks before, during and after kids’ sporting events—and practices. Hello! What happened to water and orange slices during half-time?

Mornings

When people say, “___ years of age” instead of “____ years old.”

When people say, “Give it to Donna and I” instead of “Donna and me.” Does sounding fancy make it right? I think not. Or, when they are a little gun-shy and they say, "Give it to Donna or myself."

When people say, “At this point in time” instead of “Now.”

The phrases “Bring it!” and “Bring it on!” It just sounds so aggressive. It stresses me out.

Suburban teenage girls who talk tough (see "Bring it on" above)

When I act like a jerk

Alcohol in my sweets-- rum cake, alcohol in wedding cakes, etc.

Designer originals and prices

Legalism

Moms judging other moms

Superhero movies

My nose

All right, "a few" turned into quite a list. I feel like such a grouch for having written all of this. What things just don't do it for YOU?

My Ride

My car is making weird noises. Tom and I have not budgeted for a new car, so we hope this one will last until next fall, when it will be 11. Not that I wouldn’t like a new car. My ’99 minivan, purchased in fall of ’98, is spartan at best. No power windows, no remote locks, none of that push one button and the doors open and close stuff either. In fact, this minivan seems more like a “cargo van” than a family car because the only air vents are in the front seat.

Jake, who has been in the “way back” for the past 9 1/ 2 years, has never had the benefit of heating or cooling. The sound system is an AM/FM radio. I remember shortly after buying it thinking I would put in a “tape deck.” A few years later, I amended this to putting in a cd player. Instead, it just remained radio.

I do not think I’ll be getting another van, although I do find all the new bells and whistles they have intriguing. Dual movie screens, I-Pod docks, seats that fold into the floor, safety features such as air bags? Right on. Remote lift-gate opening would be handy too, but I’ve had this van so long my kids have grown to the point where they can do most of that opening and closing stuff themselves anyway.

Besides, I’ve been doing the van thing since I was 18 when I inherited my mom’s. Sure, it was fun to see how many sorority sisters could cram into a minivan (please, no puking!), but after 20 years, the bloom is off the rose. I’ve had exactly 2 cars in my life, and I would like to make sure I get to drive something other than a van before I die.

You may wonder how we ended up with such a plain-Jane car in the first place. I was pregnant with Jake and we knew we needed a new van. I was teaching school and Tom was in graduate school, so money was tight. We picked the cheapest model. We didn’t mind that it didn’t have power anything, because we reasoned, “All that electronic stuff just breaks and would cost us a ton to fix.” Yes, we made this statement in 1998, not 1958.

It has been a great car. I am so familiar with it, I can squeeze into the tiniest parking spaces, even in parking garages. I know exactly how much cargo space I have for thrifting and dumpster diving. Today I managed to squeeze in 8 dining chairs, a high chair and several bags of groceries after a spontaneous trip to the thrift store. Tom, if you are reading this, I’ll explain when you get home. They were such a great deal it would have been a crime not to buy them. Seriously.

Any suggestions for a great family car that’s NOT a minivan? I am thinking Saturn Outlook or GMC Acadia.

"Good Academics and Some Moral Respects"

I started to dip my toe in the water about getting a job last night. As I perused the Craigslist want ads, one caught my eye. I was mighty excited about the subject matter and the salary. Perhaps getting back into the work force wouldn’t be as hard as I thought. I sent off an email. This is the response I got today:

“Hello Tutor,
Thanks for replying back to my online job posting, requiring your tutorial service for my son, I would like to make a tutoring arrangement between you and my son for the month of October 2008, I would like you to tutor him within a period of 1month, on a schedule basis of 1hr Daily, 3 times weekly, totaling 12 times in a month. I am willing to pay $70/hr. I would like to use these medium to inform you that my son dont live in the US, he would be flying from Australia to the US, I want you to teach him during his 1 month stay in the US, if there is need to extend your services, an ammedment would be made to your salary. The Local Library close to your location, would be your meeting place with him, he would be dropped off/picked up by his nanny during the hours of teaching.

Payment Terms & Condition:You would be receiving a check drawn from a Bank in the US, from my business associates in the US, since i am from Australia and Australia payments wont be honoured in a bank in the US, These check would be made out for the cost of the tutorial services you are rendering, and also for the living expense, nanny fees of my son.

Regarding this- I hope i can trust you with these payments, as the payment would be made out in excess, so all you have to do is process and cash the payment instantly at your bank, deduct your tutorial service fee, which should be $70 per hour X 12 Times a Month = $840 i would include an additional $100 for run around fee and any additional text book you might be needing- so $940 is what you deduct from the check you receive , whatever the remaining balance is after deduction of the $940 go ahead and deduct Money Gram transfer sending charges for sending out the remainder to the Nanny who would be contacting you with futher arrangements and instructions regarding pickup/drop off of my son to the library where you would always teach him.

So i hope i can trust you that you will teach my son good academics and some moral respects so that they can be good to their self in the future, i hope i can count on you for the tutorial and the money to be sent to the Nanny. I look forward to read a detailed message from you containing the following information, if you are OK with my arrangements, terms and condition.


Full Name.
Mailing Address including Zip Codes ( no PO Box pls ).
Cell No ( If Available ).
Home No.
Gender.
D.O.B.
Marital Status.
Best Time to Call.
Present Job Status.
Email.

N.B My sons Name is Bill Jr, He is actually coming to the US for sight seeing, but while he is here i want him to study at the same time, he understand english, can write and read fluently i just need his grammar, reading and writing upgraded,

Thanks for your Understanding.Bill Christopher.”


I’m glad to see that Mrs. Mary Williams of Nigeria, whose pleading missives regularly fill my in-box, is diversifying. Bill Christopher, Esquire from Australia? Oh boy. I’m not super psyched that he/she has my name and email address, all because I finally bothered looking for gainful employment. I can't wait to see what other gems are going to flood my computer in the coming days.

My job confidence was already faltering, and now I have to get spammed, or phished, or robbed or whatever you want to call it on my first attempt out. Of course the teacher side of me feels like helping poor Australian Bill with his letter writing skills. Maybe I’ll just stay home and blog more often.