I wrote this post in my head last night as I stewed and tossed and turned unable to sleep. Gotta love a post like that, which eventually turns into a dream about some doggie beauty pageant or something weird like that in which I am inexplicably involved.
Anyway, the blog post was mostly an incoherent rant, which would make it not much different than my regular Monday musings, so let's dive in!
It dealt with the bumpy, no, HELLISH re-entry we've experienced since my dear daughter returned after a week with her cousins in Ohio. All week we missed her, mused on her endearing qualities, and prayed for a good trip. Within 5 minutes of her return, we were ready to send her packing again. Apparently, her father, brother, and I are idiots, worth no more respect than a dried booger on the underside of a school desk, while her cousins have the perfect family. Aargh.
Which makes me think of punishments. We have taken away computer time from Jake for a week due to some low marks on his report card-- you know the categories that deal with respecting authority and doing one's best? This is one of the "Who gets punished more, the mom or the kid?" scenarios. It's going to be a long week. I sure hope one of you has read a recent and well-documented article that proves that removing screen time in June improves school performance come September. If so, please forward it to me.
Which leads me to parenting and spousal frustration. Since day one, Tom and I have had different parenting philosophies. His is based on control, while mine is more loosey-goosey, although I do like structure. I want the kids to do what's right, because it's what's right. He wants to give them charts and rewards and punishment. I know my way has flaws, and I know his does too. I tend to base my parenting on the WHY (she's frustrated, he's tired, etc) of a situation and he bases his more on the WHAT (the action).
We each pull from our own childhood experiences. When I was Molly's age I acted like a raging lunatic, but my mother would not punish me for it. As I've written here before, she would just let me spin out of control in my own dramatic way, until I realized no one was getting wrapped around the axle except me. Then I would calm down, sulk off with a book, and be ready to behave well, or not, the next time around. I could re-enter the family covenant without having to dissect what I had done. Tom's family utilized grounding, paid for good grades, and had charts about earning tv time and the like.
The thing is, while this causes a lot of conflict between the two of us, if you look at the 6 kids who came out of these differing environments, some binge drank, some did not, some tried their best in school, some did not, some attend church, some don't. All went to college and received advanced degrees. All grew up, had children, and are now navigating this parenting thing themselves. We all turned out pretty great, so I don't think there's only ONE way to parent.
But Tom's and my relationship seems brittle these days. We are annoying the heck out of each other. I know I can type that here, even though he reads this blog, because when you have been together almost 20 years, it's foolish not to acknowledge that there are ups and downs.
Our latest battle centers around having a TV in the bedroom. I want one; Tom doesn't. There are just times when I want to watch tv in bed. I also want another option when the downstairs tv is on baseball. Ugh. We are at an impasse, but I am super-annoyed that I've given in on this one for the past million or so years. I feel my blood boiling when I think about it.
Which leads to my health, and the fact that 3 weeks ago I joined a small group focusing on health and wellness. I was sick of my back hurting, of staying up too late, and of eating crap. I made a list of goals:
1. Get more sleep 2. Eat better 3. Drink Water 4. Lose 6 lbs 5. Take Vitamins 6. Pray 7. Improve relationship with God and my family 8. Increase libido
So here we are, three weeks in, and I've GAINED SIX POUNDS! Inconceivable! That which I wanted to lose, I have now found. Sheesh. Now my pants don't fit and my bra cups runneth over, again.
And speaking of item # 8, libido, this is the rambling thought that came to my mind as I tossed and turned last night. Prepare to be creeped out to the max.
My brain:
"Well, I hope Tom doesn't expect to get romantic tonight just because it's Father's Day! I mean, it's not like he's MY father."
Ewwww!
I think I need more sleep.