Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I'd Like to Thank the Academy

I was reading one of my favorite blogs today, one that has about 750 registered followers to my 12.

Shout out to the 12: You rock! Please keep reading. Shout out to my older sister: Please figure out how to register so I can get to lucky 13!

Anyway, this blogger was talking about how she had been nominated for the Blogger’s Choice Best Humor Blog award, and she encouraged us to vote for her and others we might know in the blog world.

At the end of her post, I saw the words “And ANNA! Don’t forget to vote for Anna.”

No. Couldn’t be, could it? Could I be the Anna she was talking about? Sure every little girl age 6 and under is named Anna these days, but in the 30-something blogger set? Not such a common name.

I let a glimmer of hope enter my head that not only did a famous blogger consider me one of her special peeps, she was putting my name in ALL CAPS and asking her legions of followers to vote for me for an award I not only didn’t know existed, but I didn’t know I was nominated for. Heady moments, heady moments.

When I followed the link, I quickly saw that not only am I not the Anna in question, the Anna in question is ridiculously funny, and just gained a vote and a new subscriber: ME.

My confession today is that I have a long history of being a weird melding of total insecurity and self aggrandizement all rolled into one big dysfunctional package.

While I have oodles of insecurities and get stressed rising to what some might see as the tiniest challenge, I also expect accolades for the most minor achievement, real or perceived. Sounds a lot like the generation of children we are supposedly raising. Ahead of my time, perhaps?

I remember sitting in the CafĂ©-torium in grade school, having just won the coveted Leadership Award at the 6th grade banquet. I didn’t consider myself any great leader, but it felt great to be recognized for something, and I must admit I had the whole sweaty palm, nervous excitement thing happening right up until they announced my name.

Next, the announcer said she had one more award to present. “This is for a special girl in 6th grade who has shown dedication and determination beyond her years.” The wheels started spinning? Could it be? Two awards in a row?

Dedication and Determination? Well, I did quit piano lessons, but maybe they didn’t know about that yet. And, as the youngest child, I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until 1st grade, content to have my friend Yvonne do it for me. In fact, I still couldn’t dive into a pool because I didn’t want to look stupid trying. Oh well—details, details!

She continued, “This student woke up before dawn every day to hone her special skills.” Before dawn? Hone? Maybe some of the facts were altered ever so slightly, but I could still picture that fancy red white and blue ribbon around my neck for whatever (dubious) distinction I was about to be awarded.

She concluded, “One day this young woman will be a world-famous figure skater and we can say we knew her when! Cathy DePaul, come accept your award.” Okay, so she lost me at world-famous figure skater.

However, I’m convinced if the announcer had started with, “This student was born a poor black boy, son of sharecroppers in rural Georgia,” I still would have been on the edge of my seat, ready to claim my award. Why? Why? Why?

Both Molly and Jake have confessed to me in quiet moments of snuggling, that this has happened to them, too: Jake when he was certain his Pinewood Derby car was going to win the design award for his Cub Scout Pack, and Molly, when she thought she would earn a solo, or duet, or trio, or any speaking part in one of the school concerts.

Molly whispered, “Right before they say the winner, Mom, I really think ‘It’s me, it’s me, It’s gotta be me.’ Then it’s not, and I feel like crying, but I don't, and I feel like pretending I never wanted it in the first place.”

Ahhhh. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. I hear ya’, sister.


Unknown said...

Well I would nominate and vote for you. I love reading your blog. You are indeed funny, and I always get my daily chuckle when I stop by. I need to take some lessons and make mine a bit more funny!

oh, and don't worry, your 12{hopefully soon to be lucky 13} beat out my 7. haha.

Shawn said...

I'm with you....I am always pretending that I didn't really want it in the first place.

Besides, as followers go---its the QUALITY of the followers, not the QUANTITY!!!!

Thats what I keep telling myself, anyway.

Anonymous said...

If I could vote for you more than once I would!

I never wanted to walk up to a stage to win any awards... I simply view myself as the unsung hero in every situation. It's a win-win situation. No matter whose name is called, I get to give myself accolades for all the loving support I offered to get them there.
I am sure I need psychotherapy to unpack this problem :)

Was I your first subscriber? When you win something, I may need that information so I can take a little credit :)

L said...

Oh Molly, I sooooo hear you! :)

Lisa G said...

Liz - Let me know when you figure out how to register. It took me months to figure out how to post comments.

Anna - You've always been a winner to me! BTW - Whatever happened to Chicken Pudding?

Christy said...

Great post. Proud to be one of the 12. I totally relate to that feeling too - it's got to be me, it just has to! But alas, it rarely was....

You are REALLY funny Anna. The description of your sixth grade self was hysterical!

So, I've just nominated you for best parenting blog - I should have nominated you for best humor blog but I spaced and didn't. Ugh. Sorry! Someone else could nominate you for that!

As soon as it goes live (they accept my nomination) I'll vote for you. Then you have to go grab the button and put it on your side bar and your 12 peeps will all vote for you. (I need to ask my peeps to vote for me too - for best blog about stuff.)

Are you one of Kate's underdogs yet? You should send her the link to the nomination site and a few of your favorite posts. :)

Debbie said...

I'm on a confessing role today so here go two more:
1. I have always done the same thing and now I do it if I am in the audience and I think they may be calling out my kids. It's a wonder I don't have ulcers on my ulcers.
2. I was at the same site yesterday and clicked through hoping the Anna was you! No joke.

Mags said...

I read that post, and I wondered if you were the nominated one!!! I enjoy your posts and would vote for you too.

Gretchen said...

Oh, I am so feeling ya, sister. The only difference is, I actually do cry and am not ashamed to admit that I want an award! I want it! give it to me!!

And, for what it's worth, I've pumped up your blog to my readers in the past... I think you're da bomb. I love your writing.

Heidi said...

I loved this! Loved it. It made me laugh. It's like accepting awards with your shampoo bottle...who hasn't done that?

Amber aka: AmBam, Amborghini, Ambular, BerBer, and Bambi said...

You deserve it...you are HIIIIIlarious :)I have not came across a blog as honest as yours

bernthis said...

tell your sister, too late, as I am now number 13. I loved this post. Touched a real place in my heart

Liz @ It's Great To Be Home said...

Hey!! I just wanted to let you know that you totally made my day with your comment on my blog. :):) Thank you! By the way, I love your blog - finding humor in all of life's crazy situations is an awesome skill!!

~ Liz

Amber aka: AmBam, Amborghini, Ambular, BerBer, and Bambi said...

FYI...due to a VERY slow work week I have been able to go back and read all your posts. We have soooo much in common...even our husbands are alike.

Unknown said...

Yeah, uh, I'm the same way. Whenever I see a link to ANYTHING I get all tingly and think "ooh, maybe that's for me." Then I act all cool and collected like I really didn't want them to link to me anyway. The jerks. ;)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I read this yesterday - but I was in training all day and could comment. Then of course I fell asleep at 9:30.

Anyway - I was going to nominate you for something, but just saw that Christy took care of it. You are one of my favorites (as well as one of the first blogs I ever really followed).

And I actually clicked on that Anna link too - wondering if it was you.

Seriously - become an underdog - I've been so busy this week, I've kind of let both of my sites drop. But I'm going to try to catch up this weekend.