tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post1284339307132328874..comments2024-02-11T02:09:23.512-08:00Comments on An Inch of Gray: A Welcome BalmAnna Whiston-Donaldsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14921348961654008115noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-65175420449158583512018-08-31T14:48:09.163-07:002018-08-31T14:48:09.163-07:00Hi Anna! I’ve been following your blog for a coupl...Hi Anna! I’ve been following your blog for a couple years now and so appreciate the window you give into a mother’s grief. My older sister died five years ago from biphenotypic leukemia (I blogged about it at jennifer-sample.blogspot.com). Grieving as a sibling is certainly different than grieving as a mother so your blog has helped me better understand my mother’s grief.... Also, I wanted to say I’m excited for your book and wish you congratulations! I also wanted to pass along this book “Voyage to the Star Kingdom” (Amazon has it) based on a real family who has lost a young daughter to a terminal brain disease and the youngest daughter is also suffering from this disease (you can read more at thegieselmann5.blogspot.com). When I read about your book in your previous post, I saw that you said there weren’t many books out there for grieving kids. In addition to yours, I just wanted to share an extra one. Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16188978311965450030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-35108943230892597862018-08-19T07:46:15.040-07:002018-08-19T07:46:15.040-07:00Hello Anna, I have been following your blog for 4 ...Hello Anna, I have been following your blog for 4 years now since my 16 year old daughter passed away unexpectantly from unconfirmed health complications. She had two auto-immune diseases but was a picture of health, vibrant and full of life at the time of her passing. I was given your book by a friend to read a couple of months after her passing and I read it from cover to cover in one sitting. I can’t tell you how much your story has meant to my healing. Your blog has been a small balm when I’m feeling like no one understands what i’m going through. I’ve wanted to reach out at times but just never have. Today, your post has inspired me to reply because I am forever searching for a balm. We too moved because of painful reminders in what was to be our “forever home”. Not the best financial decision we’ve made but necessary. We have lost (and backed away from) friendships and family that couldn’t endure our loss and changes. However, we have also embraced new friendships and relationships that support and provide the balm that helps us heal. I have always been active and sporty and with well meaning friends I turned to exercising myself into exhaustion in the first two years of grieving and also accepted a very stressful job offer of which I had no experience with. This “new” life eventually landed me in the hospital. Not the right balms! I am learning to live again and this requires continuous searching for the right “balm”. Coaching my son’s basketball team, yoga, excessive motivational u-tube watching, anti-exercising, over organizing closets and drawyers, Netflix binging, painting furniture, paying more attention to politics and current events, juicing, whatever works! Recently, I have teamed up with other grieving Moms to begin a child grief support group in our town and surrounding area(never thought I would be able to do this). I’m not only hoping to support and serve others in their grief but looking to apply yet another balm on my open and wounded heart. 4 years in and the pain is still close to the surface. I am so grateful for this post Anna because it sheds light on the darker side of grief that us grieving parents work so hard everyday to overcome despite how we look or sound to everyone else. We are not just brave, courageous and full of faith. We are dark and wounded at times in need of a balm. We are real. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-20547367686584290422018-08-18T18:01:33.101-07:002018-08-18T18:01:33.101-07:00Anna, I have not posted to you in a long time, but...Anna, I have not posted to you in a long time, but this post hit me with its emotional truth. How I ache for you. I had not known about the details of the common area of the shared driveways, and how you must have suffered. Glad you took steps to give yourself a different setting. We all need to take care of ourselves.<br /><br />A song from the musical "Hamilton" resonates with me. It is focused on Alexander and his wife mourning the loss of their beloved first-born son, Phillip. They too moved -- from lower Manhattan to uptown. <br /><br />You can listen to the song and read the lyrics here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMAoOGnw9qQ<br />I find it so very moving. The creator, Lin-Manuel Miranda, shared it (when the musical was still in development) with a couple who lost their own son at the age of 16, and they listened to it daily and found it comforting.<br /><br />I hope you find it comforting, and thanks for this meaningful post.<br />-- Joan in PA<br />Joanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09946933893961955835noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-42765359001217161522018-08-17T09:40:10.716-07:002018-08-17T09:40:10.716-07:00Beautifully written. I love the concept of a balm ...Beautifully written. I love the concept of a balm . Something for me to ponder as I struggle with a different kind of pain.Melnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-4466852499370808022018-08-17T08:14:29.493-07:002018-08-17T08:14:29.493-07:00I would have probably felt the same way as you so ...I would have probably felt the same way as you so please don't feel guilty about that. It's perfectly natural. My mom passed away 8 months ago, it's so hard hearing my friends talk about their moms. I often get annoyed when I see a post about someone losing their grandparent or great grandparent when my mom was so young. I feel bad feeling that way but I can't help it.kristinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04466351572318769153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-75533176879742372932018-08-16T08:40:45.317-07:002018-08-16T08:40:45.317-07:00Anna-sending prayers to you and your family. Ther...Anna-sending prayers to you and your family. There isn't a day that I don't think about Jack, he was a very special boy. You have a beautiful family.<br /><br />Falls Church neighborAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-14681928171099131882018-08-16T08:31:05.072-07:002018-08-16T08:31:05.072-07:00Good advice. For me it was my parents that died s...Good advice. For me it was my parents that died suddenly, without warning. In order to heal I had to spend time alone in their house, listening to the silence in between crying jags. Somehow that helped get my wound to weep, and then begin to heal.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824027366993286152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-73249841306404292832018-08-14T08:09:49.470-07:002018-08-14T08:09:49.470-07:00I so understand. I lost my husband suddenly 3 yea...I so understand. I lost my husband suddenly 3 years ago. here one day and dead the next. I could not afford to stay in the large house we had and did not need to. Now three years later I live in a different house, drive a different car, my children have had children and I feel like I have moved away from the life that we had and the life that I loved. Grief is so different so every person in every circumstance. There is no right and no wrong only what helps you to get through until you can breathe again.<br />Shelleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-13610749594659477002018-08-14T07:43:56.905-07:002018-08-14T07:43:56.905-07:00Nothing unlikeable, Anna, and I don’t understand t...Nothing unlikeable, Anna, and I don’t understand that comment from the editor. I’m glad the new house has provided a balm even as you continue to drive over that bridge every day. Your honesty and generous sharing in your beautiful writing has helped so many people process their “unlikeable” but all too real emotions. Love and admire you so much!! xoxoClaire Weechhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10726805822512685439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-37327064865458247172018-08-13T08:55:13.082-07:002018-08-13T08:55:13.082-07:00After my brother was hit by a car and killed at th...After my brother was hit by a car and killed at the entrance to our development, my mother continued to live there for 27 years. I always wondered how she managed to drive past the accident site- especially those first few years when the paint outline of his bike and body could still be seen. Me, I drove in the other entrance when I would go home. Your move to me is all too relatable. You have every day as a reminder and there is so little you can change to try and help yourself.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09915722387898143459noreply@blogger.com