tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post1274443362621324962..comments2024-02-11T02:09:23.512-08:00Comments on An Inch of Gray: Thank You, Tim (the husband formerly known as "Tom")Anna Whiston-Donaldsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14921348961654008115noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-48798180751415014382012-02-09T14:45:32.184-08:002012-02-09T14:45:32.184-08:00I hope I am going to be able to communicate my tho...I hope I am going to be able to communicate my thoughts to relay my point without it coming across completely skewed. I am a mom who has lost a child and I am a self blamer as well. There is just no blame in this situtation. Period. Here is where I hope I can make my point without coming it coming out wrong. The bible says that God alone knows the number of our days and they are already written. For whatever reason, Jack's days were only written for 12 1/2 years. The bible also says that our time on this earth is but a spec of sand on a beach. The thing is that eternity is just that. This is so temporary. The bible also says that precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of his saints. Gulp. That is a hard on to swallow but to absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. And in his presence is fullness of joy. It sucks hard for those of us left to grieve the loss of our children so much so that it almost feels it will consume us. But our children are with the Lord basking in his love, peace and joy and will never feel the hurts of this world. Thank God this is all only temporary and one day we will see and never be separated again!Ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13111064620503580685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-7021374477243524702012-02-07T19:44:12.739-08:002012-02-07T19:44:12.739-08:00Every time I read another post,the questions I hav...Every time I read another post,the questions I have are answered. I'm so glad to hear that you're not blaming yourself and that you're husband's not blaming you. I, like you, would have a hard time not blaming.<br /><br />MichelleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-65579265609770705002011-12-19T19:00:28.187-08:002011-12-19T19:00:28.187-08:00Your family will never stop astounding me. Nor wi...Your family will never stop astounding me. Nor will your writing. All my love...K A B L O O E Yhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995547356428809262noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-14407718408979019912011-12-10T03:04:00.953-08:002011-12-10T03:04:00.953-08:00I feel certain that most mothers would agree with ...I feel certain that most mothers would agree with me here. Many accidents with our children happen right before our eyes, that's why they are called accidents. No-one is to blame. My son, now 43, has Christmas disease (the rarer form of haemophilia)and some of his most spectacular accidents happened at home when I either saw him do it or was in the house with him. Please, please don't put blame on yourself, it's a wasteful emotion. God bless you and your family.Vickihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01860432842111093854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-23974674686702163182011-12-09T15:12:56.905-08:002011-12-09T15:12:56.905-08:00I think of you often Anna. You make me a better pe...I think of you often Anna. You make me a better person.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-54878035798650594182011-12-09T12:50:24.514-08:002011-12-09T12:50:24.514-08:00Growing up in an emotionally/verbally abusive home...Growing up in an emotionally/verbally abusive home self hate/blame have been my best friends most of my life :( As a mother I constantly find ways to blame myself for my "human" inadequacies. Your words are an inspiration to me. I read them and I thank God for the gift of motherhood. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you and your husband must feel but I hope you know your loss was not in vain. Your son's spirit lives on in your words and their effect on strangers like me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-23302257889699635532011-12-08T17:27:33.021-08:002011-12-08T17:27:33.021-08:00Very well said <3 God's grace continue to b...Very well said <3 God's grace continue to be with all of youLisahttp://www.autumnstudios.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-84909348857991268912011-12-08T16:39:25.223-08:002011-12-08T16:39:25.223-08:00Anna,
I am elated to read your blog about forgive...Anna,<br /><br />I am elated to read your blog about forgiveness. You chose your life partner so well! 'course, Tim's a lucky guy to be married to you!<br /><br />Love conquers all! With God, nothing is impossible.<br /><br />Ann-Marie JAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-38311749006412225902011-12-08T12:36:17.800-08:002011-12-08T12:36:17.800-08:00Anna we live in the neighborhood across from you a...Anna we live in the neighborhood across from you and have several mutal friends. While we've never met, please know your family is in our prayers everyday and we are proudly displaying our blue ribbons for Jack. <br /><br />My husband and I lost 3 babies (2 girls and a boy) before we had a living child, and I found on line forums (no blogs back then) a huge comfort and credited them with saving my sanity. I also found comfort in books that described people who had near death expereinces - the book Heaven is Real is one I read recently and loved. <br /><br />You will have joy again, because that's what Jack and Jesus want for you and your family. <br /><br />And so you know, even though I'm up and down Lawyers Rd multiple times every day, I never even realized there was a creek there, until that horrible evening in September. I never thought of mentioning it to my kids either. And we are not the only ones who never saw that stupid stream of a water as a threat to our precious ones. Clearly, God has great plans for Jack that He could not accomplish on earth. That can be the only conclusion.<br /><br />LisaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-14374756291954364622011-12-08T07:30:20.415-08:002011-12-08T07:30:20.415-08:00Absolutely beautiful and absolutely right. Blame s...Absolutely beautiful and absolutely right. Blame shouldn't enter the picture here. There are things that were just beyond your control that night... and finding something to assign blame to will do nothing but tear you apart. <br /><br />As always sending many thoughts and prayers to your family. XOXOmypixiebloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09135461083810124483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-69875862937761138682011-12-07T22:34:36.867-08:002011-12-07T22:34:36.867-08:00and so this is exactly WHY things happened... unfo...and so this is exactly WHY things happened... unfolded if you will.. the way in which they did.<br /><br />so you wouldn't be the one to walk away. you wouldn't leave. and there would be no pin pointing of blame. no fingers jabbing at the other half of your coupledom. <br /><br />so things happened... with you there and him not.. because it was what needed to happen to keep you intact.j.sterlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07704830625784773198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-66316065875896173492011-12-07T20:01:08.646-08:002011-12-07T20:01:08.646-08:00Oh Anna.. You have me in tears again. You write so...Oh Anna.. You have me in tears again. You write so beautifully and you express yourself as if we're old friends and I'm sitting on the porch having coffee with you as you share. I love you for that. I love the fact that Tim's lack of blame has made you love him even more. I love the fact that you know there could never be another partner who fully understands the depth of your loss like Tim does. Your marriage will grow from this and gain new strength. I love you both and I am praying for your marriage. <br />Annie P.prenni5https://www.blogger.com/profile/18346493728216305697noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-68856172270684840352011-12-07T17:55:34.601-08:002011-12-07T17:55:34.601-08:00Hold tight Anna - we love you.Hold tight Anna - we love you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-18748429484803462992011-12-07T12:56:26.474-08:002011-12-07T12:56:26.474-08:00Anna,
I know in my heart of hearts that if I were ...Anna,<br />I know in my heart of hearts that if I were in your place, I would have a very difficult time NOT blaming myself. I, too, am a blamer. I also know, without any doubt in my mind, that my husband would NEVER blame me. <br />You are so brave to meet this all head-on and not try to hide behind anything. I've always admired you, and so wish that you did not have to go thru this at all! <br />Thank you for your inspiration, your example, your honor of Jack and your family.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01262739693373864913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-677809821326450232011-12-07T09:59:06.943-08:002011-12-07T09:59:06.943-08:00Hearing this makes me unbearably happy. I'm s...Hearing this makes me unbearably happy. I'm so glad you and Tim have the strength and wisdom to live this life right.<br /><br />love,<br />jbhatAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-63231344330043648222011-12-07T09:19:08.883-08:002011-12-07T09:19:08.883-08:00It was an accident. Tim knows deep within his hear...It was an accident. Tim knows deep within his heart that you are not to blame for this. ((HUGS))Debby@Just Breathehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11685398064340027809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-416047593803224002011-12-07T07:41:02.376-08:002011-12-07T07:41:02.376-08:00Jill- If you would like to email me, my address is...Jill- If you would like to email me, my address is aninchofgrayATyahoo.com<br /><br />Love, AnnaAnna Whiston-Donaldsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14921348961654008115noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-14657783092392532432011-12-07T06:37:52.454-08:002011-12-07T06:37:52.454-08:00Hi Anna,
Every time I hear "Good Life" ...Hi Anna,<br /><br />Every time I hear "Good Life" by One Republic I think of you, your family and Jack and I say a heartfelt prayer to God for you all. I also cry. I'm so sorry for your loss and if there was anything I could do to make it hurt less I would. I know you don't know me, but I feel like I know you. I feel like Tim is just like my husband and Jack is what I expect my 15 month old son to be like when he gets older. Anyway, I too believe you will see Jack again one day and that Jesus is holding him tight. I pray that time heals your very raw wounds... but know that you are in a girl's prayers in PA.<br /><br />Love you,<br />ChantelChantel Hullhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06579287730658106790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-10060254192883137042011-12-07T06:00:33.892-08:002011-12-07T06:00:33.892-08:00Alot of marriages are defined by major milestones ...Alot of marriages are defined by major milestones in life such as kids successes like winning a soccer tournament, a graduation, and even big wedding anniversary celebrations/gift exchanges. It is evident to me that your relationship with Tim did not hinge on a series of major events but a continuous flow of smaller but no less significant daily interactions. And for that same reason no major event (even one so horrendous as this) will break that bond. God bless you and your family.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-57849253510762272702011-12-07T04:22:39.670-08:002011-12-07T04:22:39.670-08:00Praise God for your marriage! I've been prayi...Praise God for your marriage! I've been praying specifically for your marriage and will continue - may God tie you and Tim together with his strong bonds of love. Praise God that he has opened your eyes and heart so wide to see his hand in your life. Love, comfort, hope - may these be with you each and every day. Thank you for sharing so humbly and honestly. You make me re-think how to be a mom and help me love my own children better.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-20498866204578136972011-12-07T04:06:30.476-08:002011-12-07T04:06:30.476-08:00And Jack still loves you and your family.And Jack still loves you and your family.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00824027366993286152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-87686460540191532412011-12-06T22:53:43.389-08:002011-12-06T22:53:43.389-08:00When I read your posts, my heart swells.When I read your posts, my heart swells.Pseudohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10430783970802030846noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-35829598727439886232011-12-06T22:22:43.190-08:002011-12-06T22:22:43.190-08:00Your words continue to speak to me and move me, An...Your words continue to speak to me and move me, Anna. I have a similarly forgiving husband yet I don't think I am the same way. It is difficult to see that in ourselves. But I am so happy that there is no blame and only love shining some light in this darkness, for you, Tim & Margaret. May you continue to have God and each other for strength.Mama Maryhttp://www.mamamaryshow.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-46731301885839588642011-12-06T22:20:51.867-08:002011-12-06T22:20:51.867-08:00Anna~
I wish that I could email you directly. As ...Anna~<br />I wish that I could email you directly. As I read your post last night and reflected on it again tonight I got an idea. A book idea. The idea is my gift to you but I don't know how to contact you. I wish that I did.Jillnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7334921515741798160.post-12985462689988821262011-12-06T20:52:14.648-08:002011-12-06T20:52:14.648-08:00To blame you would mean you did it on purpose. Bu...To blame you would mean you did it on purpose. But it was a freak accident. You let your son go out and play in the rain. And the usually low creek was swollen from the torrential downpour. And the strong currents couldn't be seen. All an accident. I hope you and Tim stay strong. For Margaret...for you and for Tim. But mostly for Jack.<br /><br />xoxo, JuliaJuliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18244507266596613034noreply@blogger.com