You know how painful it is for me to be around boys these days, when every cute little guy in our town seems to be getting a spring haircut, wearing a baseball uniform, or walking through the town green?
Well, there's that.
And at church on Mother's Day, when I was trying to sing and not cry, Tim whispered, "How come every family in here seems to have a little boy climbing all over the dad?" So it's hard for him, too.
After a short mental health nap, I worked on painting the kitchen then got ready for Margaret's big outing that night. And, in an unplanned stroke of genius, it turned out to be THE place to go if you are trying to avoid seeing any preteen or teenage boys-- a Taylor Swift concert!
We, along with 13,998 other screaming moms and daughters (and a few intrepid dads) had an awesome time singing along to Taylor's hits, enjoying Ed Sheeran's opening act, and counting Taylor's costume changes (13?). It was a very positive Mother's Day activity.
Here's a funny story about when we gave Margaret the concert tickets last Christmas. We did our traditional poem scavenger hunt that took her all over the house to find her last "big" present. When she found it, it was just a large Fed-Ex envelope, and her face fell. As I filmed her, she looked up, at me: "An envelope? An envelope? You guys didn't name a star after me, did you?"
No Honey, but we do love you to the moon and back!
We were there on Mother's Day, too. Such a great show. I have to tell you-- there was a woman next to me and for some reason she reminded me of you (and yes I am running the risk of sounding stalkerish since we have never actually "met" and I only "know" you from reading your blog for the past few months). Anyway, I don't think it was you. She was with a pre-teen daughter and also maybe a young adult daughter/niece/etc. But it did make me think of you and wonder how your Mother's Day was going. I'm glad you and your girl were able to find some joy.
ReplyDeleteSo glad your day ended on a happy note with your sweet girl! She's growing up and looking more like you every day!
ReplyDeleteSuch a sweet story. Glad your MD did not turn out to be totally depressing! xoxo
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That is such a great picture of the two of you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to Tim. Just because you don't talk about how he's doing very often, doesn't mean we forget that he is on his own path.
Since that saying on the wall was so important for your family, I assume there's a story behind painting over it, but that you will share it in your way, if you want to, and if you don't, that is understandable. Hopefully it means some kind of good change.
Beautiful post as always. Love the story about Margaret! She is so gorgeous and looks so much like Jack. So sorry again for your loss. Love from amanda
ReplyDeleteLovely Anna, so glad you had a wonderful time. Margaret is certainly growing up! gorgeous.
ReplyDeletethinking of you often
love Fiona xx
So wonderful that you could share that together---a great mom and daughter activity! Taylor's so super, too. Margaret will always remember going with you. Happy Mother's Day to you and may the Lord continue to be your Rock.
ReplyDeleteIt was tough for my sister, Anna. This first Mother's Day without her boy. But she survived. I asked her what I could do, and she asked me to pray for her. She said the first miracle was that she was able to get out of bed that day. Then the 2nd miracle was that she got dressed, and to church. Then the miracles continued as she went to breakfast with her two sons, then on to #4 as they went to get plants for the garden in back. And on to #5 where their little new family survived up until dinner time. Then thank GOD above, because the sweet release of bedtime came. Monday morning, she woke up, and minute by minute, she had survived Mother's Day.Love to you, Anna, and I am grateful to God above for blessing you with miracles...
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a good time. Margaret is so pretty! Thought of you on Mothers Day. Think of you often.
ReplyDelete-Jackie in NY
And aren't you glad you did not name a star after her? Ha! Man I bet that Taylor Swift event was full of lots of high pitched screaming, don't think I could handle that.
ReplyDeleteIf writing about the hard parts of life these days is helpful to you, then you know we can handle it. We are here for you and your readers understand. Everyone needs a safe place to dump the stuff you cannot say to the moms at the bus stop. We are that for you.
Holidays are always so hard. I'm so glad that you and Margaret were able to go out and have some fun together. She is getting so big! You're always in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo
ReplyDeleteYou see the boys and I see the girls. Strange how what we want to hold so badly smacks us in the face. Glad the concert was a good place to go!
ReplyDeleteDid you see Jill and her girls there? I'm pretty sure they were there too. So glad you had fun, and her 'buy me a star' comment is SO DAMN FUNNY. Love you! xo
ReplyDeleteMargaret is so beautiful! And she sounds like the wittiest child. I'm glad you enjoyed the concert together. <3
ReplyDeleteShe is looking so grown up! Just beautiful. Smart move on the Taylor Swift!
ReplyDeleteI love the Fed Ex envelope comment!
ReplyDeleteGreatidea on scavenger hunt!
We went to a TSwift concert in Denver. Great show!
So fun that you two did that together. She's such a beautiful reflection of her mama. xoxo
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun way to spend time with your daughter on Mother's Day! Her comment about the star is too funny. I'm taking my daughter to see Taylor Swift tomorrow night here in Austin. She is beyond excited. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI love the star! Always seemed like a lame gift to me too.
ReplyDeleteWe were at that concert too! I'm glad that you and Margaret had fun; I thought it was a wonderful thing to do on Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteOH how I know that joy, my daughter who is now 18 was over the moon for Taylor a few years back. I remember sitting there just full of joy that she had set a goal and made it (met Taylor and was sitting in the pit) AND such pride for Taylor, overwhelmed with what her family must feel watching their little girl. Glad you all had a nice day, we do what we have to to get thru it all!
ReplyDeleteYou have such a masterful way of bright siding things. I know this day is hard for you yet it comingles with happiness because of Margaret. You do an excellent job of being real about how you're feeling while still being open to and aware of the life around you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great experience for you and Margaret! I will never forget when my mom took a few of my friends and I to a Tiffany concert for my 13th birthday...so many fun memories!! Thought of you often on Mother's Day. XO
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you survived the day, and that it ended in such a beautiful, uplifted way. :o)
ReplyDeleteI just have to say how much older Margaret looks in that bottom photo. Wow.
Hugs!
Margaret is awesome. You and Tim are too.
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jbhat
@The Empress, my heart goes out to your sister, and to you, too.
ReplyDeleteLove Margaret's thoughts on the big gift envelope at Christmas! Sounds like a lovely way to spend Mother's Day with her. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteSo glad you were able to enjoy your day! <3
ReplyDeleteWe've made it through 2 Mother's Days! Hugs
ReplyDeleteOh yay - TS! I'm taking my girls to her concert in September. I think I am more excited than they are. lol
ReplyDeleteI love Margaret! She is a total crack up.
ReplyDeleteAnna, my daughter and I were there too!!! We also gave her the tickets for Christmas....in an envelope. Great red head minds think alike. :) It was a great Mother's Day with my daughter, one I will never forget. Sending you and your family love from Purcellville!!!
ReplyDeleteshe soo looks like Jack here, hugs!
ReplyDeleteSweet, love Taylor, nice gift for both of you. Mary in NY
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I thought I had read this already. Gorgeous little apple-cheeked goodness in that daughter of yours.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is full of ache for what you and Tim are feeling. Tim's words seem to drive it home especially.
But Margaret always knows how to lighten the mood. How I chucked at that one. And how very appropriate your last line was. :-)
Love you guys so much.
hahaha. to the moon and back. right on!! that m cracks me up!
ReplyDeleteAnna. Thank you for being so honest in your posts. I'm sure it helps others to hear someone say what they feel. I understand your not being able to be around boys. It's painful. My son has paranoid schizophrenia which began showing itself when he was in 11th grade (8years ago). I found it painful to hear from his old teammate's parents or our neighbors, the stories of how well their sons were doing in college, in their jobs, with their girlfriends. I couldn't bear to be reminded of how small, painful and tortured my son's life had become. I pulled away and avoided anyone who might innocently ask how he was or what he was up to. I still struggle with that. I know you will, too. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your sweet son.
ReplyDeleteShe is just so beautiful. I love that her face fell in disappointment. She holds nothing back, hey?
ReplyDeleteI thought about you hard (is that a thing?) on Mother's Day. You were on my mind all day. I'm glad you had this time with Margaret. The sweet in the bitter.
Love you, friend.
We gave our 9 year old daughter TS tickets for Christmas, too. We finally get to go next week!
ReplyDeleteLaughed out loud at Margaret's comment -- a star indeed. She's a gem. Sorry to catch up with your Mother's Day post so late, Anna. I do think and speak of you often even when I'm out of the blogosphere. Your writing always, always speaks to me.
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