Let's Hear it FROM the Girl!

My husband Tom is darn lucky to have me.

I know I have shared on this blog about his hotness, his love for cooking, and what a great father he is. I mean, he was taking the kids to art museums before I was even comfortable taking them to the grocery store.

But still, he owes me big time. What I lack in the culinary arts, I make up for in bluntness and openness. Tom is introverted, shy, and buttoned up. For him, discussion is to be avoided at all costs. As in, if you don’t discuss something, the issue might just go away.

Several years ago he introduced Jake to the birds and the bees. This is Jake’s take on it, “Dad says that if a woman gets too close to a man, microscopic creatures go from his body to hers and then they have a baby.” Good, as far as it went, but certainly not enough to get the kid through Junior High.

I knew the next level of conversation would have to come from me, preferably under the cover of darkness. You see Jake is an introvert, too, but he is also a night owl. I have discovered that bedtime, in the dark, is the best way to talk about his feelings, or anything that has happened during the day. He does not want to go to sleep, so he is usually up for conversation.

Therefore, I sprung the topic at bedtime.

I am dying to share the award-winning curriculum of

Sex Ed, An Inch of Gray Style, but I also don’t want to get any creepy search engine hits.

So, bear in mind that although Anna See is usually blunt, open, and ever so calm when discussing these valuable topics with her offspring, particularly under the cover of darkness, and that she almost always uses proper medical terminology, she will need to edit herself carefully for Google’s sake.

S.E.A.I.O.G.S Lessons 1 and 2:

Periods
Female Anatomy
Male anatomy, textbook and slang terms
Function of male anatomy
Hormonal fluctuation
Homosexuality
The woman who became a man, married a woman, and had a baby (Thanks Guinness Book!)
Circumcision
Dreams that are not dry
Ons that are not soft
How to carry a book or a jacket to disguise an On that is not soft
How much?
How long?
How often?
Where?
Why?
Logistics
Premarital sex
Immodest clothing
Suggestive dancing

S.E.A.I.O.G.S. Upcoming Lesson 3:

That all this may sound weird but it is truly a special, wonderful gift. Just don’t read blogs because you might get the idea that a lot of moms wish they could exchange this gift for a nice long nap, a Diet Dr. Pepper and a pedicure.

You owe me, Tom! I’d say you are in charge of telling Molly, but that would just be too cruel, to both of you.

P.S. I’m also available for Birthday parties and Bar Mitzvahs.